Guest Author:

Exerpts from Clint's grade 12 English Memory Book:
(I'll get his permission tomorrow.)

"I had a happy childhood; I never had any traumatic experiences in my first 5 years of life. Everything was perfect and the world was a blissful place to live in.

Of course that changed when I was ushered into the cold, dark and uncaring halls of the public school system."

From Kindergarten: "Scissors were hard to use. I remember that distinctly... mostly because I was left-handed and the only scissors they had were right-handed ones. What age were we living in. the 1920's? It was a huge injustice."

"Grade 4 was when I got my glasses.
Officially I was a dork."
"I also had my first non-white friend in grade 4. I just kinda noticed that now. MB was darker skinned than me... I can't remember now what he looked like, but I know he was either black or brown. That sounds kinda terrible but I have no idea what race he was besides "non-white". Ha ha."

"From the ages of 2 to 4, my preferred movie for every weekend was The Lady and The Tramp. SHUT UP.
And then, the next movie that really impacted me was the STAR WARS trilogy. I watched Star Wars when I was like 7, all 3 of them. Again, SHUT UP. I never memorized the entire movie or dressed up like a Jawa or anything..."

"When I graduated from middle school, I was voted by the grads as the person most likely to win a Darwin award. For those of you not in the know, the Darwin Awards are a series of awards given to people who manage to kill themselves in the most idiotic manner possible, unintentionally. It was a great honor."

"The first day we moved into our new house, my grandpa spilled some burgundy wood stain on our driveway. To stop it from ruining our driveway, he pulled out his universal fix for everything: gasoline. As my grandpa was dousing our driveway, a neighbour came up demanding we stop because the gas might run inot the storm drain that clearly had a yellow fish spray painted on it. Personally I would be more worried about a driveway soaked in gas than the fishies... Whatever the case, she called the fire departmentsaying there were hazardous chemicals in our drains... a fire truck, the fire warden, a pumper truck, a union public-works truck and a manager all arrived on our front step. It was agreed that the drain did indeed have gas in it and it should be removed. t was taken care of and a good time was had by all.

And that is how we made our grand entrance into the community; an economic crisis marred by controversy and flammable liquids.

Not a single person welcomed us to the neighbourhood."

Re: grade 12: "Right now all I'm doing in school is trying to make it as fun and non-sucky as possible."