Friday, September 7, 2012

Currently. September edition.

Things I am:

Obsessing over,
Working on,
Thinking about,
Listening to,
Praying for,
Happy about,

 1. Obsessing over-

  • My house. All I see these days are it's imperfections. It cannot get clean enough. Or new enough. 
  • Weeds. I hate them that they grow, stubbornly, so close to the ground. And the only real way to deal with them is to crouch, squat, bend over, or kneel. And sweat. NONE OF THESE THINGS IS FUN TO DO, FULLY DRESSED, IN THE FRONT YARD, WHERE NEIGHBOURS CAN WATCH,  PEOPLE. 

2. Working on - 
  • Revising my resume so that I appear more creative and less lame.
  • Changing my attitude about weeds. 

3. Thinking about - 
  • The upcoming fall season. And how that will impact my wardrobe choices. I probably can't keep wearing my bathing suit under a sun dress. 
  • This statement: “The deepest ache of the soul is the spiritual longing for connection and belonging.  No one was created for isolation…We seek bridges from our isolation through people, possessions and accomplishments.  But none of these are ever quite capable of satisfying the restlessness of the human heart.  To be human is to have been designed for intimate relationship with the Divine.”
    And this thought: “Take a moment and try this.  The results will tell you a great deal about the nature of your spiritual journey.  Imagine God thinking about you.  What do you assume God feels when you come to mind.”
4. Anticipating - 
  • FINALLY closing my insurance claims. This process took far longer than expected.
  • FINALLY being able to drive my Escape again. I've owned it for two months and have been the principle driver for less than three weeks. Any day now, Drew should have a vehicle on the road, and I can get behind the wheel of my truck again.
  • Going to the Fringe Festival. 
  • A funeral and two births this month.
  • Celebrating T's 50th birthday.
  • Book Club is starting up again.
  • A reading/writing retreat.
5. Listening to - 
  • I WISH I could say I was listening to all the music I downloaded onto my computer this summer, but I'm not. I'm listening to my washing machine wash. And my dryer dry. 
  • And Sadie, the barking dog, bark. And Sadie's parents yelling "Stop barking, Sadie."
  • Big fat moths, and stupid bees crashing into my sliding door. 
  • Glade's automatic room freshner popping out a spray of "Fresh Outdoors".
  • The toilet in the mainfloor's bathroom's tank refilling. What's that about? Do I need a plumber to look at it?
  • Man it's noisy here today.
6. Eating - 
  • My mouth? Is EMPTY! I? Am not eating. We should celebrate. Cupcakes for everyone. 
  • Hungry for chili though. But I'm not cooking another thing in my clean kitchen until this house sells. 
7. Praying for - 
  • Students and teachers who are all back to school this week. 
  • My house. This is going to sound silly, but this weekend? When I had HAD IT with everything related to these four(teenhundred) walls and roof? I stood in my cavernous front entrance and with arms outstretched, reaching for the heavens, in a loud and authorative voice, channelling any pentacostal genes that might be swimming around in my hormone pool, and probably looking like an overweight, younger, female version of Gandolf on that bridge, and proclaimed, "ENOUGH. In the power of Jesus's name I say to mould, mildew, critters, cracks, moisture, mayhem, rot, rust, dust, debris, thieves and thugs - YOU SHALL NOT PASS. You are not welcome; there is NO PLACE FOR YOU IN THIS HOME." And then I walked around, touching door jams and window openings, praying against evil from entering this place. No doubt I used the wrong words and could've called on the powers of heaven better, but I'm counting on that Holy Spirit to clean things up for me; you know, to make my groanings acceptable. 

8. I am reading - 
  • UGH. If you're reading the One Year Bible, then you too, have started the Song of Solomon today. I might just have to skip this. All the kissing and delighting and grazing and tasting and embracing and dripping. (The other day the kids were talking about an article regarding circumcised penises and I said, "Yeah, that's another reason I'm afraid to get married. I only know circumcised ones." Dead silence. Two got up and left the room. Clint said, "WAYYY too much information, mom." "What? That I've only slept with one man?" "No. That you've had sex.")
  • Also reading Shades of Grey. HAHAHAHAHA. So not. WHY would I do that to myself?
  • I am trying to get through Bonhoeffer's bio, Ravi Zacharias's autobio, Jenny Lawson's memoir and Cloud Atlas (so I can say, at the theatre, "The books better"). 

9. Happy about - 
  • A Christmas present that I've already ordered/mom has already paid for. Hurry up, Dec 25. I want to play with my new toy. Oh right. Christmas isn't about presents. Thank you Jesus for being born. Can I have my new lens now?
  • I managed to stop biting my nails.
  • Checking twelve things off my list this afternoon.    
  • Coffee on the patio (well, OK, she had a green tea sludge and I had ice water) tonight with a friend at Wendell's. Together we declared, while it is STILL technically summer - AND TWO SEASONS AWAY - that we can barely handle winter. I am happy not to be alone in this. (In my family I'm a minority as my kids LONG for winter. To snowboard.)      
10. Wishing - 
  • It would stay sunny til I get a job. Then I don't care after that. 
  • Wishing I could get a job without applying. 
Three FIVE things I'm thankful for:

1. Another showing today. As long as there's interest, there's hope.
2. Did not see a spider today.
3. Did not see a rat today either, for that matter.
4. Hope. Grace.
5. Creativity. Textures. Colors. 



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