Monday, September 5, 2005

Please don't go.

Is anyone else having a hard time saying goodbye to the summer?
It's killin me.
I've got this dark cloud parked above my all seems so sad.

No other season ends as abruptly as summer. Fall fades into winter, winter wobbles into spring. Spring sneaks over into summer.
But the summer ends on the labor day weekend. Period. There are no extensions. No summer feelings in mid-September. It's over.

This weekend is like falling off a cliff.
The inevidable smash will hurt somethin fierce on Tuesday morning.

I wanted to go away REAL bad this weekend. Just for one night even.
"Hey, you guys wanna go down to Seattle? Do some shopping? See a movie? Stay at that hotel..."
"Nah. Let's just stay home."
"How about Whistler? You've never been there... that'd be fun..."
"No. We don't want to go anywhere."
"How about if we hang out in Vancouver? Do some touristy things, stay in a hotel ..."
"How about Harrison? Relax in the hot pools..."
"MOM. You're not listening. We said no."

Why did I want to go away so badly?
Because I knew if I was at home, all I would see is all the work that has to get done.

And that is exactly what happened.

By Saturday night, 10 pm, I was melting down. Not in a good way.
I'd spent hours picking up. I couldn't keep up with the picking up. They were dropping stuff faster than I could put it away. Pop cans. Chip bags. Sock balls. Wrappers. Cereal bowls.
All three of them had been attached to a computer or a video game all day long.
And when I tried to get on the computer, "my turn?" I was lambasted.
"That's all you do. Write on your blog. You spend hours and hours on it every night. We never get a turn. That 's all you do."

That's all I do?
Excuse me? That's all I do?

I said some bad words. Loudly.
Then left the house for a walk.
Came back half an hour later to find more messes and kids still on the computer.

I said a few more things. Not so nice things.
Then grabbed my Bible and got in my truck.

Drove to White Rock and parked by the beach under some trees lit up with twinkle lights.
I prayed for an hour.
Probably not long enough...

Woke up this morning one day closer to Tuesday morning.
"Want to go to the PNE?"
"No. Let's just stay home."

So stay home we did.

My upper hall is filled with garbage bags. Three with garbage. Four with old clothes. Four with old bedding.
I did 9 loads of laundry today. And I hid all the remotes for the TV. I dealt with 4 large boxes in my closet; including the ones that contained my size 9 wardrobe. I hid all the Nintendo games. I finally unpacked the box labeled "Journals." Can't decide what to do with them all. I think I'll probably shred them. No reason to relive all that crap...

With Clint gone for the day, Max and Drew got into the cleaning craze as well (or maybe they just didn't want me to yell bad words again?) We pulled 2 bags of garbage out of Max's room and we still have a couple more hours of work in there. Drew's room got overhauled as well; especially his closet. He, too, contributed a bag of garbage to our pile in the hall.

With sincere appreciation for all their efforts I told them we'd do whatever they wanted for dinner.
"Can we go to Burger King?"
"Burger King? How about..."
"No mom. BURGER KING."

Tuesday morning is going to hurt so bad.


Christine Lindsay said...

Very, very writerly. What was it -- Fall fades into winter, winter wobbles into spring, spring sneaks into summer. And the cliff image of our summer going into fall. EXCELLENT. You are a writer.

JSY said...

I second what Chrissy said.

And maaaannnnn, do I FEEL your pain! What WAS it in the air this weekend that made me feel like CLEANING everything? The house, like yours, is still totally torn apart. It's 11:32 pm and I am CLAWING AND SCRAPING my way through my work that I ignored all bloody weekend because I was too busy being Holly Housekeeper. I guess we're having a garage sale. AND I will be intimately familiar with eBay before it's all over. We're selling miscellaneous crap that is no longer our treasure.

Tomorrow my girl starts 6th grade. How about Drew? Same? Damn, they grow so fast. Yaun got a CELL PHONE today, only because she has to walk through a woodsy area to get home. Scary. I may just drive her every day because I'm a chicken-poo.

Hang in there, Jane. Before you know it, it will be Christmas. And Christmas is always good. Right?