Thursday, August 8, 2019

Things I Know To Be True

(I read this blog post to the team at work on Thursday morning.)
(I walked through Jesse's field of flowers on Wednesday evening (#CutlusLakeFlowerFest)
This is a mash up.

In November 2018, I posted this to Facebook:

If you are in doubt, let me confirm some truths for you.
There is a God who created you and knows your name. There is life after death. You are here by God’s design; part of His plan for this generation. There is power in the name of Jesus. God’s pursuit of you is greater than your ability to wander. Pineapple is a perfectly acceptable pizza topping. There is no daily limit on the number of ‘likes’ you can click on Instagram, so go crazy. A handwritten notecard, delivered by mail, is a piece of art. Holding hands with someone you love will never not be romantic. Calendars should have big squares and little numbers. There is never an excuse for wearing pajamas to the mall. You will not regret joining a book club. Introverts are not broken extroverts. You can eat meat and still be a good person. There should be a petition to change the longest day of the year to August 1, so that the 30 days before and after land during our summer months. It just makes sense. You will always hear the best life stories at funerals. When choosing who to fall in love with, consider whether he’s the type of man who’ll have chocolate in his truck when he picks up your adult daughter from an accident scene. Always accept an invitation to sing hymns with Mennonite seniors. There is a rule about pink and red flowers never being beside each other in the garden or a vase; heed it. Excellence is sexy. Family is everything. Your teeth aren't going to last forever. Everything in moderation, except kindness. Be extravagant with that shit. Your legacy is being formed everyday that you live; so do good things. Moisturize. xo

Nine months later, I know these statements to also be true:

God has plans for our lives, for my life. They are plans for good and not disaster; plans to give me, to give us, to give you a future and a hope. Jeremiah 29:11

And we know, I know, that God causes EVERYTHING to work together for the good of those who love Him ... Romans 8:28

NOTHING in all creation will ever be able to separate me, separate us, from the love of God. 
Romans 8: 39

God is so gonna work out His plans for my life; and your life, and Clint's life, and Max's life, and Drew's life and Danica's life ... He's faithful. And His love?  Endures foreverrrrrr. Psalm 138: 8

Though I stumble, and we crash, we won't fall because He holds our hands; He holds MY hand. 
Psalm 37:24

Hey Jane, I will guide you along the best pathway for your life. I'll give you wisdom and keep an eye on you. Just chill, woman. 
Psalm 32:8

Jane, don't be afraid, I am right here. With you. I am your God. I will strengthen you. I will help you. I will lift you up. I am holding you by your right hand. I am the Lord, YOUR GOD. And I say to you, "Don't be afraid. I am here to help you." Isaiah 41: 10/13

Don't be afraid. I've called you by name, you are mine, Jane. When you go through deep waters and great trouble, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown. You are precious to me. I love you. Isaiah 43:1

I am the Lord and I made you, Jane. I'm not gonna forget to help you. Isaiah 44:21

I will be your God throughout your lifetime Jane - until your hair is white with age. I made you and I will care for you. I will carry you along and I will save you. Isaiah 46:4, 10

I alone am God and there is no one like me. EVERYTHING I PLAN WILL COME TO PASS; I do whatever I wish.



God has a plan for my life that surprised me.

In May I felt a lump, in June it was needle-biopsied, in July it was surgically removed/biopsied and, well, I got the news last Thursday, on Aug 1 that I have breast cancer. (That one sentence contains 3 months of roller-coaster-emotions.)

Shitty news for sure. Still kinda reeling from it, because WHAT THE HECK. I totally wasn't expecting to hear her (the third doctor I've met in the Breast Clinic) tell me she was sorry, but she had bad news. 

I will have surgery on Aug 22 to remove part of my breast, including some lymph nodes from my arm pit to see if there is more/if it's spread. PRAYING/begging God that it's nowhere else, because that would massively suck balls. (Chemo, more surgery ...)

Really, really hoping it is 'just' the one isolated tumor (pleeeeease God) so my treatment will include 3 months of daily radiation and hormone therapy for 5 years. Ugh. 

Truly did not want to have 'cancer' be part of my bumpy journey through life, but there you have it. I am clearly not the author of my story. I do know that He is a great story-teller so I'm going to trust that this plot twist is just a character-development chapter and by the end of the story, I will be a better person than I was at the beginning of the tale.

While you pray for me, (because I know that you will) please pray for everyone else who got the same diagnosis on Aug 1. Those other women might not have people praying for them and I'll probably have more than my fair share. We are the August First Ladies. 

(Apparently the stats are that 5 of us who had appointments at Jimmy Pattison Surgical Centre on Thursday all got the same news. My heart is aching for those women who are facing this alone, or without a faith, or haven't got a supportive community behind them. May God be gentle with them.)

And please pray for Tessa. A young woman, only 23, who has a mass on her liver and just diagnosed cancer in her kidney. Also? seeing I'm being bold and asking for prayer, Could you pray for my kids? I have an itemized list of about 100 things, but I'll just leave the specifics up to you.

I do believe this; my life is not my own. If God is using this for His purposes, well, OK then. I'm sure when I get to heaven I'll say, "WHOA. THAT CANCER THING in 2019? What a brilliant idea!" (Today I'm a little less enthusiastic, but if I start as I mean to go, then this will be my mantra; 'You have good ideas, Your will be done'.)

He's been providing for my needs ever since He created me. He won't abandon me now.
So whatever I'm facing, He will take care of me. 
I am not alone. 
I am loved.
I just hope it doesn't hurt too much. Or be very icky. 

God is good. When troubles come, like cancer, or divorce, or drug addictions or a parent's early onset dementia, He is a strong refuge. He knows everyone who trusts in Him by name. (Nahum 1:7) When I remember all the amazing things He did in the past, I am in awe. In this time of (another one of my) great needs, I trust in His power to save me. (Habakkuk 3:2) Even tho ... fig trees have no blossoms, there are no grapes on the vine, even tho the olive crop fails and the fields are barren... EVEN THO I HAVE CANCER IN MY BOOB, yet I will praise Him. (Habakkuk 3:7) For the Lord my GOD is a mighty saviour. He rejoices over me with gladness. With His love He will calm my fears.(Zephaniah 3:17)

And I may be taking this out of context, but I'm grabbing hold of it with both hands: He is able to do immeasurably more than we could ever dare ask for or hope. (Ephesians 3:20) So I'm gonna to dare ask for complete healing, and see what He does with that.

Three things I'm thankful for:

1. Warm breezes that swish through sunflower leaves and weeping willow trees. It was magical in that field this evening.

2. People who journey alongside, by praying, talking, texting, listening, loving. I am a lucky girl.

3. The health care system in Canada.


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