I was at that place where I had peace/maybe a little excitement at the thought of finishing off a suite for myself in the basement of my mom's place.
It's a walk-out basement space that has an entire wall of oversized windows overlooking a spacious backyard that backs onto green space which extends all the way down to the river. So its private is what I'm saying.
There is a 600 square foot covered patio that is also private.
Plus a concrete bunker under the garage that is perfect for extra storage.
I was imaging hardwood flooring, maple cabinets, granite countertops, lots and lots of natural light and All My Things (which have been in storage since June). (It wasn't until recently that I realized how much I miss my stuff.)
Anyway, just like I did almost one year ago (when I was not getting hired despite herculean efforts), I prayed. (Back then I wondered if God wanted me to continue caring for my dad 4 hours a day, 5 days a week. Was that His plan? Was that why I wasn't getting hired anywhere? Instead of looking for a career to support myself, was I supposed to find part time work and continue my schedule of spending hours a day at Kinsmen Lodge? If that was what He wanted then I'd have to figure out a way to make some money... so I thought I'd up my photography game and start 'selling' photo shoots. I prepared a website, made up a pricing chart and prayed - "God, unless You have a different plan in mind for me, I will move ahead with this photography idea. It's the only way I can think of to make money. My EI benefits end this month, and despite all the interviews and all the applications, I am not employed. So. Let me know."
The next day Focus called. And on my last day of EI benefits, I started working fulltime. So. I knew. God was not calling me to be a photographer. Or a steady parttime care-giver for my dad. He had something else in mind for me and my gifts.)
Like I was saying, this past weekend, as I was visualizing my furniture in the basement and deciding on whether I wanted an island or a peninsula bar in the kitchen, I prayed. "God, I'm going to move forward with the plan to convert this space into a suite for myself. If this isn't what You were thinking, please let me know."
I met with my brother (he and my dad built this house. He's a contractor.) and we talked through my idea. After an hour of looking at layouts, talking about materials, considering building codes, realizing limitations, allowing for resale considerations, we concluded it wasn't a viable option.
I got my answer.
There is always emotion involved when one gets an answer from God, no?
I mean, generally speaking, one doesn't bug God with meaningless requests, right? If you're going to bother the Creator of the Universe for some assistance, it's going to be about something big, ye ken? Like, a job, or health/healing, or a boyfriend, or housing or salvation for your kids...
But I didn't have time to ponder the implications of this revelation as my book club was on their way over. Unexpectedly. Our meeting location needed to be adjusted at the last minute and seeing I live in a house that's always clean, having everyone come here wasn't a big deal.
We had a lengthy discussion about this:
... which isn't a perfect book, but it did have chapters that were Very Inspiring. Despite it's faults, I still recommend it. Some folks just live big lives.
And it's fascinating to read other people's stories, no?
And then when everyone left, my mom wanted to watch another 4 episodes of Friday Night Lights, which OK, yes, so did I. And thus ended season 1.
I fell into bed at 2 with a screamin headache.
And woke up 6 hours later with that very same headache.
(I've started my last 4 sentences with the word "and". How's that for creative writing?)
Seeing as I haven't experienced anything new for awhile, it was time to push back the brick walls of my comfort zone again. I was politely invited to join a group of mid-20-year-olds for an hour of Bingo, then dinner at a local pub. I never know if I should accept invites like this. I mean, it was probably them just being nice to an old lady. But maybe they are OK if I go? Anyway, armed with my lingering headache and accompanied by my ever present doubts, I went, regardless of my fears.
Can we talk for a sec about Bingo Halls?
1. At 5:30 pm on Tuesdays the only occupants are single, out-of-shape, over-50-years-old, women.
2. These are my people. I could fit right in. I am one bingo game away from becoming a stereo-type.
3. You CAN play with bingo cards and colorful daubers, but almost all players use the screens and play electronically. There are 3 - 6 cards on the monitor and as the numbers are called out, squares are automatically filled in. You could go outside and grab a smoke and your numbers will still get played. Jus sayin.
4. Once you buy in ($5 for a whole night's gaming) you can't leave before 9:30 pm. It's called 'lock down', just like Hotel California.
5. We deliberated for half and hour and then decided to skip the Bingo and go straight to the Pub.
Can we talk about Pubs?
1. I don't drink coffee but spend a good deal of time in coffee shops.
2. I don't drink alcohol either, and in the past 15 years (since being divorced), I've spent 500% more time in pubs than I did during the 15 years of my marriage.
3. Pubs are noisier than coffee shops. So it's very hard to have good conversations. Oh. Conversations aren't the point?
4. But there are lots of TV screens, so watching the Canucks win is easy, regardless of which way one's head is turned.
5. Pub food is good.
6. I don't think I want to be raptured from a pub.
Anyway. It's now almost 2 am, and I'm thinking about my housing needs. Plans A, B, and C have not worked out. One of these days I'll figure it out I guess. In the meantime, my stuff is still scattered hither and yon and I'll continue to sleep in the basement.
It's always a bit of a let-down when plans don't come to fruition. (I mean, come on - I just ate my body weight in chocolate this past hour.) But I'm determined to stay positive despite the fact that November is looming and traditionally I don't handle this eleventh month very well. I'm going to hang onto Jer 29:11. He has a plan, and it's a good one. Plus I'll stock up on the Halloween version of creme eggs. I think they were created Just For Me.
Just watch me breeze through these last two months of 2013.
Three things I'm thankful for:
1. A no is a no, so there's no more wondering. Which is always a good thing.
2. New experiences that don't turn out to be terrible.
3. Turkey leftovers. JUST finished my 8th consecutive day of ingesting some sort of turkey meal.
By the way, I kinda want to try an evening of Bingo playing. Anyone want to meet me there? We wouldn't have to wear makeup or fitted clothes. Slippers would probably be acceptable footwear.