Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Slice of Life

"Hey. Whadda ya want for supper? BBQed Chicken Caesar Salad Wraps or Hamburger Helper"?
"Hamburger Helper."
"Hamburger Helper."
"Hamburger Helper."

I decide to make Hamburger Helper and make a Caesar Salad as well.

While I'm frying the ground beef, my sister phones.
"Got a sec?"
"Uh huh."
"Need a giggle?"
"More than anything."
"Zac borrowed my phone this morning before he went to school; when he gave it back to me a few hours ago I put it in my hoody pocket. A few minutes ago I was at the counter making supper when a bee attacked me. I jumped away from the counter and ran around the house trying to lose it but it felt like it was stuck in my clothes. I swatted myself and ran and jumped and then I thought I'd killed it. So I start pulling my clothes away from my body hoping the dead bug would drop to the floor and then it started buzzing at me again and I freaked out and started running away from it again.
Then the phone rang and when I answered it, Mandi said "I've been trying to reach you on your cell, why haven't you been answering?"
And then it dawned on me; "Ohhhhh ... so that's what vibrate feels like...."

I put the hamburger helper, corn and salad on the table.
"Why is there a salad?"
"Because we are going to eat green leafy vegetables to feed our brains."
"Every two years you try to make us eat healthy food. It never works. Give it up."
"Some day, in the future, when you're sitting in a diaper, drooling, you'll wish you ate green leafy vegetables."
"No. No, I wouldn't. Sitting in a diaper? Drooling? I can only hope to have it so good. And why would I care anyways ... I'll be in a diaper! Drooling! I'll be happy."
"OK, then do it for your kids who are going to have to deal with you and your starved brain. I'll eat some salad... and I'm doing it for you. So you won't have a brain dead mom."
"You are getting put in a home. None of us are looking after you. You know that, don't you? Actually, it would probably be a good move not to have too many old people around ... how can ..."
Clint interjects; "I just read a short story about this. It's set in the USA in the future, and the deal is, the government will pay a child's full post secondary education if they will kill their parents. Old people are too expenisive on the system to keep alive. So there's a program that the parents sign up for. They don't know how or when it will happen (injection, poisoning, etc) but after it does, the child must agree to take a pill that will help them forget the incident - otherwise they'd go crazy with grief."

And from there, the conversation deteriorated even more.

I really really hope my daughters-in-law love me.
Cuz I think my boys are getting ready to set me off on an ice flow.

Three things I'm thankful for:
1. I laughed today. And I didn't cry today.
2. The sun shone.
3. One son had some salad.

Prayer requests:
1. For my mom who is feeling overwhelmed, sad, discouraged and weary.
2. That dad will be accepting of these new people we are bringing into his life.
3. That Max will pass Math 10 and 11 this semester.



Anonymous said...

One day without tears deserves a celebration.
I will eat some chocolate on your behalf.

It's good.
Good night Jane.

raych said...

Max is taking math 10 AND 11? Poor both of you.
Also, I keep sneaking vegetables into Joel's food. Then he has the option to eat the chicken and rice (and peppers and broccoli) I have made, or to make something for himself. One of these evils is lesser (hint: it contains nutrients). What I'm saying is, eventually you will marry them off, and then their Vitamin A count will no longer be your responsibility.