On Sunday? When I planned on having all three boys over for dinner and no one showed up? Kinda sucked.
But then they all dropped in, randomly 'round midnight and I said to myself, "This isn't how I pictured Sunday dinner going down, but I'll take what I can get." Which is what Christmas looked like this year... a movie on the 22nd, then our gift exchange between midnight and 3 am on Christmas Eve. Again, not my Norman Rockwell fantasy Christmas, but it was way better than not celebrating at all.
I was planning on going to watch a friend's daughter sing at a coffee house, so I had no great plans for Drew and I for dinner. But when I pulled into the driveway just before 5 I saw Clint's truck in the driveway. My heart did a little happy dance, like it always does when one of the kids is home, and I quickly rethought my supper plans.
Max ended up coming and going most of the evening, and Clint, who's been battling insomnia, took a 4 hour nap while Drew, who is on the verge of getting a debilitating cold went back and forth between his bed and the couch all night.
While the kids watched the Canucks cream the Stars, I baked Chocolate Chip Cookies because that's what moms do. They ate half the dough raw, and the rest of the cookies got eaten warm from the oven. With milk. Because I want them to have memories of warm cookies and milk at my house. I don't have the latest toys. I don't have the newest gadgets. I don't have a hot tub, media room, exercise equipment, or tanning booth. But I do have homemade, warm from the oven, chocolate chip cookies and milk. And I am going to exploit them for my purposes. Because I'm shallow that way.
Speaking of Christmas (I kindof was, earlier) do you remember that acrylic box of questions I bought?
I totally wish we could talk about some of the responses in more detail.
We are interesting.
I don't know how it happened, but yesterday's question, (What was your favorite childhood meal?) and all the answers (from noodles n butter covered with a splash of tomato juice all the way to steak, mushrooms and baked potato) all disappeared. Sad, because everyone's answers were so different. So telling. So fascinating.
Maybe I'll post that question again.
And family? You know who you are. Next time we get together, I'm totally asking some questions. So get your answers ready... .
Would you rather be a great musician, artist or athlete?
What song evokes the strongest memories for you?
What do you think is the ideal age?
And it'll be OK, you'll see.
I don't think I disciplined my kids enough. You know, set boundaries. With consequences and stuff.
SO many verses about parenting.
If I had to do it all over again, I would be far stricter. I would worry less about their love for me and concentrate on raising them with a firmer hand. (The reality was, if they didn't like the way I was doing things, they could always leave. And, uh. I don't do well with O men leaving. So maybe I compromised. Yeah. OK. I compromised. "Just please love me" should not be a mother's cry.)
So reading those verses in Proverbs gave me a dull ache, like a tooth abscess. I wanted to just numb the pain and move on.
The verses about nagging wives and drippy faucets weren't fun to read either.
And that Proverbs 31 woman?
Good grief. Seriously.
I think, of that entire list of all she is and does, I am most inspired to: "be clothed in strength and dignity and laugh at the days to come."
Laugh at the days to come. Not fret about them. Not panic about RSP's. Not worry about health issues. Not worry about the Rapture. But laugh. With joy. About the days to come.
(Halee just messaged me from California. Her friend has that saying (she laughs at the days to come) on her arm. I should do that. Except not tattooed. Maybe painted. And not on my arm. But on my bedroom wall.)
I think the best part of Proverbs was all the talk on wisdom and friendship. I loved that.
Why is that? Do I feel more confident in my ability to be a friend than I do about my parenting? Oy.
I got a package from Amazon today.
Isn't that just the very best feeling?
I ordered 4 books, all for upcoming book club meetings and I keep looking at my stack of brand new books and I feel so rich and so lucky and so happy. I still have 4 unread books from my Chapter's shopping trip earlier this month AND my mom lent me 4 books as well.
I can hardly wait to get at em. Didn't happen tonight. The boys were here. And there were chocolate chip cookies to bake. And mom points to earn. And facebook messages to write and respond to. And events to plan because Spring is around the corner and this is a special year.
I am a firm believer in Birthday Weeks. Birthdays are too big to try to squeeze all yer celebrating into just one single day. So, for the average birthday - a whole week is necessary.
But this year I'm turning 50.
And seeing I'm not going to ever have a 50th wedding anniversary, this 50th birthday is going to be my biggest celebration... next to my funeral. Which has been planned. Not sure which year yet. :)
ANYways ... Fifffteeeeee.
Today's facebook status question was: Do you live more in the past, the present or the future?
And my answer?
I spend alot of time in the future. Not only worrying about it, but also planning for it. I love calendars, not to look back to what I did last month, but for the opportunities all those empty squares represent for fun things to do in the days to come.
I am an event planner. And life is an event.
Because I can easily obsess about the past/analyze it to death and because I naturally am inclined to dream/worry about the future, I use my camera to keep me focused on the present and appreciating the moment I am in.
I'd like to add that this blog also keeps me tethered to the here and now. It's where I pause to think about NOW. And what happened TODAY. And what the point of the last 24 hours was. And what I learned after being alive one more day. And what I'm thankful for, in light of the day that God made for me.
It's where I take the time to explore the emotions I rushed through while they were happening. If in fact, I had any.
Getting back to planning.
And my 50th.
It's going to be a great year.
Three things I'm thankful for:
1. Spontaneous sushi dinners and extra bodies in this house. Boy bodies. My boy's bodies.
3. Girls' Days at work... just me n Kayely n Denise at the office this week. GREAT discussion and prayer time at lunch today. Loud happy music playing. Space heaters everywhere. Love working with friends.