In the end was perfectly good.
But the getting ready and the driving in to Vancouver?
Leaves me too much time to talk to myself. About myself.
Typical insecurities. Who would I sit with, talk to, talk about, dance with, kiss?
Heather's friend, Nancy, (the generous one who lent me her pink sari/suit) asked me, just as I was leaving her place on Thursday night, if this wedding was a multi-day event. I said that yes it was. She asked if I had anything appropriate to wear to the reception on Saturday night. I shrugged my shoulders... Saturday was a full 48 hours away. I'd worry about Saturday's clothes on Saturday.
"Would you like to borrow another outfit?"
"I have a perfect dress for you, and I think it'll fit you just fine...
We walked into her closet and she handed me a dress that was hung inside a Macy's bag.
"Try it on," she suggested as she lay it on the bed and walked out of the room.
I pulled the bag off, and saw a long black evening gown covered in sequence and sparkles. With flowy fabric and stetchy material.
I picked it up and it was heavy. I've never owned a dress with so much weight.
I slipped it over my head and it fell to floor beautifully, all swishy-like.
There was no mirror in her bedroom, so I walked out into the hallway where she has mirrored closet doors. They were both waiting for me. "OOooohhhhh" they both sighed.
I looked in the mirror and started to cry.
The dress was stunning.
And it did fit.
And I couldn't believe Nancy's generosity in allowing me to borrow it. This? Was a wonderful, meaningful garment for her. Probably bloody expensive. And she doesn't even know me. And she offered me the use of this magical piece of fabric because she knows.
She's single too.
She probably has a servicable wardrobe of regular clothes just like me.
And she guessed that I would never buy myself a dress with sparkles.
So she offered me the gift of 'feeling like cinderella' for an evening.
I gave her a hug.
Heather looked shocked.
"Uh, she doesn't usually do that," Heather informed Nancy.
"Yeah, I don't..." I affirmed. "Are you sure you're OK with this? Because, wow...."
She was sure.
And I was grateful.
Later that evening I thanked Heather again, for being instrumental in getting me clothes for the weekend, and she said, "I love the way women love each other."
I am the lucky recipient of so much woman-love.
So I've got this pretty dress, and the only thing on my mind is I wish my boys could see me in it.
I really don't care about anyone else's opinion.
Do women (or men for that matter) dress for themselves? Or for the ones they love? If you make a great effort on yourself, who do you hope notices? The whole world? Everyone at the event? Certain people at that event? Or your date?
I didn't have a +1. And didn't think, other than the bride's family, that I'd know anyone at the reception. And really, I wasn't dressing for anyone. I just wanted to be appropriately groomed so I didn't stand out as being disrespectful to the occasion by being poorly dressed.
Turns out, I was probably sparklier than necessary, but it didn't matter. Those Indian outfits out-shone everything in the room. It was a room filled to overflowing with beauty.
Know what I LOVED about the wedding and reception?
Was the deep respect both families showed for each other's totally foreign-to-them cultures.
And the love; the rich, unconditional, parental love that each set of parents expressed towards their new in-law child.
Here are some pics from last night.
We (450 of us) met at the Fraserview Hall. The doors opened at 7. We found tables (no table charts) and sat down to platefuls of Indian appy's and conversation while a live band played background music.
At 8, Mr. And Mrs. Gary and Joy Sodhi arrived and were introduced.
And the first order of business was the cutting of the cake.
This is how things are traditionally done, so I just sat back and enjoyed the program.
The MC's (Joy's sister-in-law, and Gary's brother) kept us informed all evening long, as to what the order of events was going to be. We were very informed.
That done, they moved onto the stage and sat behind a plexi-glass table ...
The lights were lowered and a video of Friday's events (getting ready, ceremony, tea at the richardsons, photos at the park) was shown on half-a-dozen big screens throughout the hall.
(That phrase will resurface often in this post...)
All immediate and extended family members (siblings, parents, aunts, uncles and cousins) were introduced and asked to stand next to their tables. Paul was the only one sitting near me, so his is the only photo I took. But you get the idea.
Claire had prepared a video tribute to Joy as part of her speech. Twas touching and emotional and wonderful.
Then Gary's friends had a go at honoring their friend:
Rob and Maureen reminisced about the past 48 hours (2 weddings! A Sihk one of Friday. A Christian one on Saturday), plus the previous 11 months (all three kids got married!), and they welcomed with open arms and open hearts Gary into their family.
Gary's mom and dad did the same.
It was awesome to hear them share their love for their new daughter-in-law so glowingly.
Some cousins made a presentation, an auntie recalled her impressions of the first Canadian Christian fairy-tale wedding ceremony she'd attended the day before, then Gary and Joy share the mic.
Then Gary and Joy's first dance:
And then, after we ate dinner, everyone danced.
Like Cinderella in her borrowed dress, I left the ball at midnight.
All three kids were online once I got settled in my bed with my laptop.
So we chatted for an hour or so while I downloaded photos.
Every so often I'd post one for them, so they'd know what I was referring to.
Just before I signed off, I posted these three pics, along with the words, "This is what I wore. Twas a borrowed dress. I felt all fancy for the first time in forever."
Two of them responded within zero seconds with, "Wow mom you look great." and "Mom. You look awesome."
So very sweet of them.
And really unexpected. Because they've never commented on my appearance before. (Other than Max telling me I looked 'like a normal mom'.)
My eyes just overflowed. There's was the only opinion I cared about. And they said nice things.
So I signed off and called it a day.
A very successful one. But exhausting x 1000.
Three things I'm thankful for:
1. Pushes outside my comfort zone that push and pull me.
2. Invitations from sons to join them at church.
3. Movies nights:
Friday night: Jurassic World
Sunday night: What We Did on Our Holiday
Loved them both. But maybe the British one a little bit more.