Friday, April 30, 2010
Sigh. It is OVER.
I've heard that changing weather patterns are hard on a person's joints. Like say, their knees. Like, it makes them ache and throb and not work very well...
Can I tell you about today's weather?
(Which is like yesterday's weather. And the day's before. And before. And before.)
This is what I saw looking north out of my truck window at 3:30 pm:
And at 3:32:
Meanwhile, AT THE SAME time, looking out my window to the south:
Nothing but blue skies (well, a few clouds broke up the brilliance of the blueness.)
So. Can you appreciate how difficult my life is, living right smack dab in the center of a weather fault line?
At home? My front yard is cloudy. My back yard is sunny.And my knees? Have stopped bending.
Cry me a river.
Today turned out to be a lot like the other days this week - I went straight from work to one appointment after another, finally arriving home shortly after 7 pm.
You have no idea.
See this? Here:
Finally. I no longer have to think about it.
Can I say something?
Dams Ford treated me like a queen today.
I was going a little crazy with all the second thoughts and doubts and angst but sucked it up and placed a deposit (on Tuesday) on a 2006 Black 4x4 Escape after a 2 hour test drive that included having Dave (my mechanic) look it over. Then I went all nuts again while talking to Clint that evening, so he said he'd call Gord (his friend, Halee's dad) (whose last name is Dams) to ask him if I had picked a good Escape or was there a better one on the lot. Clint also asked him about trade-ins...
So that was Tuesday.
And Wednesday I had that dentist and coil-over day, so I had another 24 hours to worry and fret.
This is what crossed my mind today:
"I've wanted an Escape for a couple years. That has not changed. But today? Today, I've got cold feet. If buying a vehicle is similar to getting married to a vehicle, then today would be my wedding day and I feel sick and sad and worried and not joyous and not sure and not at peace. And this is why I will never marry again because if I feel this way about a truck how will I ever be able to trust my feelings about a person? A male person. If this is my wedding day to this vehicle, I have no bridesmaids supporting me, I have no friends cheering me on. I won't even have my kids at the ceremony to watch me sign the forms. My dad's not walking me down the aisle. Heck, he's not involved at all. This second marriage thing is so lonely."
Is the timing right for this? Have I jumped into something too soon? Is this a good decision I'm making? How come I'm not sure? How come I have no peace? How come I can't feel excited about this purchase? Will I be able to pay for it eventually? Will it be reliable? Will Drew finally stop hassling me about buying a Ford? Will he even ride in it with me?
I want to be a good steward of the money you've provided. Am I being extravagant?
God? I think I need a sign or something. I'm going to continue with the purchase unless You close a door. And if You do, I'm OK with that.
I arrived at Dams at 4:30pm as scheduled, and Jack (my salesman) walks toward me, pointing his finger.
"You didn't tell me you were friends with the Dams..."
"Uhh, umm. Friends?"
"Got an email this morning from Mr. Dams, asking us to take good care of you..."
A few minutes later the sales manager introduces himself to me,
"Hi. Gordy sent an email to me regarding your purchase..."
After that, the finance lady said, "So, your son and Halee are dating?"
"Uh. Hmm. Well - they're facebook friends. And have met once or twice. She's in California..."
Then, just before he left for the day, the service guy introduced himself to me, "... email ... service ... look after you..."
I have never bought a vehicle before.
My dad bought me my first car - a brand new Camaro in 1983.
Mark bought me my second car - a brand new Intrepid in 1994.
I bought Mark's truck off him after the divorce in 2003.
And now, at age almost-49, I've negotiated my first purchase from a dealership.
Thanks to the team at Dams (and thanks to Halee for being Clint's friend and a special thanks to Gord for taking the time to send an email to the Langley lot,) for making me feel better about my decision, holding my hand (figuratively) through the process and for allowing me to trade in my Durango. Sorry about being high maintenance...
Three things I'm thankful for:
He's home. Know how I can tell?
The front entrance has become an extension to his closet. And there are no leftovers in the fridge.
He came over, seconds after I got home, to check it out. How did he even know?
3. Drew. He was "cute" saying his goodbyes to the Durango last night.
4. Mandi. I drove over to my dad and mom's to show them my new wheels and when I pulled in, she met me in the driveway and said many nice words. Many. I coulda hugged her. I needed to hear positive things about my purchase from people not benefiting from the sale.
5. My dad and mom. Mom was her usual "way to go" self. And dad climbed into the backseat and put on the seatbelt. He just sat there, waiting for me to drive him somewhere. Anywhere. It was all kinds of awesome.