Tues Muse

Today was a 'short' day for me. It works out that way once or twice a week, due to the carpooling schedule I slop together every Sunday night. At 1:45 pm I was stuffing binders, shoving folders, shovelling files, and squeezing print outs into my satchel, with the noblest of intentions of giving them my undivided attention for a few hours this evening.

As I drove through the downtown area, listening to A Pocket Full of Rocks, I delighted in the riot of color around me and said to myself "Wish I had my camera in here."

On my way to the high school, the sun was illuminating a row of maples, spotlighting them as if they were runway models showing off their rich designer fashions. "I will come back later with my camera to capture some of this stunning, brilliant color," I said to myself.

I picked up, then dropped off the highschool boys, then headed over to the elementary school to get Drew. "I'm going to be sad when these trees drop their leaves," I mentioned, referring to the trees that line the street.
"I am so sick of hearing you talk about trees," he replied with not a hint of niceness.
"How was your day?" I asked, oozing niceness from every pore.
"There was a fight. A real fight... Eric and me tried to break it up... and then the kid started crying...and I was pulling him off...blah, blah, blah."
He kept talking while I drove and noticed splashes of color against a backdrop of green.

I have a number of events on the go, and have been using e-mail as the communication method of choice. So while I waited for my sister to bring her scissors over, I recharged my camera battery, dealt with all 4 e-mail accounts and reloaded the dishwasher.

By 4:15 my bangs were back where they belonged, higher on my face than the tip of my nose, my battery was red lining (a good thing) and both boys had claimed a couch. "What's for supper?" Max wondered.
"I'll pick something up on my way home," I called as I closed the front door behind me.

I retraced my earlier route and even though the sun had moved, there still was some eye-watering beauty along the back roads. I pulled my truck off to the shoulder and dodged traffic to position myself directly under a number of trees in various spots along the busier streets of Langley. After gorging myself for 15 minutes, I moved on.

On to being The Responsible Adult. I returned the videos we rented, then entered Safeway. I grabbed a basket on my way in, but traded it in, two aisles later for a buggy. Which I proceeded to fill. But by the time I was two thirds done, I ran out of steam. A cloud of sleepiness descended on me and rained fatigue all over my new feminine work clothes and funky accessories.

I dragged my sorey butt through the last 2 aisles and skipped most of the produce section craving an opportunity to close my eyes and give in to the pull of the nap.

Despite purchasing over $200 in groceries, our evening meal was hotdogs and Kraft Dinner. (Two weiner choices, regular or beef - and the Spiral type of pasta, not the ordinary "classic' kind.) Max slept through it. Drew ate half of his portion and then he too, collapsed on the couch. I refused lie down in fear that I would not get back up, so I downloaded my photos instead.

Some turned out lovely.
I so badly wanted to share...
But Blogger said "No. I'm sorry. These just won't do. Pictures of Lili are uploadable. But not pictures of leaves. Or of applicances at the end of your driveway. Or ugly dead couches on your front lawn. Or any of the other non-Lilied photos you've tried to pawn off on us for the past 11 days. GIVE IT UP Woman. Ain't gonna happen."

Discouraged, I cleaned up the pots and pans I used to prepare my gormet meal, put the groceries away, helped Drew with his homework, got a batch of homemade soup started (to compensate for my half-assed dinner), put a load of laundry in, got all saddened by another Canuck loss, then brought in those papers from work that were going to get my undivided attention.

Just then Clint and Max came home from Youth, bringing with them a big bag of awakefulness, so I set my satchel aside and revelled in their enthusiasm for all things not time-to-go-to-bed-like.

It's now almost midnight. My truck did not get tidied. Only half a load of laundry got done. No yard work was even attempted. Did I tell the kids I loved them? .... I've got a running list of all the things I did not do today. That list, and my fatigue drenched skin, along with my inability to post photos have left me drained.

I have this measuring stick in my mind. It's about 5 feet, 4 inches tall. And I don't ever get past the 1 foot mark.

Somehow, at the end of the day, despite the glimpses of breathtaking beauty I enjoyed, I tend to concentrate on all the ways I fall short. Fall short of being a good parent. Fall short of being an outstanding employee. Fall short on being a savy blogger. Fall short of being an understanding friend. Fall short of being a Christian.

There are days, and today is one of them, when I really don't like listening to myself think.



Three things I'm thankful for:
1. Shorter bangs
2. New days
3. Yellow leaves
4. Orange leaves
5. Red leaves
6. Kids who don't complain about Kraft Dinner and Hot Dog meals
7. Clint's job
8. Drew's report card
9. Max's strong will
10. Lack of carpooling opportunities on Friday
11. God loves me even though I'm a putz.
12. New SOFT socks (Made out of that super soft, wildly funky yarn that everyone was knitting scarves with last Christmas) I'd post a picture. But unless Lili is wearing a pair, they won't get uploaded.
13. Dad's doctors, who will look after his heart before its an emergency
14. Dave. Who is pouring into Drew's life 3 Tuesdays a month and who gave Drew a huge bear hug last Sunday.
15. Mist on fields
16. Friends who are real.
17. Pants that have a bit of a stretch to them.
18. Green eyeshadow
19. I'm thankful that I can pray. To a God who listens. Who not just listens, but acts on my prayers.

That's it. 19.
No, I'm not going to rack my brain to think of one last item just to bring it to 20.
How about you think of one thing you're thankful for - and drop it the comments?

G'nite,
Shalom