DAY 6

(I started writing this yesterday.) Today is actually Day 7. (aka One Week post op.) (Content is still applicable.) Ooops, now it's Day 8. I suck at timely reporting.

One week ago today, I was obsessing about the procedure major, traumatic operation I'd be having the following morning. So many burning, obsessive thoughts invading my usual zen-like mind, absolutely ruining what could've been a chilled, idyllic summer evening.

Where any of those fears warranted? That's the question. 

I'm here to discuss that right now, (six seven eight days post op), bearing in mind I'm under the influence of Cream Soda, Sherry's oatmeal cookies and Tramadol. 

Q1. Do I really need to bring all this medical equipment (walker, crutches, cane, long-armed grabber thingy, long-handled shoe horn, large and cumbersome firm/hard pillow, comfortable clothes to work out in, supportive shoes and a small bag of personal things) to the hospital, when I'm admitted at 6 am? The logistics of this? Pack it all into my lil red wagon? Max is just gonna drop me off at the curb, then head back into morning rush hour traffic ... that's the plan. Is he going to have to find parking, then follow me in and around the hospital with all these awkward accessories? 

Reflection1: Why oh why were all those things on the list? So much time labeling everything, getting it down to my vehicle the night before, hauling it all into admitting, then again into the Day Surgery waiting area, then again into the pre-op area. After that, it was placed under my gurney, rolled into the operating room, then rolled into the recovery room. After that, it was moved again, into my semi private room where it took up all the corner and window sill space, never to be touched or moved again until Max came to pick me up on Friday afternoon. It took two trips to get me, with my non-working leg, and all that crap out to the car. 

Other than my seven minute physio session where I used the walker-with-two-wheels to try walking for the first (and only) time, NONE OF THE OTHER EQUIPMENT WAS EVER REFFERED TO OR TOUCHED. 

So. In retrospect, I should've talked to someone in advance to confirm what was really expected. Just because the 45 page booklet and 27 pdfs have a list doesn't mean you actually need to study for that part of the exam.

Q2. Intravenous procedure. Getting that IV. Apprehensive and worried. I had minor surgery in January where I was put under a general anesthetic. The junior nurse ("everyone has to learn on someone") made an absolute mess of the back of my right hand with her botched attempts at getting me started on IV fluids. Like, crazy, man. Bruising and bleeding like it'd been run over by a bulldozer. So the senior nurse came in, WITH A VEIN FINDER (3rd best invention ever) and found a 'juicy one' on the outside of my forearm, close to my elbow. She showed me how perfect it was, then proceeded to stick her big fat needle in it with no problem at all. One shove and she was in. 

Reflection 2: I was fretting about the whole intravenous thing for the hip surgery, for weeks in advance, UNECCESSARILY, it turns out. When I suggested (to the pre-op nurse) that using a vein finder to detect a vein over here (I pointed) might be the best way to get an IV started, she called the IV expert, who agreed with me (eventually) and used the vein highlighter to find it (apparently it's very deep, and invisible to the naked eye). I almost didn't feel her stick the needle in. 

They may be the experts, but you know the secrets your body holds. 

Q3. How many boxes of chocolates and painted rocks should I bring as Thank You gifts to the folks who care for me at UBC? Four rocks? Two larger boxes of Purdy's and two personal size? How many nurses will be directly touching me? Should I bring extras, just in case? When will I hand them out? At the start of their shift? At the end? 

Reflection 3: WHY WAS I OBSESSED WITH THIS? Haha. OY. I had too much and not enough. I only gave out one rock (and a small box of chocolates) (to a very awesome pre-op nurse who prepped me for surgery. She's recently divorced and has a son named Max as well.) Other than that? I gave larger boxes to nurse teams at the end of their shifts, whether I felt the service was good or not. :) 

In retrospect, there's nothing wrong with being appreciative. I tip servers, pedicurists, stylists, massage therapists... why not nurses as well?

Q4. How can I manage to stay an extra night or two in the hospital? I don't have a partner at home, loving me enough to help me with the physical/intimate parts of recovery. I don't want my kids feeling pressure to be more than simply my sons. I would rather pay for additional care in a hospital than put Clint and Max into awkward situations. 

Reflection 4: These were legit concerns. I was so scared to go home. I was sittin on that bed, crying, feeling woefully ill-equipped to be discharged, and no one was having none of it. Because I could walk across the hospital room, I was good to go. I guess compared to frail 90 year olds, I looked robust, resourceful, resilient. I felt none of those things. 

One week later, it appears I survived it all.  My boys were gentle and tender and enough and ignored me unless I requested help. Together we figured out the practical stuff, on my own I tackled the bathroom stuff, and I have friends who're filling in the gaps. I'm used to not-talking for hours (sometimes days) at a time. Having my boys around was a good option for me, because they never felt the need to fill dead air space with polite/stupid/gossipy conversation. Clint brought his computer to work or game his was through the weekend. 

Sexiest bathroom, ever

Fear of the unknown is The Worst. I will say though, that you cannot do this by yourself. (Well, maybe you can. But please don't.) If you're single and/or live alone, plan in advance to have support. Daily support for the first 4 days for sure. You won't die or anything if you don't have it, but having someone in your space when you're hurting and slow, allows your mind to take a break from having the think about All the Things. 

Things I'm glad I prepared for:

1. This probably goes without saying, but I'm happy my fridge has frozen meals in it. Some I made myself (gasp) others were supplied by Friends Who Cook Delicious Things. Other than avocadoes, milk, lettuce and Caramilk bars, I'm good for two weeks at least. 

2. When the logistics were starting to overwhelm me a month ago, I changed my mindset. This wasn't a medical situation, it was a Project Management opportunity. (My specialty, if I say so myself.) I created categories, made lists, assigned timelines, communicated needs, confirmed participation, checked boxes. And felt a new level of peace. 

3. Speaking of peace, I had to come to terms with FOMO. Fear of Missing Out of Summer 2025. I countdown to this season every September - so the grief is real. I know that everyone else will be doing All The Summer Things and some of them will post their happiness onto social media. I needed to deal with it, or I'd be a bitter hag by the end of the month. So I packed as much summer as I could into the first two weeks of July and will pick up that baton again sometime in August. 

4. I'm glad I created a beautiful space to recover, on my deck. If you're gonna be housebound for weeks, plan in advance to have a place to sit where you feel lucky and blessed. 

5. Feeling so rich that I prepared in advance, a treat to look forward to. I did two things: First was go on a Used Bookstore Crawl with my bookclub to get a stack of novels to read. And second, my gift to myself is a BritBox subscription. 

6. The 24 hours before surgery was a pampering day for me. I knew my body was going to be cut open, chopped up and hammered soundly on Thursday, so I wanted to be touched respectfully and gently on Wednesday. I booked appointments for a pedicure (and foot massage), a facial (including eye brow tinting and shaping), an RMT session (back, shoulder massage) and a hair appointment (wash, dry, and french braid - including a scalp massage). Completely indulgent and selfish. 

7. I typically have Beata come in twice a month for two hours to deep clean my place. During this summer? We increased that to every week. No regrets. Not a single one. My door is on a revolving hinge with friends popping in every day. Last thing I need to obsess about is how sanitized the main bathroom is. 

8. Hiring a private nurse was my birthday gift to myself. 

Things I'm thankful for:

1. THIS. Ordered it tonight. SOMETHING that'll hold my leg and foot straight so it doesn't 'flop' to the side and ruin everything when I'm sleeping. 

2. Hardboiled eggs

3. Cream Soda

4. Baskets

5. Sunlit rooms

6. Friends who water (and say affirming things to your) plants. (I'll get a pic of you next time, Patricia)

7. Scottish accents. 

8. I sat outside for the first time today. Fresh air and warm breezes are just the best. 

9. The swollen lump (it's almost it's own appendage) of incision flesh has turned from black to blue. 

10. Answered prayers, big and small. I'm triply thankful for all the friends who've let me know they're praying for me. I am so grateful.

11. Friends who bring casseroles in a homemade casserole carrier... :)

11. Thanks to Clint, Max, Sherry, Beata, Kim, and Jenn who've been my carers this week. Love you all xo