Things I Know To Be True

(I read this blog post to the team at work on Thursday morning.)
(I walked through Jesse's field of flowers on Wednesday evening (#CutlusLakeFlowerFest)
This is a mash up.

In November 2018, I posted this to Facebook:

If you are in doubt, let me confirm some truths for you.

There is a God who created you and knows your name. There is life after death. You are here by God’s design; part of His plan for this generation. There is power in the name of Jesus. God’s pursuit of you is greater than your ability to wander. Pineapple is a perfectly acceptable pizza topping. There is no daily limit on the number of ‘likes’ you can click on Instagram, so go crazy. A handwritten notecard, delivered by mail, is a piece of art. Holding hands with someone you love will never not be romantic. Calendars should have big squares and little numbers. There is never an excuse for wearing pajamas to the mall. You will not regret joining a book club. Introverts are not broken extroverts. You can eat meat and still be a good person. There should be a petition to change the longest day of the year to August 1, so that the 30 days before and after land during our summer months. It just makes sense. You will always hear the best life stories at funerals. When choosing who to fall in love with, consider whether he’s the type of man who’ll have chocolate in his truck when he picks up your adult daughter from an accident scene. Always accept an invitation to sing hymns with Mennonite seniors. There is a rule about pink and red flowers never being beside each other in the garden or a vase; heed it. Excellence is sexy. Family is everything. Your teeth aren't going to last forever. Everything in moderation, except kindness. Be extravagant with that shit. Your legacy is being formed everyday that you live; so do good things. Moisturize. xo

Nine months later, I know these statements to also be true:

God has plans for our lives, for my life. They are plans for good and not disaster; plans to give me, to give us, to give you a future and a hope. Jeremiah 29:11

And we know, I know, that God causes EVERYTHING to work together for the good of those who love Him ... Romans 8:28

NOTHING in all creation will ever be able to separate me, separate us, from the love of God. 
Romans 8: 39

God is so gonna work out His plans for my life; and your life, and Clint's life, and Max's life, and Drew's life and Danica's life ... He's faithful. And His love?  Endures foreverrrrrr. Psalm 138: 8

Though I stumble, and we crash, we won't fall because He holds our hands; He holds MY hand. 
Psalm 37:24

Hey Jane, I will guide you along the best pathway for your life. I'll give you wisdom and keep an eye on you. Just chill, woman. 
Psalm 32:8

Jane, don't be afraid, I am right here. With you. I am your God. I will strengthen you. I will help you. I will lift you up. I am holding you by your right hand. I am the Lord, YOUR GOD. And I say to you, "Don't be afraid. I am here to help you." Isaiah 41: 10/13

Don't be afraid. I've called you by name, you are mine, Jane. When you go through deep waters and great trouble, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown. You are precious to me. I love you. Isaiah 43:1



I am the Lord and I made you, Jane. I'm not gonna forget to help you. Isaiah 44:21







I will be your God throughout your lifetime Jane - until your hair is white with age. I made you and I will care for you. I will carry you along and I will save you. Isaiah 46:4, 10

I alone am God and there is no one like me. EVERYTHING I PLAN WILL COME TO PASS; I do whatever I wish.

~~~~~~~

So. 


God has a plan for my life that surprised me.

In May I felt a lump, in June it was needle-biopsied, in July it was surgically removed/biopsied and, well, I got the news last Thursday, on Aug 1 that I have breast cancer. (That one sentence contains 3 months of roller-coaster-emotions.)

Shitty news for sure. Still kinda reeling from it, because WHAT THE HECK. I totally wasn't expecting to hear her (the third doctor I've met in the Breast Clinic) tell me she was sorry, but she had bad news. 

I will have surgery on Aug 22 to remove part of my breast, including some lymph nodes from my arm pit to see if there is more/if it's spread. PRAYING/begging God that it's nowhere else, because that would massively suck balls. (Chemo, more surgery ...)

Really, really hoping it is 'just' the one isolated tumor (pleeeeease God) so my treatment will include 3 months of daily radiation and hormone therapy for 5 years. Ugh. 

Truly did not want to have 'cancer' be part of my bumpy journey through life, but there you have it. I am clearly not the author of my story. I do know that He is a great story-teller so I'm going to trust that this plot twist is just a character-development chapter and by the end of the story, I will be a better person than I was at the beginning of the tale.

While you pray for me, (because I know that you will) please pray for everyone else who got the same diagnosis on Aug 1. Those other women might not have people praying for them and I'll probably have more than my fair share. We are the August First Ladies. 

(Apparently the stats are that 5 of us who had appointments at Jimmy Pattison Surgical Centre on Thursday all got the same news. My heart is aching for those women who are facing this alone, or without a faith, or haven't got a supportive community behind them. May God be gentle with them.)

And please pray for Tessa. A young woman, only 23, who has a mass on her liver and just diagnosed cancer in her kidney. Also? seeing I'm being bold and asking for prayer, Could you pray for my kids? I have an itemized list of about 100 things, but I'll just leave the specifics up to you.

I do believe this; my life is not my own. If God is using this for His purposes, well, OK then. I'm sure when I get to heaven I'll say, "WHOA. THAT CANCER THING in 2019? What a brilliant idea!" (Today I'm a little less enthusiastic, but if I start as I mean to go, then this will be my mantra; 'You have good ideas, Your will be done'.)

He's been providing for my needs ever since He created me. He won't abandon me now.
So whatever I'm facing, He will take care of me. 
I am not alone. 
I am loved.
I just hope it doesn't hurt too much. Or be very icky. 

God is good. When troubles come, like cancer, or divorce, or drug addictions or a parent's early onset dementia, He is a strong refuge. He knows everyone who trusts in Him by name. (Nahum 1:7) When I remember all the amazing things He did in the past, I am in awe. In this time of (another one of my) great needs, I trust in His power to save me. (Habakkuk 3:2) Even tho ... fig trees have no blossoms, there are no grapes on the vine, even tho the olive crop fails and the fields are barren... EVEN THO I HAVE CANCER IN MY BOOB, yet I will praise Him. (Habakkuk 3:7) For the Lord my GOD is a mighty saviour. He rejoices over me with gladness. With His love He will calm my fears.(Zephaniah 3:17)

And I may be taking this out of context, but I'm grabbing hold of it with both hands: He is able to do immeasurably more than we could ever dare ask for or hope. (Ephesians 3:20) So I'm gonna to dare ask for complete healing, and see what He does with that.

Three things I'm thankful for:

1. Warm breezes that swish through sunflower leaves and weeping willow trees. It was magical in that field this evening.

2. People who journey alongside, by praying, talking, texting, listening, loving. I am a lucky girl.

3. The health care system in Canada.

Shalom,
xo

Thinking Good Thoughts

On Feb 21 I saw my doctor about getting a re-fill for my prescription for high blood pressure pills.
While I'm waiting in the examining room, I get a 6 word text that makes me smile and causes my heart to sing a little bit.

Doc, entering the room 2 minutes later: Hi! What can I do for you today?

Me: Hiya, I need a refill.

Doc: That's easy enough. Let's get that done.

Me, as he tightens the band around my arm: I ran out about 5 weeks ago, so it'll probably be high.

Doc, as he starts pumping that thing that makes the band strangle my bicep: That's actually OK. We'll get a good baseline of what you're at without meds.

Me, thinking about that text and grinning in my soul: Okie doke.

Doc, reading the numbers in surprise: Interesting. You are normal. Right in the healthy range.

(I'd been on these meds ever since Max started using drugs. And then my house got robbed. Then my truck was stolen. Then I lost my job. Then I had an empty nest. Then my dad had a stroke...and so on. Every time he checked my blood pressure in the past 6 years, I had something heavy (usually my dad or my kids) on my mind. This was likely the first time this decade that my blood pressure has been tested and I've had happy thoughts in my head.)

We decided I should probs keep taking them, as this day's reading may have been a fluke.

I really wanted to ask him to give me a few minutes (to get all worked up and worried about something) and do the test again. I wanted to see just how much having negative thoughts could affect a blood pressure reading. But I didn't want to waste his time. So I left it. BUT I WAS SURE I COULD CHANGE MY BLOOD PRESSURE SIMPLY BY ALTERING MY THOUGHTS.

On April 13, I was back at the doctors, this time for my annual (well, bi-annual) physical, complete with all the touchy feelies. While on the stir-up table, partially covered with a blue piece of paper the size of a napkin, he checks my eyes, ears, throat, lungs and tests my blood pressure again. 

This time? 

I have big heavy thoughts on my heart; like, after he puts the blood pressure thingy back on the wall, his attention will turn back to me and all my below-the-neck-parts. 

Not unexpectedly, my blood pressure numbers are high. 

I lay back on the table and count the dots in the ceiling tiles while he continues his examination. When he's done, he leaves the room so I can put my clothes back on. 

Him, after re-entering the room: You're very healthy...

Me: Can you check my blood pressure again?

Him: Happy to. It should be lower now that you're seated in a chair, dressed?

Me, already thinking about things that make me very happy: Definitely.

Know what? 

IT WAS.

It was totally lower and right in the healthy zone. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A friend is struggling with anxiety and depression, and her psychiatrist concluded, after 5 months of treatment, that the root cause of her struggle is "Constant Rumination". 

"Ruminating is like wearing a constant groove in a record, you replay the same thoughts over and over until it is nearly impossible to stop."

So I said to her, "Uh, so, instead of thinking the thoughts that you are, maybe you're supposed to think on things that are good and excellent and pure and spectacularly incredible?"

Haha.

Who knew that Bible verses were good for your health?

Three things I'm thankful for:

1. The power we have to think about anything we choose to.

2. Smart people; like doctors.

3. God knew what He was doing when He left us a Bible full of wisdom for everyday living.

On the blackboard wall in the Creative Dept at work:

Verses I'm Memorizing:

The grass withers and the flowers fade,
      but the word of our God stands forever.

 O Zion, messenger of good news,
      shout from the mountaintops!
   Shout it louder, O Jerusalem.
      Shout, and do not be afraid.
   Tell the towns of Judah,
      “Your God is coming!”
 Yes, the Sovereign Lord is coming in power.
      He will rule with a powerful arm.
      See, he brings his reward with him as he comes.

 He will feed his flock like a shepherd.
      He will carry the lambs in his arms,
   holding them close to his heart.
      He will gently lead the mother sheep with her young.

 Who else has held the oceans in his hand?
      Who has measured off the heavens with his fingers?
   Who else knows the weight of the earth
      or has weighed the mountains and hills on a scale?

 Who is able to advise the Spirit of the Lord?
      Who knows enough to give him advice or teach him?
 Has the Lord ever needed anyone’s advice?
      Does he need instruction about what is good?
   Did someone teach him what is right
      or show him the path of justice?

  No, for all the nations of the world
      are but a drop in the bucket.
   They are nothing more
      than dust on the scales.
   He picks up the whole earth
      as though it were a grain of sand.
 All the wood in Lebanon’s forests
      and all Lebanon’s animals would not be enough
      to make a burnt offering worthy of our God.
 The nations of the world are worth nothing to him.
      In his eyes they count for less than nothing—
      mere emptiness and froth.

 To whom can you compare God?
      What image can you find to resemble him?
 Can he be compared to an idol formed in a mold,
      overlaid with gold, and decorated with silver chains?
 Or if people are too poor for that,
      they might at least choose wood that won’t decay
   and a skilled craftsman
      to carve an image that won’t fall down!

  Haven’t you heard? Don’t you understand?
      Are you deaf to the words of God—
   the words he gave before the world began?
      Are you so ignorant?
 God sits above the circle of the earth.
      The people below seem like grasshoppers to him!
   He spreads out the heavens like a curtain
      and makes his tent from them.
 He judges the great people of the world
      and brings them all to nothing.
 They hardly get started, barely taking root,
      when he blows on them and they wither.
      The wind carries them off like chaff.

 “To whom will you compare me?
      Who is my equal?” asks the Holy One.

 Look up into the heavens.
      Who created all the stars?
   He brings them out like an army, one after another,
      calling each by its name.
   Because of his great power and incomparable strength,
      not a single one is missing.

 O Jacob, how can you say the Lord does not see your troubles?
      O Israel, how can you say God ignores your rights?

 Have you never heard?
      Have you never understood?
   The Lord is the everlasting God,
      the Creator of all the earth.
   He never grows weak or weary.
      No one can measure the depths of his understanding.
 He gives power to the weak
      and strength to the powerless.
 Even youths will become weak and tired,
      and young men will fall in exhaustion.
 But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength.
      They will soar high on wings like eagles.
   They will run and not grow weary.
      They will walk and not faint.

January 31: Proverbs 31

I hate this woman:
(Hahaha)




A wife of noble character who can find?
   She is worth far more than rubies. 
Her husband has full confidence in her
   and lacks nothing of value.
She brings him good, not harm,
   all the days of her life.
She selects wool and flax
   and works with eager hands. 
She is like the merchant ships,
   bringing her food from afar.
She gets up while it is still night;
   she provides food for her family
   and portions for her female servants.
She considers a field and buys it;
   out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
She sets about her work vigorously;
   her arms are strong for her tasks.
She sees that her trading is profitable,
   and her lamp does not go out at night.
In her hand she holds the distaff
   and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
She opens her arms to the poor
   and extends her hands to the needy.
When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
   for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
She makes coverings for her bed;
   she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
Her husband is respected at the city gate,
   where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
She makes linen garments and sells them,
   and supplies the merchants with sashes.
She is clothed with strength and dignity;
   she can laugh at the days to come. 
She speaks with wisdom,
   and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
She watches over the affairs of her household
   and does not eat the bread of idleness.
Her children arise and call her blessed;
   her husband also, and he praises her:
“Many women do noble things,
   but you surpass them all.”
Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
   but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. 
Honor her for all that her hands have done,
   and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.




Coincidently, over at Stuff Christian's Like, Jon referenced Prov 31 today too. He added a few lines and "remixed" it. 
I love this addition:

1. She does not dress a dog in “ensembles.”

I’m not sure if this is Biblical, but when Proverbs 31:24 says, “She makes linen garments and sells them,” they should add “but does not weave matching ensembles that both she and her purse dog wear.” Every time I see a dog wearing a sweater/sock/visor combo I hug my wife and tell her I love her.

He's asked his readers what they would add to this batch of verses and the comment section is so fun to read:

Sample: the Proverbs 31 woman strikes me as a bit insane. A clothing designer and producer, farmer/landowner, entrepreneur, volunteer, cook, counselor, teacher, mother, she’s always smiling and happy, and she apparently doesn’t sleep (v. 18)or ever take a break.

No pressure ladies.
I would be happy if my wife “fears the Lord”, likes to do stuff, likes “Stuff Christians like”, and lets me watch sports sometimes.




Shalom,

Links and Quotes

A great doodle tool can be found here: Try it.
I used it while listening to Jeff's sermon on wealth. It's the grand finale of the Bling series.

Andrea forwarded this blog to me, written by Myron Berg's wife.
It will rip your heart out.
They were on their way home from a short vacation at Harrison Hot Springs when their family van was hit head on twenty minutes from their home. Myron died. Her four children are all in Children's Hospital and her blog is their story.

January 30: Proverbs 30


As the beating of cream yields butter
      and striking the nose causes bleeding,
      so stirring up anger causes quarrels.


There are three things that amaze me—
      no, four things that I don’t understand:
how an eagle glides through the sky,
      how a snake slithers on a rock,
      how a ship navigates the ocean,
      how a man loves a woman.

January 29: Proverbs 29

Fools vent their anger,
      but the wise quietly hold it back.


To discipline a child produces wisdom,
      but a mother is disgraced by an undisciplined child.


Discipline your children, and they will give you peace of mind
      and will make your heart glad.

January 28: Proverbs 28

When there is moral rot within a nation, its government topples easily.
      But wise and knowledgeable leaders bring stability.


Young people who obey the law are wise;
      those with wild friends bring shame to their parents.


God detests the prayers
      of a person who ignores the law.


Blessed are those who fear to do wrong,
      but the stubborn are headed for serious trouble.


A wicked ruler is as dangerous to the poor
      as a roaring lion or an attacking bear.


In the end, people appreciate honest criticism
      far more than flattery.


Whoever gives to the poor will lack nothing,
      but those who close their eyes to poverty will be cursed

January 27: Proverbs 27

Anger is cruel, and wrath is like a flood,
      but jealousy is even more dangerous.



An open rebuke
      is better than hidden love!
Wounds from a sincere friend
      are better than many kisses from an enemy.


A person who strays from home
      is like a bird that strays from its nest.


The heartfelt counsel of a friend
      is as sweet as perfume and incense.


A loud and cheerful greeting early in the morning
      will be taken as a curse!


As iron sharpens iron,
      so a friend sharpens a friend.


As a face is reflected in water,
      so the heart reflects the real person.

January 26: Proverbs 26

Do not answer a fool according to his folly, 
   or you yourself will be just like him. 


Like a maniac shooting
   flaming arrows of death 
is one who deceives their neighbor
   and says, “I was only joking!”


Without wood a fire goes out;
   without a gossip a quarrel dies down.