Fishes and Loaves. The Little Drummer Boy.

Over on Carolyn's blog, she posted a quote from Henri Nouwen's book, Spiritual Direction.

I like it so much, I'm going to post it too...

"Writing is a process in which we discover what lives in us. The deepest satisfaction of writing is precisely that it opens up new spaces within us of which we were not aware before we started to write. To write is to embark on a journey of which we do not know the final destination. Thus, writing requires a great act of trust. We have to say to ourselves: "I do not yet know what I carry in my heart but I trust that it will emerge as I write." Writing is like giving away the few loaves and fishes we have, trusting that they will multiply in the giving."

I love that when I give Him my pics and my prose, as amateur as they are, He uses them for His purposes. When He sees my efforts, like a mom seeing a kindergarteners stick-person-drawing, He likely smiles. Then He touches it with His Holy hands and suddenly the colours are more vibrant and the words are richer with meaning.

All that is required of me is that I keep doing the things that I love. And leave the rest to Him. I simply need to trust that whatever comes off my fingertips (and I never really know where I'm going with something when I start typing. Uh, yeah. You may have noticed that. Especially because I never really know what the point of a post is after I finish typing.) ... I simply need to trust that He knows what the point is, and He knows how He can use it.

Can I give you an example?
I got this in my inbox this week, based on a post I had written in the last month:
"...and so I so decided to read your blog. And when I read what you wrote I just sat there and cried. But happy tears... you know, the ones when you cry because you can't believe how much people care, and how desperate God is to be there with you, and show you that HE cares. And I felt like I was going to be ok. And I went to bed, feeling calm. So thank you Jane."

OK. So that was definitely HIM, adding His blessing or whatever to the silly post I'd written, and using it for His purposes.

Gives me goosebumps when He does that. You have no idea.

At Christmastime the Little Drummer Boy song stuck with me:

Come they told me,
A new born King to see,
Our finest gifts we bring,
To lay before the King,
So to honor Him,
When we come.

Little Baby,
I am a poor boy too,
I have no gift to bring,
That's fit to give the King,
Shall I play for you,
On my drum?

Mary nodded,
The ox and lamb kept time,
I played my drum for Him,
I played my best for Him,
Then He smiled at me,
Me and my drum.

And that's how it feels today.

That He is smiling at me. Me and my blog.
Pa rum Pa pa pum....

Three things I'm thankful for:
1. Our lives are biggger than we think they are. He is using us for His purposes. I'm OK with that. I'm thankful for that.
2. My camera is back from it's holiday in Phoenix, loaded with 321 fuzzy photos. It should never go on trips without me.
3. I went to church last night by myself. But after I sat down, a vision of hot-pink blonde loveliness plopped herself down beside me. Mandi and I ate love hearts and listened to Jeff preach it. So glad I went.

Shalom,

PS. I love this ... it's a young woman's best Christmas present ever.