Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Body in Paradise. Heart in Surrey.

I am in Palm Springs, where I have nothing but happy, happy memories.
As a teen, coming with my family.
As a young married, coming with our friends.
As a married-with-children woman, coming with our kids.
As a single mom, coming with my sons.
As a single mom, coming with friends and their kids.

I've been here at least twenty times in my life. And know what? This time? I am staying at the ritziest place ever. I've never done Palm Springs this way. It. Is. Awesome.

(These aren't my pics. I took them from the website.)

However, despite the perfect weather, the good company, the opulent accommodations, the riveting conversations, the fantastic food - my heart isn't here.

It's back at home, in Surrey.
My dad is fading.
He has been baffling the medical staff for weeks, and his actions this past weekend were especially difficult to diagnose.

When I last saw him on Saturday, he was sleeping. Deeply. They thought maybe it was a stroke, but changed their minds on Monday morning when he ripped out his I.V. got undressed and demanded his clothes so that he could go home. He was incredibly agitated so they called my mom to come calm him. Which happened as soon as she got to his room. He rested peacefully, then power-chatted for an hour, planning a party and listing things and people. When she left him, he was back in a deep sleep.

When Jule got there this morning, she couldn't wake him up. Apparently he had been unresponsive all night long, so they did another cat scan. (The one they did on Saturday night showed that his head was normal. No irregular activity.) He slept all afternoon while Mom sat with him. Jim was there for a few hours as well and he continued to sleep deeply.

They called her this evening to come back; the results of the cat scan were in and they wanted to talk to her.  It is confirmed, he's had a massive stroke and there's a huge blood clot located in a 'very bad spot' in his brain.  And then the doctor who read the scan results said, "I remember him from the last time he was here, years ago. He's a real fighter, isn't he? It's hard to make any predictions... but we'll keep him very comfortable for the next 24 hours and we'll talk again." While mom sat with him this evening, she called Jule. And when she put the phone up to dad's ear, he stirred and said, "Julie".

My ol man. I think about him all day long.
My body is here, next to the pool, on a lawn chair, soaking up the beautiful sun.
But my heart is in Surrey.
I pray continually, all day long. Praying for strength and peace for my mom. Wisdom for the doctors. And a freedom from fear/pain for my dad.

It was Mandi's birthday on Sunday

Bups and his Mandi

Three things I'm thankful for:
1. The opportunity to make this memory with Drew. It's the first time we've gone on a holiday with HIS friends. (Most of our vacations with friends involve my friends and their older kids. This trip is all about him.) Thanks family, for releasing me to be here. Thanks, Julie for being there for dad and mom this week. Thanks for loading mom up with home-cooked meals. Thanks Jim for sitting with dad. Thanks everyone else for covering us all in prayer.

2. My friends right here beside me who are being supportive and loving and very understanding. Both have lost a parent and I feel so blessed to be in their company right now.

3. My faith. And my dad's faith. And my mom's faith. And the incredible peace that comes from knowing who's hands my dad's life is in.

Shalom, friends. Peace be with you.

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