Thursday, September 24, 2009

Me n Her

Amy and I are a few months apart in age.
She got married a few months before I did.
She had her first child a few months before I did.
And her marriage started to disintigrate a few months before mine did.
And we look alike too.
I can't remember the name of the album that she put out during her 'season of sadness', but when I read the lyrics, I felt as if she was speaking on my behalf. She knew. She knew exactly how it felt.
We were soul mates.
And then of course, we weren't.
Turns out she was the leaver and I was the leavee.
So, in essence, we were on opposite sides of the soul.
And isn't it interesting to note that it doesn't matter which side of the marriage break-up you're on, you both have the same feelings of loss and despair. The same song speaks to both your souls.
I didn't stop listening to her music, (like some people did. Like a WHOLE BUNCH of people did)but I did follow her love story pretty closely. (Because, remember? We were virtual twins on opposite sides of a broken heart.) Some of the stuff I read made me sad... because really? MARRIED MEN ARE OFF LIMITS.
Can we, as women of the world, agree on this? Can we swear an oath to our sisterhood? We will not flirt with married men. We will not become their best friends. We will not get our longing-to-be-adored needs met from a man who is married. We will not disrespect another woman in that way.
That said, it was clear that she found the man of her dreams in Vince. He sounds/seems/is awesome, loving, attentive, poetic, gentle, romantic and perfect if that's what you're looking for in a man. Their story reminds me of Johnny and June Cash, and you know how we all were rootin for them to get together by the end of the movie...
So, I bought this book the other night for $7.99 and read it in 3 hours. It was interesting. But not very enlightening. She gives a glimpse into her private life and shares openly about her professional life. For those of us born in the '60's, it brings back memories ...
Three things I'm thankful for:
1. A late afternoon nap in the sun. Seeing I finished Mosaic (last night at 2:30 am) I thought I'd get started on the new 800 page hard-cover Diana Gabaldon book on the lawn chair on my patio after work. It was heavy to hold. And I got sleepy. And the next thing I knew, it was 5:15 pm and I was crying.
I know!
I had fallen asleep and was dreaming. It was a short dream, of me, Max and Drew at the cabin, moving a plastic outside table to the side yard. We were being silly and at one point I slid off the table and on my way to the ground, I wrapped my arm around Drew's neck and pulled him along too. We ended up on the grass, laughing. And then Max was laughing too. And we couldn't stop laughing and could barely breathe and the sun was shining and we were happy and no one was mad at me for touching their neck or asking them to help move a table and I was totally filled with joy lying there on the grass with Drew beside me.
And then in real life I heard Max in the kitchen say to Drew, "No food ready for supper?" and in my dream I started to cry because I knew all the laughter was just fantasy because really? It's been years since the three of us have laughed.
And then I woke up, somewhat rested, and a little bit tanned and with an achy mouth from all the smiling and tears streaming down my cheeks from all the crying.
2. I'm thankful that James and Julia had their baby. It's a boy, named Micah William. YeeHaw -Val's a grandma.
3. Is thankful that she's going to see Casting Crowns on Sunday.


1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Thanks for your challenge for women not to flirt with married men. They do seem desirable because they are still with their wives. You just never know what stage they are at in their commitment level. . .and how it might one day affect the children and then future generations.

And you are miles above that "righteous fox" (as the Wittenberg Door magazine once described Amy Grant).

You offer quite the challenge Jane. You are a woman of courage. I admire you.