Sunday, May 6, 2012

On My Mind. Three Things.

First thing.
I just have no peace about my dad's living situation.
I know he's not the type of resident most care homes are set up for. (Especially this brand new one. His room has no lift in it. They have no way of getting him to the bathroom. Or getting him into his wheel chair.) I know his care needs are excessive. He has both diminished mental capacity plus he's physically disabled. And he's a man. These sweet little nurses (2 nurses per 21 residents) can't lift or move him. It's easiest for everyone if he'd just stay in bed. Wear his diaper. And sleep.

My dad is not that guy.
Last night, he kept falling out of bed. And it's not because he was asleep and rolled over. He didn't sleep. He kept trying to get up, to go to the bathroom.

His brain/habit says, 'Hey Pete, You have to go pee.' So he struggles to get out of bed. His brain doesn't remember that his legs don't work. So he falls.

It is sad and tragic and awful and he keeps doing it all day long and all night long.

Mom, Jule and I sit beside his bed, and remind him, hour after hour, that he can't get up. He looks at us and says, "I have to go pee." He just doesn't understand. It friggin breaks my heart. Honest. This is killin us.

They've given him a different bed for tonight. One that lowers right down to the floor. Short of strapping him in for the night, there's nothing they can do. They don't have enough staff to have someone sit in his room all night long to remind him that he can't get up. So they will lower his bed, and when they notice that he has fallen out, they'll try to get him back in.

This. Is. So. Hard.

Second thing.

Northview's sermon series for the next month is: The Birds, Bees and Bible. It's a series of PG13 sex talks.

Yeaaah. A little non-applicable to me. But so very good.
This week?
The Four Characteristics of the Sexually Immoral:
1. They visit dangerous places at dangerous times.
"Life is hard. It's harder if you're stupid." Don't be stupid about how you spend your time. Are you putting yourself at risk? What safeguards can you put in place?
2. They invite sexual attention.
(Don't even get me started on girls dressing immodestly. Seriously. Girls? If you want him to talk to you, don't show him your boobs.)
3. They view their faith as an obligation.
 ... go to church on Sundays and still be sexually immoral the rest of the week. No Big Deal.
4. They believe there are no consequences for their acts.

And then he quoted Naomi Wolf ,"The Porn Myth":
Today, real naked women are just bad porn.

The whole world, post-Internet, has become pornographized. Young men and women are being taught what sex is, how it looks, what its etiquette and expectations are, by pornographic training—and this is having a huge effect on how they interact.

The effect is not making men into raving beasts. On the contrary: The onslaught of porn is responsible for deadening male libido in relation to real women, and leading men to see fewer and fewer women as “porn-worthy.” Far from having to fend off porn-crazed young men, young women are worrying that as mere flesh and blood, they can scarcely get, let alone hold, their attention.

The young women who talk to me on campuses about the effect of pornography on their intimate lives speak of feeling that they can never measure up, that they can never ask for what they want; and that if they do not offer what porn offers, they cannot expect to hold a guy. The young men talk about what it is like to grow up learning about sex from porn, and how it is not helpful to them in trying to figure out how to be with a real woman. Mostly, when I ask about loneliness, a deep, sad silence descends on audiences of young men and young women alike. They know they are lonely together, even when conjoined, and that this imagery is a big part of that loneliness. What they don’t know is how to get out, how to find each other again erotically, face-to-face.

I highly recommend coming to church for this series.

The third thing.

I am going away for 3 full days next week, to hear from God.
Anyone have any ideas on that?
How I should prepare?
Anyone ever done this before? How'd it go?
I'm open to suggestions.

Three things I'm thankful for:
1. Late night chats with Clint. This was his status as we were instant messaging at 4:17 am:
"I like the dark part of the night, after midnight and before four-thirty, when it’s hollow, when ceilings are harder and farther away. Then I can breathe, and can think while others are sleeping, in a way can stop time, can have it so—this has always been my dream—so that while everyone else is frozen, I can work busily about them, doing whatever it is that needs to be done, like the elves who make the shoes while the children sleep. "

He is quoting Dave Eggars.

2. That Jessica is getting better. Yay God.

3. That dad's life is in God's hands.


1 comment:

Anonymous said...

"Thy word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path."

"My soul is weary, strengthen me according to Your word."

"Your word have I hid in my heart, that I might not sin against You."

Blessings on you as you obediently move forward! He will show up, He always does, but absolutely never like we think He will! It's always way better and funner! (I know, it's not a word, but it should be!)