So, in September, the counsellor suggests we enroll Max in Distance Ed. He can take Math 10 and Science 10 online, and take Socials 11 and Portfolio 11 (actually a spare) at Poppy. He'll have 2 spares this semester, so he can do the online work at a computer at school.
'Cept no one does work during spares. It's party time in the library. Max had a great semester hanging out with the grade 12's who had multiple spares as well.
The counsellor who set the whole thing up at Poppy left early in the semester as he was diagnosed with cancer. Max's AG teacher left shortly after that due to cancer as well. So the principal said he'd overlook Max's online testing etc. But he left for an extended break due to knee surgery. The vice principal contacted me and said she'd be Max's new overseer, but had to pass it along 2 weeks later to an English teacher. Who oversaw the writing of one test, but then was unable to continue due to a change in her timetable. So the job of keeping an eye on Max went to the female junior counsellor.
As the end of the semester approached, I contacted her to confirm the she had registered Max to write the Science 10 Provincial exam on Wednesday Jan 31 from 9 - 11 am. Fraser Valley Distance Ed had advised me of the time and date, and suggested I make sure the school was aware of Max's need to write it now as opposed to waiting til June.
I rec'd written confirmation that he was scheduled to write it on the 31st.
So on Wednesday morning I dropped him off at school at 8:35, giving him plenty of time to wander over to the testing site.
I got home roughly 11 minutes later and Drew said, "Call Max right away on his cell."
"Hi. What's up?"
"The test started at 8:15 am. I'm not allowed to walk in late."
I called the school and talked to the secretary. "Oh, yeah, that test started at 8:15. He's not allowed in."
In the end, the vice principal read the rules of Provincial exams and found that if Max was escorted by someone in administration, he could enter the testing site no later than 8:53 am. It was now 8:48 am.
I explained that Max was hovering in some hallway, I'd call him on his cell, and tell him to meet the VP at the door to the dramatazium...
A chocolate bar would have been good right about then.
I still crave chocolate bars at least a dozen times every day. It has not gone away. The thought that "a caramilk would be good right about now" is constantly creeping into my mind.
I've had some chocolate chip cookies this month, so I can't say I haven't had any chocolate ... but I have not had a chocolate bar. So that's something, I guess.
I'm not doing this to lose weight, although that would have been a nice side effect. No, I'm doing this to test my ability to be disciplined. To see if I could just say "no" and stick with it.
It's hard.
And not fun.
And sucky.
And when I think, "a Crunch bar would be good right about now ..." nothing I eat or do instead is anywhere near as satisfying. So I'm disappointed. And try to change the subject in my mind. Try to think about something else. Try to take control of my thoughts.
That's the key, isn't it? Mind over matter.
And not just with chocolate bars, with everything.
Choose not to be angry.
Choose to forgive.
Choose not to rehash all the things they did.
Choose not to remember all the gory details.
Choose to eat wisely.
Choose to pray everyday.
Choose to say I Love You even when you don't feel it.
Choose to obey even when you don't want to.
Choose to stop arguing.
Choose to say no to Crunch's, Caramilks, Peanut Butter Cups and sigh, Cadbury Eggs.
Choose to stop thinking about it.
Choose to stop being afraid.
Choose to turn off MSN.
How do you stop your mind from dwelling on certain things?
Maybe fill it with other things?
Like music. You can't sing along to your favorite tunes and rememorize all your grievances against a particular person at the same time.
Read a book. Once you're lost in a story it's pert near impossible to harbour a grudge. You have to let it go. At least for the hours you are reading. If you pick up your negative thought thread after you put your book down, you're just dumb.
Get lost in a DVD series. Like The Office. Holy schmoley, my mind takes a break from needing a chocolate fix whenever I watch Jim crushing on Pam.
Pray. For other people. Friends. Siblings. Parents. Teachers.
Probably exercise would be a good distractor. I wouldn't know. But I'm guessing you can't be all wrapped up in your own hurt feelings when you're sweating it out on a basketball court.
Look through the lens of a camera and challenge yourself to find something beautiful.
Hold a new baby.
Play with a 3 year old.
Get a pedicure and talk to the woman who is fondling your feet.
What just happened?
I was going to blog about Max's experience with Distance Ed as a warning to not walk that path if you can avoid it, and I ended up moaning about chocolate and ranting about choices.
Hate that my brain never knows what my fingertips are going to type.
Three things I'm thankful for:
1. I'm almost 1/3 there... April 10 here I come.
2. Had a "this is odd, wait - or is it God?" moment today. Love those.
3. Frosty grass.
Shalom,
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