Saturday, October 22, 2005

I'll take the one with an ocean front view...

During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the director what the criterion was which defined whether or not a patient should be institutionalized.

"Well," said the director, "We fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub."

"Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup."

"No." said the director, "A normal person would pull the plug ... Do you want a room with or without a view? "


Three things I'm looking forward to:
1. The classes I'm taking tomorrow:
- Point of View ("The point of view you write in is your voice as a writer and makes you distinct.")
- Wrtiting From the Head without losing Your Heart ("Discover the balancing act of writing from both heart and head".)
- Blogging - A Writer's Tool

2. Supper at Moxies tomorrow night with all my writing buddies.

3. Lunch on Sunday. Terry and I are going to chow down with Diana. Diana Gabaldon. The Writer. Hello. She is the author of the Outlander series. She is my favorite story teller. What? I can't hear you.

Proverb of the day:
If you keep your mouth shut you will stay out of trouble. 21:23

Holy COW!
Friday ended a few minutes ago and I plum fergot all bout 4 on Friday.
Oh wait. It's still Friday in Hawaii.
Alrighty then. Let's hava go at this.
(You'll see from the questions that this is an American list. Oh well. )

Q1: When you're in the privacy of your own home, what--if anything--do you tend to read while you’re in the bathroom?

Q2: How did you first learn about your current job?

Q3: On this date in 1915, American Telephone and Telegraph Company engineers in Arlington, Virginia, initiated the very first transatlantic radiotelephone call (they called a telephone placed at the Eiffel Tower in Paris, France). What was the last country you placed a call to besides your own?

Q4: If you had picked the winning numbers in this week's Powerball Jackpot, which was worth an estimated $340,000,000.00, you would have been given the option of choosing between a one-time cash payment of $170 Million, or 30 annual payments of approximately $5.6 Million each. Which would you choose and why?

A1. This past week I've taken the brand new 978 page hard cover Diana Gabaldon book and my reading specs into the tub with me. I wouldn't recommend doing this trick at home. That book is bloody heavy.

A2. Last fall, the president's wife (who happens to be a neighbour and friend) was at a Europe fundraising meeting I ended up chairing at the last minute (after being hit by a dumptruck on the freeway earlier in the day). She suggested I apply. I did. Now I'm fundraising for Arrow.

A3. Long distance? To another country? Maybe I phoned the states a few years ago? But I can't remember for sure. This question reminds me of the telemarketer that called my house this evening; "Herro? Does anyone in your house speaka Chinese?"
"We long distance company. You maka overseas phone calls?"
"Ok. Bye."
And I had two (cute, by Clint's standards) young women come to the door recently.
"Hi. We're bubbly and perky. Do you use cable for internet?"
"We can give you a deal on your long distance. We've been authorized to do that."
"Uh huh."
"You spend at least $20 on long distance right?"
"Nope. Less."
"Oh. How much less."
"A lot less."
"Like "$10. a month?"
"No. Less."
"Oh. Like how much?"
"Maybe $2 or $3."
"Oh. Sorry. No deal for you. Bye."
And thus ended my conversation with perky and bubbly.

A4. Take it all at once. Obviously. Get squared away on the taxes. Then send money to Rwanda and Pearlington Mississippi (see this blog: ) Paint my house brown. Buy a few trees and hire a guy to prune the shrubs in the back. Buy Clint a car that doesn't leak. Replace this computer with one that kicks ass. Aquire a few more craft supplies. Book a flight to Italy. Have a weekly appointment to get hair removed, feet pampered and nails done. Put money aside for post secondary education for the kids. Hire someone to make me skinny. Buy that decaying cabin on the lake at Cultus and build a small retreat centre. Get Canuck's season's tickets. Support Diabetes research. Give generously to Heart research too.
Buy each son a chunk of land. Get my eyelashes dyed black. Hire a pastor for our church. Hire some smart guy to ove- see my spending. Hopefully he can act as a body guard too. Cuz, like, won't there be alot of men coming at me with marriage proposals and stuff? 170 million would make me look darned sexy, no?

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