While I was reading a book at the lake on Sunday, I found this pic that I had been using as a book mark. I photographed it with my phone and decided not to share it until Thursday.
(Haha. Most popular pic I've ever posted on facebook.)
I look at this photo and I totally remember the day and the emotions.
It was summer.
My first summer 'alone'.
1999.
Kids wanted to sit inside in front of a screen (TV probably, at this point) and I cruelly forced them to join me in doing a touristy thing. They resisted. With much energy.
They were still young enough, that I had some control, so I forced everyone into the Intrepid and off we went. To Capilano Suspension Bridge. With them bitchin the whole way.
Once we got there, though? And it didn't suck as bad as they assumed it would? Everyone smiled. Attitudes changed. We had fun. And I knew I had to capture our joy. So I set up my film camera on a tree stump, set the timer, ran back to the railing, and smiled. I was a mom. And these were my boys.
It was a feeling of triumph for me.
I could do this single parenting gig.
The kids did listen to me.
I did have good ideas.
We were going to be fine.
God help me, I was going to get these boys to adulthood with a minimal amount of drama. I just needed to follow my instincts and keep on doing what I was doing. (Which was alot of praying and forcing them to Walk Away from the Screens.)
(Haha. At this point? In 1999. I fully expected to get married again. I believed God had someone in mind who could love a 38 year old divorcee and her three brown-eyed boys. I didn't think I'd be raising them alone.)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Oh, poor dumb Jane-from-the-past. She had no idea what was right around the corner.
Clueless broad. Nothing prepared her for those teenaged years.
Or those even-scarier young adult years.
(And, as it turns out, God didn't have anyone in mind. His plan was for her to do the parenting gig on her own. And lean on Him.)
What a mess.
Looking at this photo, I see nothing but innocence and hope.
It is such a good thing we don't know what the future holds.
If we were to do a re-enactment of this picture? Now? Fifteen years later?
Hahaha. Goodness. The battle scars on my face. And the total loss of innocence.
These boys? Have introduced me to a world previously not visited.
Looking forward to seeing how God will use all these experiences for good ...
:)
Three things I'm thankful for:
1. Throwback Thursdays
2. Good memories
3. 5:30 pm naps on the deck. In my bathing suit. With the sun perfectly positioned for maximum exposure.
4. A visit with my dad. Who looks a little weird without his moustache. (New, non-English speaking care aid, couldn't read the sign that said DO NOT SHAVE MR. KLASSEN'S MOUSTACHE and merrily shaved it off. Grrr.) His most repeated topic of conversation tonight? That time he put me on his shoulders at the Abbotsford Air Show and climbed a ladder to the top of an airplane hangar. And got beat up by a number of policemen, then arrested and thrown in jail for doing so. (I was four years old and watched. Then ran through the crowds to find my mom to tell her.) He remembers mom and his buddy Butch getting him out the next day. Oh dad. Life with you should have prepared me better for life with Clint, Max and Drew.
5. Late night walk around the neighbourhood. It smelt divine. The moon and stars were out. The street lamps were on. And the air was the perfect temperature. I LOVE SUMMER.
Shalom,
xo
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