Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Marriage Advice

... from the comments section of Stuff Christians Like:

Tell your wife she looks good even when you're not thinking "hot" good. Tell her she looks good dressed up for church.

Here's my best piece of advice about How to Treat Husbands: 
A man's "language of love" is always physical. He might have others in addition to this, but of his Top 10, the first 5 are physical love. 
Ignore this advice at your own peril.

There are "good" items you own, and "bad/normal/everyday" items you own. Learn the difference between them quickly. i.e. Don't take the "good" spoon to work and leave it in your desk drawer for two months. Don't use the "good" towels to clean up cat vomit. This is a foreign concept to us guys.

Don't ever tell another woman in the presence of your husband that you are training him. As in: "I'm training him to take his cup to the sink." 

Never leave a container with less than 1 Tbl of stuff in the fridge, it is the equivalent to 1 square of TP, or gas tank running on fumes. Just don't do it. It's not worth the HOLY WAR I'll bring down on you....

When you actually do housework type things around the house, DON'T announce each one like you need a standing ovation. "I loaded the dishwasher". applause!! "I put jeans in the washer". applause! "I took out the trash." applause! If I did that, we would never talk about anything else. 

*Husbands, don't make pig noises while your wife is eating. It's NOT funny. Ever. 

Taking out the garbage, vacuuming the floor, cleaning out the cat boxes, putting up the hooks, raking up the leaves, cleaning out the storage room, replacing the fence are all better foreplay than anything else.

Sometimes she's gonna say some pretty mean stuff in the heat of the moment. Later, when she claims she never said the thing she said, thank your lucky stars. It means she doesn't really sit around all day plotting your death with untraceable household chemicals.  This is a good thing.

believe your wife when she says the baby is coming!!

Don't walk past the kitchen table, see the mess the kids left there and keep walking. And especially don't say, "I thought you were going to clean it up later."

If one spouse is busy and the other is not, ALWAYS say "What can I do to help you?" before turning on the t.v. or surfing the net, or checking e-mail. Always, always, always offer help first.

Good, solid advice, I'd say.

No comments: