Monday, September 12, 2011

9 11

Three things I am thankful for:

1. I have the opportunity to pray for Nepal today.
2. Clint. He helped me pack up and move 22 boxes of books this afternoon. Then he cleaned out his old room... three bags of garbage. Plus one bag and box to Sally Ann. One bag to recycling.

Which has me thinking. I'd like to get rid of 20 bags in 20 days.
By Sept 30, this house will be 20 bags lighter.

Yes, yes, yes. I have bitten off a lot to chew this month.

3. Drew. He and I watched '102 Minutes That Changed the World' tonight. And talked through the program. He was too young (only 7) when 9-11 happended - so he doesn't have any clear memories of that day or the following days.

I remember.
I was 40, and navigating my way around single momdom. My kids were 14, 10 and 7 and we were living in Fraser Heights. Our church has closed down, Billie's was in the process of closing, and I felt so very alone. I drove the boys to school that morning, after watching the news, and felt empty and scared. While we were on the freeway, I had one of the boys call my dad and mom to tell them to turn their TV on. On my way home from dropping three kids off at three separate schools, Kevin (our old youth pastor) called to see how Drew was doing - he knew my youngest well - and was concerned about Drew's reaction to it all.

I think I sat on my couch and watched TV for three days straight, trying to understand what happened and how it was going to impact ME. I kept saying to myself - "Life will never be the same again." (Which, truth be told, I had been saying about other events, for the past two years.) It was a theme in my life at the time, and 9-11 seemed like One More Thing to push me out of the life I was comfortable in for my first 38 years of life.

Tonight, while Drew and I watched the towers fall and listen to the people of New York process what they were seeing, we realized how lucky we are. World War 3 could have erupted after such a blatant, aggressive act... and then where would we be? As it is, other than increased safety measures at airports, our lives haven't been disrupted too much. And our other observation? Which is what everyone in the States has been remembering annually for the past decade? Those firemen. And police officers. Who WENT INTO the building, doing their jobs. How scared were they? How their moms and wives and children must mourn them.

I was thinking about my 9 - 11 memories (how this was going to affect me. how I could help my kids process it) when Carson posted his 9-11 recollections on his blog.  Go ahead. Click on the link, read his post. It's a short one.

Did you read it?

There are days when I am grateful to be the leader of no one. Seriously. I sat by myself on my couch and not for one minute did I think I should go pray with people. Or go help somewhere. Or even send money.

I have to become more global in my thinking.

Maybe next month. This month is kinda full up.


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