Monday, July 19, 2004

Which One?

“Which one? A rhinoceros jacked up on steroids or an elephant jacked up on steroids?”
“Gotta go with the elephant.”
“But the rhino has that tough skin.”
“Yeah, but think of the tusks.”
“And the trunk. Trunk is a real advantage.”
“OK. Which one? A bull frog jacked up on steroids or a chicken jacked up on steroids?”
“I’d have to say chicken. The beak.”
“Yeah, but some of them bullfrogs get pretty big…”
“Chicken. Which one? A gorilla jacked up on steroids or a huge squid jacked up on steroids?
“How big is huge?”
“I’ve heard they can get as big as 3 stories.”
“No way.”
“Yup. Bigger than the side of the house.”
(There’s a lull in the conversation as they pause to consider the side of the house.)
“What would a squid that size eat?”
“Whatever it wanted.”
“No, really. What would it have to eat every day? Cuz something that big has to eat a lot.”
“Back to the question. Gorilla jacked up versus squid jacked up…”
“How big would the gorilla be?”
“Large. As big as they get.”
“Where would the fight take place? On land? Or in the water?”
“Let’s say land.”
“Havta go with the gorilla then.”
“OK, what about water?”
“Squid has the advantage… but how would it fight? Is it like an octopus?”
I’m lying on my back on the bench on the upper deck at the cabin at the lake. It’s midnight, so I’m watching the shooting stars and satellites and wondering how it can still be 28 degrees outside. Below me, around the campfire, (campfire. In this heat) the boys are talking. (The “boys” by the way, are 20, 19, 17, 16 and 14 years of age.)
I’m feeling blessed to be at this place. Every now and then they let me interject my opinion on animal superiority, but mostly I just listen. And wait. Hoping that eventually, once they’ve exhausted this asinine topic, they’ll move on to something deeper. More intellectual. More spiritual? Personal? Interesting?
Forty five minutes later, I went to bed. And suggested they do the same. No point staying up all night talking about nothing.
Tonight, Drew and I went for a walk around the neighbourhood.
“Do you know what the big guys were talking about last night?” I asked.
“About which animals would win in fights if they were jacked up on steroids.”
“Like what?”
“Like, a rhino versus an elephant. Which would win.”
“I hate this.”
“Having to go to bed before they do. They have all the best talks when I’m not there.”
“That’s a good talk?”
“Yeah. This year at Creationfest I’m going to stay up as late as them. I don’t want to miss the animal fights talks. You always make me go to bed before they get to the best part…”
Someday, in the distant future, if one of my daughter-in-laws comes to me with tears in her eyes, complaining that my son doesn’t ever talk to her, I’ll suggest she open up a romantic candlelit dinner conversation with, “Which one? A sloth jacked up on steroids or a tortoise?”

Three good things:

Cool showers
Good dreams
Scented gardens
Something not so good –
Cracked heels
Take care - 

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