Thursday, April 21, 2005

Bowser (AKA Clint)

He was born 18 years ago today.
My due date was ‘somewhere in the April 10 – 15th range’. He was ripped out of me via an emergency C section after 36 hours of labour on the 21st.

Incredible how prophetic his entry into this world was. I still wait and wait for him. And by the time he’s ready to make his appearance, we are in crisis mode.

Despite my misgivings regarding his ‘readiness’ for the “N” road test – I did have him at the Driver Service’s building 1 minute before his 3:00pm appointment.
I received a frantic call from him at 2:35pm, “MOM? Come get me. I’m at school. I couldn’t get a ride home.” The reason he couldn’t get a ride home? All his friends, him included, had a spare during the last block – so they left early. He couldn’t catch a ride with them because he left his glasses (which he needs for driving) at Claire’s house, and Claire’s mom was going to drop them off at his school at 2:25 pm. (By the way, in order for me to get him to his test, I had to leave work ½ hour early and ask someone else to do my usual after school pick-ups from the middle and elementary school. After seven rejections, my dad said he’d go.)
Nothing about this road test was easy.
Most things aren’t with him.

He checked in at the counter, zipped over to the bathroom, then sat in the seat two over from me.
“Clint?” the tester asked.
“Uh, yeah” Clint said as he walked over to a short middle-aged round bellied male.
“You lead the way” he said gruffly looking at his clipboard.
“Uh. Ok. I’m parked out by the front. This way is prolly best…” Clint led him away.

I pulled out my journal and started to write.
“I’ve been here before. At Driver Services with a nervous but cute teenaged boy. Last time it was Derek. I was honoured to have been able to be a part of his licence-getting process. The smile of joy and relief when he returned to the building was unlike any smile I’d ever seen on his face before. I hope Clint will come back with a smile too.
But, God, I don’t think he’s ready.
“Dear God. You know what’s best. You love him even more than I do. Please accompany him on this test. Fill him with your spirit so he can experience Your divine peace. Fill him with enough ‘calm’ to squeeze out any nervousness. Send an angel or two to ride along on the roof of the Durango – keep him safe. God, I pray for that tester; please let him be kind. Protect Clint’s self esteem. And if, he truly isn’t ready, then God, I’m praying for your help. May your will be done today in Clint’s lif…”

That’s as far as I got.
A set of keys was dropped in my lap just as I was finishing up that prayer.
“Wha?” I asked, looking to his face for clues.
“Couldn’t take the test. Your windshield has a crack in it.”
“Oh, I’m sorry, hon. I wondered about that…”
“Whatever. That was gay.”
“Yeah. It sucks. But maybe this is a good thing? Maybe you can use a smaller, easier to park vehicle…”

Thank you God.

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