Monday, March 31, 2008

He's Home

Seeing he did so well on his weekend day passes, his doctor gave him his walking papers this morning - and now my dad is home.

Which was not what we were told to expect a month ago.

Goes to show you, only God knows anything for sure. The rest of us? We know nussink.


My desk top computer and my laptop computer are in disagreement over the new blog colour. I may have to mess around with things a bit more. Please continue to email your complaints to me.


I didn't go the church today.
I had private devotions at my kitchen table to the sound of the dishwasher humming cleanliness hymns.
I thought I'd read a bit of John ... I was in the mood to have love thrown my way (For God so loved the world - and all that). But God had a different message for me. One that was more applicable:
It's in John 5. Jesus asked the guy, "Do you want to get well?"
He gave a whiny answer about his circumstances.
Jesus said, "Get up. Make your bed. Go for a walk."

Get up.
Clean up.

Whoa. On the Sabbath?
Yes. On Sunday.

So... I tackled the laundry. Then went shopping, fully intending on going for a walk after the stores had closed. There was stuff that I just needed to buy. Like an article or two of clothing. I have worn black every single day for 4 months. And, honestly? I am tired, TIRED of it. So I bought a luscious melon coloured tank top and brown pants. And accessories. Then I bought some perfume. Because.
Just because.
I ran out about 6 months ago, and well, you know. It's one of those things that you never take time to buy. Or at least I don't.
Then I bought some new lipstick. Three tubes. All different colours. One for my desk at work. One to keep in my truck. And one that stays in my bathroom. In the course of a single day, you can count on my lips being one of three different colours. I'm sure if Elizabeth Arden read my blog she'd be shuddering right now.

Then I went to Hallmark and bought $50 worth of greeting cards. Yeah, I know. I love making my own cards. But, honestly? I haven't felt all that creative lately. And Hallmark says it so well.

I picked up some groceries, returned my last DVD (oh my goodness. I thought I was getting a quirky, independent romantic comedy, but yowsers. I'm going to have to bring my glasses along to read the fine print next time. I had the DVD player beside me on the bed and my laptop on my lap, just kinda listening to the dialogue while I worked on my new blog look, when out of the corner of my eye, I saw this bit of explicit coupling. So, I won't tell you the name of the movie. It was, in the end, boring. No wonder they broke up. They didn't really have anything, other than the sex, keeping them together. One scene, which will stick with me for awhile -besides that other one - was of the two of them in the car on their way home from their honeymoon. Thus far in their relationship, he's made most of the decisions - and her best friend has advised her to make the next ten decisions... whatever they may be. She's not to defer to him, but to decide something and stick with it. So, they're driving home and he's in a hurry because he wants to get there. And she sees a sign that interests her. "Hey, there's a fresh produce stand up ahead. Could we stop to pick up a few things?"
He looks at her and sighs, "maybe..."
Then he drives right past the exit where the stand is. "There will probably be another one up ahead. If you still want to stop, we can do it later."
She doesn't say anything.
"Do you want me to turn around? Go back? Is that it?"
She just shrugs and they continue on. They never do stop.
That interaction just made me sad. And I predicted their marriage wouldn't last. It didn't. Even before their second anniversary it was over.)
So, anyway, I took that DVD back and came home, planning on dumping off the groceries, then going down to White Rock to walk along the beach as the sun set.

The thing about being a recluse for months? Is that you kind of get out of the habit of being social. And you kind of forget how to do it. And the thought of picking up the phone and calling someone to see if they wanted to walk with me was causing a me a great deal of anxiety, so I didn't. I've walked alone before. I'm OK with it. I could pray. And take pictures.

I asked Clint to bring the groceries in. And while he did that, I changed. And played a game or two or nine hundred of SCRAMBLE on Facebook. (I've got 9 games on the go right now, with various facebook friends. I suck at it. And clearly know very few three letter words. If you're on facebook and want to play with me, write on my wall, OK) Anyway, by the time I had caught up on all my games, Clint had left for Youth Church. I put the groceries away, called both Max and Drew who wouldn't be home til much later, and got ready to go. For the walk. The walk that God told me to go on.

But I couldn't find my keys. Clint had used them to unlock the truck and ... well, it's Clint's fault. I sound like that guy at the pool. Whine whine whine. "Everytime I try to get into the pool, someone beats me to it. It's not my fault."

I finally got ahold of him at 10 pm. He thought they might be in the pocket of his bright blue snowboarding pants which were on the floor under the towels in the bathroom. But by then Max and Drew were home. And really? That's just silly, walking in White Rock at night by yourself.

So there you have it. Sunday is over. And I feel like I blew it. What's the point in reading the Bible, if you're not going to act on it? Seriously.

Thank goodness for mercy and grace.

Three things I'm thankful for:
1. Clint's friend, Eric was baptized tonight. Yay.
2. I'm not going to wear black tomorrow.
3. He still loves me, this I know. For the Bible tells me so.



raych said...

Ok, this is fabulous now. The light-brown-ish background (I know, it's probably taupe or something, but what do I know about colors? I don't work at Home Depot).
Also, pshaw you blew it! Did you not do laundry? And buy a bunch of new clothes, which I happen to know is not your thing? And didn't you grocery-shop? Those are things that you did! Just because walking was the last thing on your list, and you didn't get around to it, doesn't mean you didn't do those other things.

Anonymous said...

Unless you sat in a shopping cart and someone pushed you while you selected your groceries and the new clothes, I think you did do some walking today.


Actually, that would be a nice way to grocery shop. I'm going to look into it. Maybe when Allison grows up, I can be all, "I pushed you around in a cart for YEARS, so now? It's MY TURN."