Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Pumpkins Carved?

Halloween Treats bought?
Seasonal decorations on display?
Plans made to make the evening fun, special and safe?

No. No. No. No.
Not a single check mark for me.

After work today I went to three places to buy pumpkins and THEY WERE SOLD OUT.
How much does that suck?

Maybe I left it too late? Should have thought of this on the weekend? Like, planned ahead. Not left it til the last minute? What a loser.

By the way, I am going nutzoid.

Actual conversation with Max:
"Did you stop by the office and show them your photo ID?"
"They only asked once. It doesn't matter."
"Yeah, it matters. I told them you'd be by with your Driver's Licence."
"Well, they didn't ask again, so I don't think they care."
"Here, show this to your teacher."
"Why? She only asked once, but never mentioned it again. So there's no point."
"People shouldn't have to repeat themselves over and over again. If they ask you, you do it. Pretty simple I think."
"No, you don't get it. If they really want it, they'll tell you everytime you see them. You just don't understand how it works."

I have SO failed. On so many levels.

This is be a horse sized chill pill and I need one.
Holy cow - would those children of mine just do their bloody homework once? Honestly, I can't take it any more. The defiance. Their "right to choose" not to do it. The attitude. The half-assed work they finally do hand in.

I miss the days when I was super mom and had kids that tried their best. I long for those olden days when I looked forward to report cards and parent-teacher interviews. I ache for Halloweens of old when we would have a party at the farm and my kids didn't want to wander around the streets of Langley (2 blocks from the police station) with (illegal) fireworks in their backpacks looking for places to light them up.

I just have a bad feeling about tomorrow.

Dear God,

Me again. Same old stuff. Help me with these kids. Give me wisdom regarding our neverending issue of homework. God, I nag, discuss, mention, encourage, threaten, and remind them continually and I'm losing my ability to think straight regarding their education.

Maybe You could speak to them? Instill in them a divine-inspired desire to do what every other high school student does...

Thank you God, for their school, their teachers, their friends. God, if my expectations are unreasonable, please let me know.

I don't know what to do. They are not like me. They just don't care. Failure is not a big deal to them, they're so OK with it. What's with that? Where'd that come from? Are you sure I'm the right mom for them? Because I really really don't get it. How about if You (You made them, afterall) take over from here? Cuz honestly? I'm done. I so need Your help.

And, well, there's another thing.
Halloween night.
We love Halloween - it's always been a family-n-friends party night. But since dad and mom moved off the farm, that's not an option anymore. And I'm sad. And worried about the trouble the kids will get into (the trouble that they are looking for) in our neighbourhood. They are aware of the risks and are willing to take them. Who are these children?

God, I want them to be safe. I want them to be here, at home, in the house, with me, handing out candy and watching a DVD with their friends.

God, being a mom is tricky and hard and heart-breaking and worrisome. Please help me. I don't know what I'm doing. I've lost sight of the big picture and am wasting too much brain space on homework and fireworks.

I'm ready for a measure of peace. Could you pour a cup or two over me? And I'll leave Halloween night up to You. Steer them aware from trouble. Prevent them from being stupid. Protect them from harm. May Your will be done.

Oh, and couldja be with my mom and dad? I invite Your spirit to dwell in their house and fill it with Your peace.

In Jesus' name,


Anonymous said...

No homework done = no electronics! (ie TV, Halo, internet, msn, etc.) My solution for homework woes. But you have to be able to enforce.

Anonymous said...

I has a big blow up about homework with my son (13!). So I understand your frustration! Thanks for sharing...I'm not the only one! (No pumpkin this year either for the first time in 17 years...sigh!)