Saturday, March 14, 2009

And They're Off

Max sat in the seat that has the steering wheel. I was riding shot gun. Clint and Drew were in the backseat.

First we drove past a Used Car Sales Lot/Repo Yard that had a locked chain link fence and gate, complete with razor wire and an obligatory guard dog. (Who, by the way, was a fierce German Shepherd going crazy at the passing traffic.) According to my research on the internet, my new vehicle could be parked somewhere on that lot.

I'll go back tomorrow when it's daylight. I'll have my cellphone on.

Then we got stuck waiting for the train to finish crossing the road.

Then we went to the Mangolie Grill for supper. Drew was not on board for the dangerous and wild adventure of trying a new restaraunt, but after being ridiculed relentlessly by his older brothers (whose fulltime job it is to make fun of his insecurities) he sucked it up and had noodles with us.

Then we stopped in at Chapters, the happiest place on earth, where I bought them each a book. Except Drew. He didn't want one. He was going to listen to music on the plane. Not read. His choice.

Then we shopped at Shopper's so Max could get some deodorant and I could get the People Magazine and a chocolate bar. It's Friday night, OK?

Then we threw their suitcases and backpacks into the truck and drove to Mark's. Before they scrambled out, I asked them if I could pray for them and they were OK with that. So I did. And then they left.

I moved over to the driver's seat, pulled out of the driveway and told myself not to be stupid and cry. I blinked back tears and controlled my thoughts so's that they wouldn't go places that I didn't want them to. When I got back to my place I could see that Clint had left for the evening so I backed up and went to my local video store.

I got 4 movies.
Which is all good and fine. But really? Really I wish I was the parent that was taking my kids away on a Spring Break holiday. Really? I wish I was not coming home to an empty house. Really? I wish this monster pimple had not taken up residence on the left side of my nose. Really? Really? I HAVE to stop wearing bare feet in my work shoes because, honestly, I am gagging right now.

All the wishing isn't going to change anything.
And besides. When I make holiday plans, or dream of making holiday plans, I kinda pray about it first. And I know that this whole Spring Break thing isn't about me. I have this job where He comes first. His purposes are accomplished through our ministry. And He knew just exactly how much stuff was going to end up on my plate (or in this case, in my office) next week. If I HAD made out of town plans, I would have felt compelled to cancel them. Or else felt very guilty about going. So the brain part of me is accepting of the way things are, but the heart part...

The heart part aches for a holiday, a good holiday, with all my boys.

So, with a sad face I watched this:

and it made my dysfunctional family look like The Waltons.

Three things I'm thankful for:
1. I AM happy Max and Drew are getting to go on a great holiday. I AM happy for them. I AM.
2. I am thankful we had a pleasant two hours together.
3. I am thankful that my kids are loved.

4. I drove one of Drew's friends home from school on Thursday. He lives with his dad and sees his mom for supper on Tuesdays and one weekend a month. I would DIE. I am SO thankful I see mine every day.



Anonymous said...

unfortunately the pain never goes away, just have to keep giving it to God i guess. :(

Christine Lindsay said...

You're a lot more of the 'Waltons' than you realize.