Tuesday, February 18, 2020


I just dropped a ceramic salt shaker. On the floor. It's very broken.

Fragile things have slipped through my (apparently, undependable) hands more often in the past 30 days than they have in the past 30 years. Don't ask me to hold your Faberge' Egg or carry your grandbaby.


As mentioned in THIS POST, I started weaning myself off Effexor  (an anti-depressant drug used to help breast cancer patients deal with those award-winning hot flashes that are inevitable side effects of that estrogen blocking drug, Tamoxifen) at the end of January. My oncologist, who originally prescribed the drug, told me to see my GP so he could monitor my withdrawal symptoms.

Today was that day.
The day I (finally) could see my regular doctor.

Him: SO! How are you doing!

Me: WAY better now that I'm weaning myself off Effexor...

Him: You were on a low dosage for hot flashes?

Me: Yes. BUT HOLY HELL, it ruined me. I couldn't think. Or focus. Or feel. Or make decisions. Or read. Or stay awake. Or care. Or stop yawning. Or carry things. Or deal with emails. Or make supper. Or remember what day it was. Or...

Him: Whoa. That's an extreme reaction to a low dosage.

I handed him my pill bottle.

Him: WHAT? NO WONDER! She prescribed 150 mg per day? Is that what you were taking?

Me: Yes.

Him: For HOT FLASH MAINTENANCE, you should have only been taking 37.5 mg per day. Or every other day...

He stopped typing and looked at me: You must've felt like you were being poisoned. Why would she prescribe the maximum amount? Were you depressed? Did she think you were depressed?

Me: I guess maybe she interpreted me saying that "I always get the November Blues and December is an exhausting month" as depression?

Him: She must have. How long were you on it?

Me: The longest, darkest month of my life. And then I started cutting back because I was unemployable. And inhuman. And I started watching shows like The Computer Who Wore Tennis Shoes.

Him: Right. OK then. Let's sort this out.


I am being sorted.
New prescription is for 37.5 mg tablets that I can take EVERY OTHER DAY. (This is the very definition of LOW DOSAGE.)

My brain should resume it's usual dependable level of activity by the end of the month and my body should not ignite into flames every 30 minutes.


Today was my first day 'back to work' as well.
4 hour shift.
Working from home. (Two hours from my bed. Two hours from the dining room table.)
My (overly ambitious, as it turns out) goal was to read/delete/file/respond to the 2716 emails in my inbox.

After 4 hours I still have 1186 to go.

This may not be my most productive week.


Three things I'm thankful for:


2. Slow 'n easy entry back into my work environment, just like starting Kindergarten.

3. The team at work that so very capably handled everything while I was away for two months. (TWO MONTHS!) Time has just zipped by so very fast.


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