Friday, March 23, 2012

Dear God ...

Thanks, God, for choosing Pete Klassen to be my dad. How did I get to be so lucky? I have been loved well. He has been my biggest cheerleader, believing that I was smart, beautiful, and capable. He invested heavily in me - and showed me what unconditional love looks like here on earth. It is easy for me to believe in You, my loving Father in heaven, because I had a loving father on earth. Thank you for that gift.

Thank you for uniquely creating him to be exactly who he is... artistic, hardworking, loving, joy-filled, cheerful, unselfish, authentic, simple, kind-hearted (especially to the underdog), and forever positive.

God? I think his time on earth is almost up. Are you putting the final preparations onto his little corner of heaven? Is it fancy? He likes Victorian gingerbread, the more the better. You already know that. And he loves music. Mostly country and western - is Johnny Cash around? I think he'd love to meet with him. What's Omi been doing? Dad's missed her ... will they have a reunion? Is heaven like that? And his dad? He can't remember him - he was executed when dad was only two... will they know each other? Can they have a chat? I think dad would love that. How about Moses? People have been teasing dad that he looks like Moses (as if any of us has a clue what Moses looks like.) It would be cool if they could hang out. Is Jesus waiting for dad to come? Will they laugh together? Reminisce about old times when He had to intervene when dad did something dangerous/silly? Dad will be strong again in heaven, right? Healthy? Will he and Butch reconnect? Will his old friends be around to usher him in - or won't that matter? Once he arrives, will Your presence be more than enough?

Community and family are so important to dad.  He is an extrovert and he loves people. I think he'll love heaven; some of his favorite people are already there. Do You hug folks as they arrive? Or when dad gets there, will he, like fall at Your feet and worship you? Is that what usually happens? Or will he be laughing and running because he can? I think he's going to want to talk. And talk. And talk. His brain has been broken for so long, that he's been repeating himself over and over for years. He's going to want to catch up on sharing stories. You created him to be a story teller - will that change in heaven?

God? He doesn't want to die. Do you know why? Is there something You can do to bring him peace about this? You created him to be a fighter... goodness that man is strong-willed. And he has a will to live. That is inspiring to me, because often, I'm not a fighter. I retreat and let things be. Am I to learn something from him? I know that he is here by Your design, and for Your purposes. And I thank you for holding his life in Your hands. Your timing is perfect and we totally trust You to fulfill Your purposes for his life.

The confusing part for me right now, is how the doctors are looking to us to make decisions regarding his care. It's like they want us to decide how much longer he is to live. If we do this - then we can expect him to live this many days, and if we do that, he will live for that many days. This is not sitting well with us. At all.

God, we release him totally into Your divine care and trust in Your perfect timing. Please fill us with Your  complete peace and lift this responsibility from us. We will fight to keep him comfortable, we trust You to handle everything else.

In Jesus' precious name I pray,


Tricia said...

I read this and cried, cried ,cried. I watched my dad die and fight it to the's so hard. I'm praying for you friend.

My Thots said...

Amen! Praying right along with you your exact thoughts and prayers. May you all feel God's presence and peace today.
Sending you hugs..

Anonymous said...

Oh Jane, you are so inredibly gifted in how you put your thoughts and prays down. This was a beautiful tribute to an amazing Dad and I have tears running down my face. Still Praying as always.
Love Marj