Wisdom - Merrie

For years, Merrie was just a head on a screen. 

She and her husband were the directors of a retreat centre in Alberta so even though we worked for the same organization, our paths only crossed once a year, at the annual Christmas banquet. And even then, our interaction was minimal; no actual conversation, just me and my camera taking candid shots of her and her team. 

The Great Pandemic changed that though. Available technology was taken advantage of, and suddenly everyone (remote and local staff) was meeting every morning for devos, online. And even after The Covid was no longer a threat, we continued to meet online daily. 

It wasn't until sometime in 2022, maybe, that I realized just how much wisdom was packed into Merrie's teensy little being. (She's like a pocket pal; so tiny.) She was leading devo's and doing a four part series that she'd written, on Sabbath. ( I was SURE I'd blogged about this already. But I've just spent two hours going through my poorly labelled archives and can't find it anywhere.) You'll have to trust me; her thoughts on dedicating 24 hours every week to not working was life-changing for me. 

I suggested we record her Sabbath devotional (professionally, in our film studio) so we could share it with everyone. Which we did. So it's available. Somewhere. Haha. There's a link to it on some site. Ugh. Maybe she'll post a link in the comments. 

ANYway, her thoughts and experiences regarding rest and Sabbath made me sit up and take notice. And I realized that she really packed a punch. She knew stuff. She'd lived through stuff. She was gracious amidst stuff. She shared her smarts with all the folks who stayed at the retreat centres. And once I started asking, she shared it all with me too. 

At the end of 2022, as the annual banquet was ending, I was on my way out, when she caught my eye and wished me a Merry Christmas. I nodded and said 'same to you.' She put her hand on my arm, pulled me aside and asked me how I was doing. She asked with her huge eyes staring straight into my soul. 

I had been keeping it bottled up all evening, but her eyes, man. You can't ignore the kindness that oozes from them. 

I blurted out, while crying, that Drew had told me a few days prior that he was leaving his marriage and I was so so heartbroken. She held me tight, told me she had a Drew too. And everytime she'd pray for her boy, she'd pray for mine too. 

She went back to her side of the Rockies, but I felt her presence all through the following year as she sent me messages and prayers and thoughts and verses and encouragement. And wisdom. And when my situation at work crashed at the end of 2023, she was one of the first friends I contacted for prayer. I knew she would be a faithful prayer warrior on my behalf. And while I know God hears all our prayers, I think He listens extra carefully to Merrie. Probably because of her eyes. And her heart. 

Meet my friend, Merrie:

Hi girlfriend, 

Thanks for doing this. What would you tell your younger self, if that were an option?

I think it would have been good, every decade or so, to sit down and have a little chat with myself. I'm not sure one chat would have been enough. I suppose it I were to choose two, the first time would have been when we were going into full time pastoral ministry. It would have been valuable to tell myself, "you'll never keep everyone happy, go after God's approval and that will be enough." 

And the second conversation would have been before we started raising our kids. I wish I could go back and care less about behavior modification and more about issues of the heart!

What gives your life meaning these days?

SO many things ... faith, friends, and grandkids... oh those two beautiful grandkids. I'm gaga over them; it might be a bit much.

Has anyone inspired, or mentored you?

I remember, as a young child, women who would lay their hands on me at the altar after a Sunday evening service and pray for me. Most of them are gone now but I can still feel their hands on my shoulder.

I'm inspired by women who have walked through great disappointment with an authentic beautiful grace on their lives. Not denying the pain, but leaning heavily on Jesus. Stories of resilience always leave me humbled. 

So. What're you lookin forward to?

Sounds kinda corny but I'm looking forward to tomorrow. I've lived long enough to know life can change without notice, so I'm determined to not look too far ahead but give myself the simple joy of living one day at a time. 

Annd, what's the best thing about being your current age?

I feel profoundly blessed to have reached the retirement age of 65 in relatively good health, so I love having the time to choose what my day looks like. My to do list is much shorter and now I have the leisure of completing it at week's end (or month's end) ... and not feeling like I have to have it competed by the end of the day! Just writing that makes me smile big!

Any fears?

It would be fair to say that encountering major health issues for Marshall or me is a fear. And issues with the kids or grandkids certainly have been known to keep me up at night. I memorize Scripture on trust, faith and hope to deal with my tendency to default to anxiety and fear. 

And bears. I'm afraid of bears, and sharks and snakes. 

Can you share three major highlights you've experienced so far? 

1. When we were pastoring in Ontario we had the privilege of leading several tours into the Holy Land. Those trips were deeply impactful for me. 
2. We pastored one church in Waterloo, Ontario for over 28 years. To have the gift of sharing in the joy and sorrows of almost 3 generations of parishioners is something we will forever cherish. 
3. We were blessed to be the directors at Kerith Creek, a retreat centre in Alberta for over 8 years and walked with over 500 leaders during 65 retreats. What a privilege to spend time with men and women from different denominations, different backgrounds, different callings... to hear their stories and to pray with them. We are deeply grateful for that opportunity. 

Any life changing events?

The birth of our grandchildren changed our lives forever! We had no idea we'd ever end up in Alberta but God knew this Nanny and Poppy needed to be close to these kiddos. 

The death of my mother and father were life changing for me on so many different levels. I lost my dad in my mid-twenties and forty years later I'm still grieving his loss. My mother died nine years ago, at the end of 94, and while she lived a full life, I wish I'd had a few more years with her. 

Thoughts on beauty?

I'm so grateful to have the gift of aging ... so many don't. But frankly, aging has been harder than I thought. I kinda thought the aches, pains, wrinkles and brown spots would maybe start to happen in your early 70's, ummmm, but no, apparently not. 

General wisdom, on any topic, you'd like to pass along to younger women?

• Start saving money as early as you can (even a little will make a huge difference down the road)
• Read the Bible; not just devotionals. And memorize Scripture.
• Use the best face cream you can buy!
• Start lifting weights in your 30's.
• Walk, walk, walk. at least once a day walk like you're gonna be late for the bus. Get that heart rate up!
• Always pick up the house quickly (15 minutes) before you go to bed at night. Gives you a fresh start every morning. (Jane's note: pick up the house = tidy the house. Haha. Although I guess if you start lifting weights in your 30's you might actually be able to pick up your house?)
• Make your bed every morning.
• Find out what fills you up and do it! Bubble baths? Books? Great coffee? New nail polish? Doesn't have to be expensive, but it will make a difference. 
• Drink a lot of water.
• Watch sugar and carb intake BUT what can beat a good cinnamon bun? 
• Travel whenever you can. Don't wait til you retire.
• Make prayer a priority. Read on prayer, hang around people who pray, join a prayer group, pray Scripture. And don't ever give up praying. Never. Ever!
• Find a Bible believing church, volunteer there and encourage the staff at every opportunity. 

Favorites:

Movie: Sabrina

Song: This week it's Bless God by Brooke Lingertwood

City: SO many - Jerusalem, Venice, Paris, Rome, and especially love our little town of Okotoks

Quote: "I have made it a guiding principle to not be overinfluenced by minor disappointments or difficulties." Marianne Moore 

Scripture: Be joyful in confident hope, patient in trouble, faithful in prayer. Romans 12:12

Activity: Time with the grandkids brings me great joy...

Flower: I love daisies. And peonies. Buy yourself flowers! Or pick wildflowers!

Snack: Cheetos. (I know, right? So much for "watch your carbs!")

Christmas Memory: My dad, year after year, opening the big family Bible to read the Christmas story before we opened our gifts.

Thanks, Merrie!

xo