Friday, August 17, 2007

I'm going to need a steamer trunk

Friends are a wonderful thing.
This summer a girlfriend shared with me all the details surrounding her laser eye surgery. Ten seconds of pain. And it was over. Done. Like THAT. She was thrilled with the results. She was able to read the movie magazine in a darkened theatre. Convinced me.
I don't need to research it anymore. Now I just need $3500.
Also this summer, another friend shared with me her experiences regarding laser hair removal. She was thrilled with the results, and recommeded I go for it. She didn't have any facial hair burned off, but still. Hair is hair.
Now I just need $1000 and my face/neck/upper lip will be soft, smooth, hairless and totally kissable.
And then this week, yet another friend gave me the business card of a doctor who specializes in "active release technique". This is important because apparently she had The Exact Same Hip thing as me. Exact Same. And this doctor? Fixed it *snaps fingers* Just Like That. She was, needless to say, thrilled with the results.
I have no idea if this is covered by any of my medical plans, I'm guessing not. So all I need is some money to get this guy to fondle and caress and yank my leg. (I asked. I can keep loose-fitting shorts on for the procedure. Win. Win.)
Then, way back in the spring, another friend, one that I have never met because she lives kitty corner to me on this continent, recommended the make-up she wears. (Her self photo on her blog had me asking what her secret was.) It costs as much as one year's tuition at a private prep school but she was totally thrilled with the results. So, I aquired some.
Then another friend, who, aghast at my skin care regime, took me by the hand and physically made me purchase an assortment of cleaners, toners, and creams. She'd been using this particular line of product for years and was, yes, oh my word, yes, she was thrilled with the results.
However, the problem now is

How am I going to pack all this stuff for Mexico?

In the olden days, I fit everything in a Ziplock snack bag:

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