Sunday, October 14, 2007

You Know ...

You know how every once in awhile someone accidentally forwards you an email that wasn’t intended for you? And it was about you? And when you read it you feel kinda sick to your stomach? And you wish you’d never seen it, because now you know.
I hate when that happens.
It leaves you feeling a little bit sad.

You know how it’s fall and the days are shorter and the air is cooler and all your favourite shows have new episodes but your TV/Tuner/Speakers don’t work? And how it’s dark by 6:30 these days?
I hate when that happens.
It leaves you feeling a little bit disappointed.

You know how you don’t want someone you love to be sick? And you pray and you hope and you wish and you go into denial? But they get diagnosed with Alzheimer’s anyway?
I hate when that happens.
It leaves you feeling a little bit devastated.

You know how sometimes you get an inkling that something crappy is coming your way? And because it’s happened before, you recognize the signs? And you know there’s nothing you can do to stop it? And you know that you and your kids are going to get hurt in the process?
I hate when that happens.
It leaves you feeling a little bit anxious.

You know how sometimes you pray and you pray and you pray? But it doesn’t feel like those requests make it past the roof of your house? Or is seems like the answer to every prayer is “no”? And you get a little fed up? And maybe a tad angry? And maybe you get tired of praying? Get tired of feeling sad, disappointed, devastated and anxious? And then you lash out at God and say, “Hey? You there? I’d drowning down here and could use a hand! Are you listening to me? Do you still care about me? Can I hear from you please? Cuz I’m barely hanging on here…How about this? I’ve been stuck on the freeway for one and a half hours and have only moved 2 miles. Drew is home by himself and this sucks. Can you get me home by 4:00? I know. I know. Even on a good day, with no traffic issues, 4:00 would be a miracle. Truly this is a ridiculous request. I realize that. But please? I could use a break …”
And then at 4:00 ON THE DOT you pull into your driveway?
I love it when that happens.
It leaves you feeling loved.

Three things I'm thankful for:
1. All three boys helped me in the yard today; doing the lawn, weeding the gardens, spreading a load of barkmulch, trimming the vines and ivy ... wish they woulda let me take pics. It was a beautiful thing.
2. Drew finished painting his room! It looks like a 13 year old did it! Oy. The mouldings! The hardwood floor! The look on his face! It's worth it. And best of all, his stuff is out of the hallway - finally after three months.
3. Starry nights.



raych said...

Oh, I am glad. I think God knows when you're on the verge. Frustrating, though, that He always seems to let you get there before He pulls you back. I suppose He thinks it's character-building.

Anonymous said...

I have got to get my computer back! I've missed so much!

Yes, I know and I know and I know. If Anne of Green Gables knew me and knew you, she'd say we are kindred spirits. I so understand this post!

Keep your chin up! There is a time for everything and one day Jane, it'll be our time for JOY. Here's hoping we go through it together so we can make each other barf with how happy our blog entries are!