Wisdom: Heather

We met years earlier, but it didn't 'stick' 😊, so it wasn't until 2008 (?) (when she recognized my name on the visitor's registry at the short-term care home both her mom and my dad were in) that she contacted me. We became intentional about keeping in touch. Her mom had Alzheimer's. My dad had dementia. Our lives were intersecting at a sensitive, difficult junction.

"Keeping in touch" is the precursor to friendship. And so it began. 

In 2013, I moved into her 'hood, so long evening walks became our thing. And shortly after that we discovered a mutual fondness for (the lowkey Tedtalks Vancouver version) Salon Nights. The former mayor of Vancouver would invite 6 - 8 interesting people who were passionate about something, to share their enthusiasm and expertise to a packed room at the Vancouver Playhouse.  We were in that room, excited to learn and be inspired by new-to-us things. Afterwards we'd stay at a Vancouver hotel to unpack all that we'd heard, wear facial masks and eat snacks. We'd end our mini-vacay by walking around downtown, feeling very urban and hip. 

Since then, she and Mark, became absolute lifesavers with their pick-up truck and uber-kind weekly offers to take a load of crap/treasures to the dump/thrift store. If it wasn't for them, my mom and I would still be buried deep under a mountain of the precious items stored in every nook and cranny of that massive house on 114th Ave. Her love language is practical acts of service. And I am the lucky recipient of that. 

Earlier this year, when I was a bit of a mess, she whisked me away for 5 days of rest and list making. Along with being a great baker (sourdough and scones), an avid reader, and a let's-get-this-done friend, she is also loaded with wisdom. It's a rare occasion when she doesn't know exactly what's needed. She often is saying to me, "You should ..." or "You need to ..." with all the confidence of one who just knows. 

I'm excited for you to meet Heather: 

Heather, girlfriend, let's start with what would you tell your younger self and really hope she understands?

That's easy. Pay more attention to what is going on around you. Pause and slow down. Don’t be so

automatically trusting, and don’t be afraid to put up boundaries. The busy (and sometimes frustrating) season when your children are small is truly short.

So what makes your life meaningful?

Being involved in our grandkids lives. We have 5. Each different from the others.

Each so very very precious. I’m so fortunate to be able to see them often and I feel

like we are part of their village. I love spending time with them, either in person, or on

FaceTime. They truly are life!

Who has inspired/mentored you?

The matriarchs in my family have set an example of strength, persistence, and

determination. My great grandmother came to Canada from Scotland. Her life wasn’t

easy (no one’s life was easy then), but she made things happen. It was she who purchased our beach front property in Tsawwassen. 

In her own name. 

In 1935. 

!!!

Our beach is still ours because of her.

One of her daughters was my Nannie. Tillie (well, Emma Amelia), was tall, inventive

and not afraid to do new things. She gave birth to my mom before she was married,

and raised her for awhile on her own. After her husband died, she rented rooms to

BCIT students, hosted bus trips to Reno, and filled her purse with extra salad before

she left Mr. Mikes in Burnaby. She was so sociable and loved being around people.

My mom. Rarely took no for an answer. She was spontaneous, funny, and larger than

life. Oddly enough, I felt that I was the closest to her in her final years… her Alzheimer

years. It was a full time job for my sister and I to advocate for her. But, did we ever

laugh together!

Annnd, what're you looking forward to?

I’m not a planner, so looking forward really isn’t my thing. If you ask me where I’ll be 5

years from now, my answer would be… “I don’t know”.

I’m looking forward to traveling, to see and experience new things with my husband,

family and friends. (Girlfriend trips are life.) You only have to mention going

somewhere, and I’ll have tickets and itinerary done!

Learning – I took a course a few years ago on Behavioral Intervention. I plan on taking

more courses in 2025.

What is the best thing about being your current age?

Senior discounts. Also, wisdom and patience. There is a solution for almost every

problem if you pause and think.

What's your greatest fear?

It’s an unrealistic fear, but that anything bad should happen to any of our kids or grandkids.

Can you share three major highlights you’ve experienced so far?

Easy – Luke, Emily and Laura

Have you had a life-changing event? What did you learn from it? 

Yup, many life changing events. I’ve learned that advocating for someone is hard work, and if you don’t take no for an answer you may not always be popular. I’ve learned to trust my gut.

Thoughts on beauty?

Don’t overthink it. God has given you your face to make you YOU. But at the same time, use SPF.

General wisdom, on any topic, you’d like to pass along to younger women? (faith,

finances, aging, relationships, cleaning, self-care, health diet, travel etc)

• A good sense of humour will get you through a lot of things in your life. It can be a wonderful coping tool.
• Work hard, save, and be frugal. Be intentional with your money, and at the same time be generous.
• Never pay full price for toilet paper.
• Buy the book.

What is your favorite/most memorable/impactful:

Book – I’m a reader; a library enthusiast. I love it when I find a new author that I will

like. Anything by Kristin Hannah, Kathy Reichs or Louise Penny. Favorite books in the

past few years: The Covenant of Water by Abraham Verghese, The Women by Kristin

Hannah.

Movie/show – Letters to Juliet, Mama Mia, Escape (aka Asleep) to the Country.

Song – Original Sin by Elton (it sounds spiritual – but it’s not ). I Know You By Heart,

Fields of Gold, Over The Rainbow – Eva Cassidy. Christmas song: Mary Did You Know.

City you’ve lived in/visited – I was born in Burnaby, and lived there until 1991 when we

built our house in Surrey. It was a big leap for us to cross the bridge, but we are so

glad that we did.

Great Britain. I have family there and it always feels like coming home.

Verse or quote –Romans 12:15 Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who

mourn. To me this is a reminder to always have grace.

Activity that brings joy – being with my kids and grandkids, gardening, reading, being

on an airplane. Being with my GB family.

Spending time at my beach.

Getting a better price on a rental car.

Sunsets (Saskatoon’s are breathtaking)

Surprising moment – Finding out that our son Luke and his wife Tanya were expecting

a baby. We thought it wasn’t going to happen, and then we got Jack.

Favorite flower – tulips, especially when they are droopy. Sunflowers, especially when

they are chasing the sun. I also have a thing for zinnias and cosmos.

Favorite snack – Lays Original Potato Chips, Penguin Bars, cinnamon buns, cashews,

licorice allsorts.

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Thanks, girlfriend!

xo