Wednesday, May 20, 2020

It's May.

If things had gone as planned, (hahahaha) the Obros would have gotten on a plane this afternoon, and returned home from Rome. Dani and I would be on an island in Greece, getting ready to spend the week exploring, suntanning, reading, and watching world-famous sunsets.

Instead, we all ended up at Cultus on this rainy Maylong; with them playing hours and hours of video games, while I made lists. This is who we are when we're happy. It's not so bad.

( ^ Written on Sunday, May 17)
(Trying again, it's now Wednesday May 20)

I thought I'd be way better at blogging during this unique time in history.
Turns out I'm just as inconsistent as ever.

Covid-19 sure didn't change my sporadic blogging habits, my out-of-control eating habits, my stay-up-way-too-late habits, my I-hate-doing-floor-exercise habits and my spending-way-too-much-time-scrolling-through-social-media-sites habits.

I also thought I'd emerge (from this pandemic) a different person. I assumed the events of the past 12 months (cancer and covid) would change me. I'd be a better person. A wiser, more-compassionate, thinner, funnier, more-rested, better-organized, peace-filled woman.

I'm the same as I always was. Maybe a bit moreso.

Oh well.

Say La Vee
What will be will be.


I've been keeping these questions, (below) in the back of mind during March and April (and May) (and June?).
It's a helpful list to keep me from thinking about things that just aren't important right now.

This is a good list too.

(I really love a good checklist.)

So. Anyway, looking back at the month of May

It had a bit of a rough start for me:

  • A friend's mom died (after a 15 year journey with Alzheimer's).
  • A friend's sister-in-law died (of cancer. Started in the breast and spread.)
  • A friend found out the mass near her intestines was cancerous. 
  • A friend found out that the cancer in her breast had spread to her lymphnodes. 
All four of these ^ happened within 24 hours and a heavy grey cloud just descended on me. Figuratively and literally. 

I needed to see a doctor. 
My brain knew that my cancer-boob was fine. But my body was giving me mixed signals. What did that sharp pain mean? That dull ache? IS THAT ANOTHER LUMP? Why does my armpit feel weird? Why is this part so very tender? Is this thing, over here, normal? Is it supposed to look like this? 

Originally I had an appointment to meet with the radiologist for my final all-is-well appointment in late March. That was cancelled. THANK YOU COVID. (Jerk) So we talked on the phone and she recommended I see my GP for a physical exam. "Someone should examine your breast, but it can't be me."

So I made an appointment to have my GP feel me in April. But he closed his office in April, (THANKS AGAIN, COVID) (grrrrrr), so that appointment was cancelled as well. 

And I think I would've been OK to wait this thing out, but then, on May 1, everything just felt dark and gloomy and cancer-ridden and I could not climb out of the pit I had dropped into. So I called my oncologist on Friday afternoon and talked to her appointment-maker. Explained that two appointments had been cancelled with two other doctors and I hadn't had my final follow-up look-see and and I probably was fine but I was coming down with the Covid-crazies and would love it if Dr. D would just squeeze my left tit. 

They made room for me first thing on Monday morning. (May 4)

I am fine. Everything is normal. She agreed with me that the two moles in that region look suspicious and should be looked at by someone who is not her. She doesn't do moles. Even if they are on breasts. Jeeessh, every doctor is So Very Specialized. ANYWAY, she made me feel 98% better which is what you want after you visit a cancer doc. 

That evening, I drove over to Drew and Danica's house to drop off a gift and card for her birthday. We chatted for an hour and my empty tank just kept filling up the longer we visited. At one point Drew took off his baseball cap to push back his hair and OH My GOOOODNESS. He hasn't cut his hair since Christmas (he figured it was a good time to grow it out, and then Covid happened, so everyone joined him in growing their hair). His hair grows like mine, so it was LONG. And dark. And a bit wild. And his face looked so small inside that mop of hair. And all of a sudden, I was looking at 10-year-old Drew with his floppy hair and impish grin. 


You have no idea. 

The kids were more accommodating/obedient when they were younger and I pulled out my camera. But they're adults now. And more often that not, I'm told to 'put it away.' 

I didn't want to wreck a lovely visit with a 'No mom. No pictures' moment. But I promised myself, the next time I saw him, I WOULD take a pic. 

And then at 10 pm, a pic is posted to our family chat:


Drew's birthday gift to his wife is she could do his hair however she wanted.


At about midnight he was looking like the Tiger King:

And the next morning, Drew posted this to his Instagram account:


The rest of that first week of May was not rainy so after work each evening I walked. Long walks; for my mental health. Each night in a different area, following behind a different friend, walking in areas where there were hardly any other people.

East Van sidewalks (with Kim) are so very beautiful.

And Murrayville streets (with Faye) were filled with painted rocks.

Nicomekl Trails were stunning at sunset (with Maxine) ...

and walking in circles (10,000 steps) around a park in Abbotsford (with Karm) was good for my legs.

Another thing I did during this first week was to listen to a couple online sermons.

If you don't have a church-home that you regularly attend, why not join me at Northview?

We've just finished a 4 part series called STORMS (which is in response to Covid.) The last two messages were especially encouraging:

Also, this week?

I looked through this book (a gift from Val) and got lost in the illustrations. Some day I'll actually read the content, but during this particular week, all I could manage was looking at the pictures.

After my Friday night walk, I bought a pizza and drove out to the lake.
Drew, Dani and Austen were there, which is my favoritest thing.

I visited with the girls for awhile, outside, sitting beside the fire Dani had going in our fire pit.
I said goodnight at 11 and went up to my room, leaving the main floor/TV for them.

Socially distancing in a shared house is doable.

In my bedroom, waiting for me, was a beautiful Mother's Day card filled with words written by my girl, beside a bowl filled with flowering plants.

I felt loved and at peace.
This is all I need. Words. And time spent with those I love.

I got a text message at 10:23 the next morning (Saturday).

Good Morning, mom. Happy Mother's Day! Are you awake? Let me know when you're ready, I've made breakfast and I'll bring it up to you.

I am 179 years old and this was the first time I've ever been served breakfast in bed.

Daughters are The Best.

We spent the day on the deck, suntanning, because it was hot and perfect and I couldn't think of anything else I would've rather been doing...

And then Clint and Max came up bringing groceries and MADE DINNER.
A steak dinner.

The rest of us stayed out of the kitchen.

We ate outside, then Drew, Dani and Austen left.

Clint and Max took over the downstairs, and I retreated back up to the top floor.

Oh Covid. You do complicate things.

Max went back to Surrey on Sunday and Clint worked in the yard (again)...

We both stayed for night, working remotely on Monday. We took turns working on the deck, depending on who needed the privacy for a Zoom video conference.

And at noon, he made me lunch:

and my mouth has just recovered.

He left later in the afternoon, and I just kept at it til late:

Notice the deck is wet... it had started raining. And I didn't care one little bit. The air was warm, I was under the overhang, and THANK YOU COVID for allowing me to Work From Home. I love it.


Three Things I'm Thankful For:

1. I am thankful I got this post done.

2. I am thankful for my kids and their efforts to make Mother's Day a special one for me.

3. I am thankful for this place.

4. I am thankful for doctors and their wisdom.

5. I am thankful for this Covid season and the slower pace I'm living.

6. I am thankful for friends who walk n talk.

7. I am thankful for churches and sermons and faith and answered prayer.

8. I am thankful for full moons and starry nights.

9. I am thankful for sunny days and happy memories.

10. I am thankful for king size beds.

Hoping you're all well,

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