Wednesday, June 5, 2019

May 2019 - Mother's Day

Last weekend was Mother's Day. The kids and I had dinner together at the lake on Saturday evening, at 8:30 pm. I set the table, and then didn't take any more pics. Imagine, tho, my kids on the chairs and a salad, scalloped potatoes, broccoli, cauliflower, and a ham on the table. Imagine the birdsong. The warm air. The night sky settling in. Imagine my heart being all full and fuzzy. Imagine the conversation. Haha. Well, I doubt you can imagine the conversation. 

And then...

Then we went inside Drew and Dani gave me a gift :

and Max pulled out a game he'd bought:

... and patiently taught us how to play. 
It was taking me f o r e v e r to get the gist of it.

I randomly was dealt these three cards, (a bad-ass bandanna, a really impressive title, and pantyhose of giant strength) which went a long way ...

.... in the final results. 

I won. 

(Could've been those cards. Could've been my superior game playing skills. Could've been my kids' gift to me  - a Mother's Day win.)


I woke up on Sunday morning to the smell of bacon frying and coffee dripping. Dani was making brunch.  

These are the days. 

These are the days that you dream of when you're knee deep in diaper shit and haven't slept for more than a couple hours at a time for months on end. These are the days you wonder about when the teen years go sideways and you're afraid you've screwed everything beyond repair. These are the days you aim for when they're all grown up, working in different cities, living lives that look unlike anything you're familiar with. These are the days you've prayed about, longed for, hoped for, dreamed of.

Hang in there, momma, if your days seem endlessly long, if your Mother's Day was disappointing, if it feels like you'll never be thanked for your sacrifices. Don't give up girlfriend. You're just in the middle of a crappy chapter in your parenting story; the next bit hasn't been written yet. 


I took my mom out on Tuesday night. Wendells. In Fort Langley. So we could eat, talk, buy books, and drive around catching Pokemon. 

When I was 12 or 13, deep in the throes of puberty, I had this fear that I wouldn't be a good mom. My mom made it seem so effortless, but I knew it must be tricky, so before I even had a boyfriend, even before I finished elementary school,  I was fretting about my ability to raise a baby to adulthood. I remember sobbing my guts out in the back hallway to my bedroom, UNDONE with angst over my future children. I was drama-queening away, flat out on the floor, convinced I would be a failure when my mom found me. 

She patiently assured me that parenting was No Big Deal. She said something like, "you just love them and everything will be OK". 

My mom, though a God-fearing, Jesus-loving, Bible-reading, church-going Mennonite through and through, wasn't typical. She bought canned peas, Oreos and Kraft jam. Our garden consisted of terracotta planters with geraniums and lobelia. We bought our bread from a bakery, had a cleaning lady and my Omi did our ironing/clothes mending. She had false eyelashes, mini skirts, white gogo boots and push up bras. She didn't make her bed every day, and certainly didn't care if we did. She was a competitive, passionate volleyball, canasta and double solitaire player. And I grew up with a mom who worked outside the home because she wanted to. 

What did I learn from her? 
  • it's never too late to begin. She was 42 when she became a Realtor. And 47 when she opened Billies.
  • believe that God is working all things for good.
  • it's OK to spend money on 'pretty'. Not everything needs to be functional. Surround yourself with collections and items that make you smile. 
  • putting on make-up every morning is non-negotiable. 
  • the higher the better. In terms of hair. 
  • eating in restaurants is not just for special occasions. 
  • a vow is forever. Some things are for better and some are for worse. 
  • 12 year olds can cook meals, clean the house and do laundry.
  • chocolate bars taste better frozen.
  • not being a morning person is A-OK. 

Thanks, mom, for letting me take over your basement/half of your garage/the room above the garage ...
I get to live this awesome life because of your generosity and kindness. Praying for you daily; hoping the summer weather is easy on your joints, and trusting that this coming year will be filled with good books, great conversations, delicious meals, laughter with friends, celebrations with family, and a deep sense of peace that comes from knowing you are loved. You've raised us well - thank you.


Three things I'm thankful for:

1. Card games
2. Memories
3. Moms


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