Wisdom: Donna

We (Donna and I) met in the Spring of 2003 in Arizona. 

I was trying to be brave about my circumstances while making peace with the assumption that I'd never go on a sun-destination vacation ever again. I was working as a farm-type laborer at Bevo Greenhouses, clipping baby pepper plants and grafting tomato stalks that were growing 4" off the floor. I had recently turned 40 and was making minimum wage. 

Mark had just married Sherry, who was expecting their son. They decided to go to Palm Springs for their honeymoon and timed it during Spring Break so they could bring Clint, Max and Drew along. 

Before I even had a chance to deep-dive into some woe-is-me blues, Denise called, wondering if I'd like to join her in Phoenix for a sunny vacay? Her in-laws had a condo in a gated community and had invited us to join them. 

So as 95% of my heart (along with years and years of Spring Break memories) were flying to Palm Springs, I boarded a plane destined for a place I'd never been before to stay with kind strangers. 

Donna was that kind stranger. She had been divorced and knew exactly how to be my friend. She listened to my story, murmured at the right moments, totally understood when I got weepy, introduced me to new experiences (Arizona art galleries, using a golf cart as main mode of transportation and yam stuffed zucchini). We had similar book preferences, were happy when Denise and Henry left us to go golfing, and made plans to connect when they were back in BC.

That time at their place was SO awesome, so life-giving, so peaceful, we stayed with them, again, a couple years later. 

Since then, her and I meet up often. She has lived in a condo for the past 10? 15? years, and she, more than anyone, has helped me navigate the beauty of living a down-sized life. She, and her home, are elegant, simple, warm, and beautiful. And she is a good listener. Her greatest gift to me in the past year is her way of normalizing egg salad sandwiches as a totally acceptable meal to serve to guests for dinner. And her second greatest gift is normalizing fancy restaurant evenings for no reason at all. 

Meet my friend, Donna. She is a wise woman of few words. 

:)

Donna and Denise

Hi Donna, 

What would you tell your younger self and hope she understands? 

Trust your instincts.

What makes your life meaningful?

Family and friends.

Donna and 'old time friends'

Who has inspired/mentored you?

My friend, Vicki. She had cystic fibrosis and passed at age 64. She never once complained. She was always positive. 

So, what're you looking forward to?

I look forward to every morning.

And I really enjoy not having to set an alarm and then rushing out.

Annnnd, what's the best thing about being your current age? (75)

Everything. Everything is the best. 

I have a nice life. 

What's your greatest fear?

TRUMP.

Can you share three major highlights you've experienced in your 70+ years?

1. My daughter. 

2. Uniting with my son a few years ago.

3. Being embraced by friends and family after telling them my story about my son. AND the love I've felt from him, his family and his extended family. 

Have you had a life-changing event? What did you learn from it?

Yes, a cancer diagnosis during Covid. What I learned is to trust in the professionals. 

Any thoughts on beauty?

Yes! 

It comes from within.

And, finally, any general wise thoughts?

If you feel there is something wrong with your body, trust that you know. (Jane's two cents: Donna's diagnosis came one year after mine, her's was at the height of The Pandemic. Getting 'in-person, at-the-office' doctor appointments was challenging, so she booked a private MRI, which detected the tumours, and she immediately got the medical help needed. Her surgery was a few weeks later, followed by chemo. Now? Four years later, she is cancer free.)

Lightning round. One word answers:

Favorite song: Believe by Brooks and Dunn

Favorite city: New York City

Favorite activity: Walking

Favorite flower: Tulips

Favorite snack: Chocolate

Favorite Christmas memory: My daughter, Stacey and I were visiting friends when Santa Claus came to the door. (He was quite drunk but she didn't know.) She was SO very excited. 

Thanks, Donna, for being my friend, 

xo