Happily Ever After?

Been thinking about relationships a lot lately.
Someone I care about was just advised by her husband of 22 years that he is leaving.
And someone else close to me is in the early stages of a blossoming “friendship”.
I’m watching both ends of the love spectrum unfold in front of me.
Brings back memories…both bitter and sweet.

So how come some marriages go the distance and last a lifetime? What’s the trick? What’s the secret ingredient needed in a marriage to keep both partners equally in love? (Equally in love with each other, that is.)

Have you seen Stepford Wives?
Gasp. You haven’t?
Oh my goodness, you should go.
Or not.
Save your five bucks and I’ll just tell you the important stuff:
Men will stay married forever if their wives:
-wear feminine light coloured clothes at all times
- keep their houses spotless and professionally decorated
- have fresh warm baked items always cooling on the counter
- are prepared to acquiesce their husband’s every desire; stated and/or implied
and of course:
- have shoulder length flowing hair.

I was with my friend, who happens to have long wavy hair and was looking youthful in her white and pink ensemble. We found our seats in the theatre and once settled in, she whispered, “I better go call my husband. Just to see how it’s going and stuff…”
A few moments later she was back. “I’ve gotta zip over to Home Depot and pick up some painting supplies for him. He’s going to need them later. I shouldn’t be long. When I get back you can tell me what I’ve missed.”

Uh huh.

When she got back I lifted the hair off her neck to see if she was battery operated.

Is that the trick? Become a Stepford Wife robot and live happily ever after?
Wouldn’t that just suck.

(Oh, this isn’t about me. It’s my daughters-in-law and nieces I’m thinking about. Am too.
I would hate for them to think they have to be Martha Stewarts in French maid outfits…)

Obviously I know nothing when it comes to ‘what it takes’…
So what can I say to my boys? What advice can I give them, realizing it will be ignored anyway? What tidbit of truth can I slip into their consciences without them knowing? What?

My friend Dee, 20 years into a phenomenal marriage, helped me out with these wise words:
1. Have no expectations for your partner. None. Don’t have any preconceived notions about anything.

2. Play together. Have fun. Make that your priority. Continually find things to do that bring you both joy and satisfaction.*

Huh? That’s it? That's all? No floral dresses with cinched waists? No cinnamon buns, gooey with cream cheese icing? No fake smiles and flirty gestures?
Apparently.
Who’d of thought it could be so simple?
“Not I” said the blind woman as she picked up a hammer and saw.

Three things I’m thankful for:
1. a queen size bed, especially on nights when I have a sniffling visitor
2. friends who have the answers to life’s mysteries
3. hardwood floors that warmly glow as the sun sets

Not so thankful for:
A head that doesn’t do “wet” well.


Thot for the day: Don’t tie your shoes in a melon patch.
Take care,

* I've been known to misquote her on occasions, so these 2 points may or may not have been what she said.