Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Friends are Friends Forever?

Because it's summer and because I needed some fluff this weekend, I read this because I loved the texture of the front cover:

Of the cover.
And the color of the pages.
I really don't like reading books with bright white pages.
How old am I?

Anyway - this book? It's about friendship.
The 30-year old friendship between two besties.

I'd give it a 5 out of 10.
I hate it when, at the start of the book, Tully goes to a Friday night party. A bad thing happens. Kate is outside talking to her horse late at night and just happens to "be there" for a sad Tully when she walks past the field on Firefly Lane. They talk late into the night. Their friendship is formed.


Hello? Since when does Monday follow Friday?

Little inconsistencies like this drive me nuts.


Speaking of friends ...
Me: Why don't you invite someone over?
Drew: What? For just a few hours? You don't get it, do you? Who wants to come over for just a little while after supper? When you get together with a friend, you want to do a whole bunch of things together. Just hang out, you know? Do stuff. Or not do stuff...

And it occurred to me, that somewhere along the way, (or maybe I never did have this "friend" thing figured out) I confused 'entertaining' with 'hanging out with friends'. Oh, I do have friends who are patient with me when I get retarded about spending time with them. ("What's the plan? What will we do?") I'm just sorta starting to get the 'just hang out' aspect of friendship - but it's hard, you know? I have that Martha background, that DNA in my genes which says the table should be set, matching candles lit, and some sort of food offering already prepared.

I am so much more about "doing" and less about "being".


Last week, Carolyn and I went to Regent to hear a lecture on Friendship. A LECTURE on friendship. It was less of a 'how to" and more of a "reasons why". It was the Theology and Philosophy of Friendship. And the overriding theme was Friendship as a Spiritual Discipline.  Which, truth be told, feels like it takes the 'fun' out of friendship.

But viewing it as a Spiritual Discipline, like say, Keeping the Sabbath, or Fasting, or Praying - does make it important. Holy. Worthy of our time. Jesus invested his time in 12 friends. If we look to Him as our example, then, well, we should invest our time in friendships as well.

Some of my notes:
25% of all Americans have no close confidants or friends.
Friendship is freely chosen - no one can force you to be friends.
Social networks are not a replacement for friendships.
We can be changed by friendships - it's risky; our hearts can be stretched and broken.
Social media is NOT a fad. It's the way we communicate. Social Media is useful and entertaining.
Friendships, in general, are neglected as work and family take priority.
In some circles, "best" friendships are discouraged as they can be viewed as secretive, subversive and exclusive.
A small group of like-minded friends can change the world. (Jesus and His disciples.)
Jesus chose to live among friends.
Three levels of friendship:
1. Utility focus
2. Pleasure based, recreational
3. Virtue. Perfect form of friendship. Seeks to nourish and be nourished. Requires discipline and commitment.

A "spiritual friendship": a commitment to confidentiality.
                                   attending to what God is doing in that person's life
                                   is a vehicle of transformation
                                   is a vehicle of grace
                                   is a vehicle of growth

And then we watched this:

... which I found absolutely fascinating.

Three things I`m thankful for:
1. Friends who teach me what it means to be a friend.
2. Children who teach me what it means to be a friend.
3. DREW PASSED ALL HIS GRADE 10 COURSES. We just found out a few hours ago. It was close (52% in a few classes) but a pass is a pass and he showed us. He made it through another year doing no homework and not studying for any tests and he passed.


1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Love the background of your blog..