Sunday, January 31, 2010

And We're DONE.

Last question. Last day of month.
Coincidence? Or fabulous planning?
You decide.

In what area of my life do I most need to change and what will I do about it this year?

Where do I start?
I need to go to bed earlier? I need to change my sleeping habits?
I need to have a definite morning get-out-of-bed time? Regardless of what the plan for the day is?
I need to change my eating habits? And not eat after 7 pm regardless of how many times a week I meet someone in the evening for "coffee"?
I need to exercise more. More? Who am I kidding? I need to exercise, period.
I need to change my marital status? I should think about remarrying?

Mostly, though, I think I need to stop worrying.
Specifically, worrying and obsessing about things I have no control over.
I need to let God be God; turn more things over to Him and Let. It. Be.

How will I do this?
Obviously I will continue to pray endlessly about all the things that break my heart and fill my soul with tension. But I need a Plan to put into effect every time my mind gets frantic about the things I've prayed about. Plan.
Here I go again, thinking on your time.
Sorry bout that.
(Don't you like the new layout? I keep checking it a couple times an hour ...)
The word that keeps coming to mind is "accountability". I need to 'confess' to someone every time I worry? Does that seem right?
That idea makes me nervous.
Seriously. Who would want to listen to me carry on about the same old things?

Maybe I should 'chart' them? I remember taking a parenting class about 70 hundred years ago and one of the sessions was about changing a child's behaviour. We were to make a list of behaviours that needed adjusting and work on them ONE at a time. And in order to not be discouraged, we were to chart the improvement we were observing. If we didn't chart it, we wouldn't see the difference, and would think our efforts weren't making a difference.

For example, if the behaviour that needed changing in Bobby-Sue was "tattling", then you would make a plan to curb that behaviour and then keep track every day how often it happened. If, for example, the first day, she did it 17 times, and the next day it was 19 times and the third day it was 16, then 16, then 14, then 15, then 14... you have a small victory. But really? Unless you charted that, 14 could FEEL like 17, yes? But 14 is not 17, so you can do a happy dance and carry on for another week. And the second week it might be 14, 13, 15, 13, 12, 12, 11. And look at that! Again, 11 might feel like 14 but wow it sure is better than 17. The key is consistency til the tattling is gone.

So maybe I need to treat myself like a child and chart my worrying. How many minutes do I worry, every day? And can I get it to the point where I can say, like a friend of mine does, "I haven't worried in over two years. I simply leave it with the Lord and trust that His will will be done. He is good. That's all I need to know."


So. I went to church again tonight. And (oy, this is going to sound lame) I was looking forward to tonight's service all week. I could hardly wait for part two of the Joseph series. (Honestly. Who is excited about going to church to hear a sermon? I'm pretty sure I stand alone here.)

I was not disappointed.
I slipped into the 3rd from last row (gasp. Who's changing things up in her life?) and looked around at the packed auditorium singing a David Crowder tune and felt at peace. I didn't know another soul in the building but it didn't matter. I guess I'll get "community" from friends and family outside the church walls. I guess that's OK.

Actually I know it's OK. Know why? Because the last song we sang was Come Thou Font Of Every Blessing which I wrote about here.  And on Friday night Clint and I talked about God using the sinful actions of a sinful people for His purposes and guess what? THAT'S WHAT JEFF TALKED ABOUT THIS WEEK. It was awesome. I'll post a link on Tuesday.

Anyway, that's it for this month.
Thanks for visiting.

Three things I'm thankful for:
1. Northview Community Church
2. Ikea candles
3. Options


1 comment:

raych said...

Layout = sooooooooooooo pretty. I am jealous.