Tuesday, May 17, 2011

The Last Time

About a week ago, my niece posted this on her blog:

Not so long ago, a lovely neighbour shared a sweet story. She told us of how her teen son had a profound realization and shared it with her one day. He wondered when the last time was that his mother picked him up and held him in her arms. And if she knew that it was to be the last, would she have held on just a little longer? 

Then, the 'last time' theme was echoed again in the book I was reading for my book club meeting on Wednesday night...

Since then, I've been thinking about 'last times'...alot.

  • Sometimes last times are good things. And are things one celebrates... like last diaper ever! last middle of the night feeding! last night in a crib. Last day of high school! Of course they're kinda bittersweet - as last times indicate change and growth. And we don't always know we're changing the last diaper.

  • Sometimes last times are answers to prayer. Like, Dear God, please let this be the last time. 

  • Sometimes we don't realize it's the last time, and we waste the opportunity to relish in it. Like the last time someone says I Love You. Or the last time someone kisses you. Or the last time your dad drops in to steal plums from your backyard. Or the last time you walk to Ricky's with your kids in a stroller to have toast with peanut butter. Or the last time all three kids gather in Drew's room to pray together. Or the last time you have an Easter egg hunt. Or the last time you go shopping for a Christmas tree with all three sons. Or the last time you pop in to Billie's to pick up some Black ceramcoat paint and Aleene's glue. Or the last time a scared little son sneaks into bed with you at 2 in the morning. Or the last time you go camping. Or the last time you are part of a Creation crowd. 

  • Sometimes we KNOW it's going to be the last time, and we get lost in the emotion of it. Like, last church services at Fraser Heights and Murrayville. Last night on a cruise with everyone dancing in the disco. Last night of summer.  

  • Sometimes last times are decisions we make. This is the last cigarette I'm going to smoke. This is the last time I'm going to let him hurt me. This is the last exam I'm ever going to write. This is the last time I'm making this soup. This is the last time I'm inviting her over. This is the last blog post I'll ever write.
Tonight I'm home alone.
I called Max and chatted with him for a few minutes. What if this the last time I talk to him? "Love you and am proud of you..."
I phoned Drew. We talked about his car and the upcoming weekend. What if this was our last conversation? "Love you, see you tomorrow..."
I just facebook chatted with Clint in Egypt. He's 9 hours ahead of us and is preparing to see the Pyramids today.  "Love you, be safe, I'm praying for you. Looking forward to seeing you this weekend..."

So. If nothing else. Those kids of mine know I love them.
Why is that important? And in the end, is it?
I just listened to a sermon on the life of Susanna Wesley and whoa. She puts me to shame. Unbelievable legacy she left behind. She did So Much More than just make sure her kids knew she loved them. She made sure they knew that God loved them. Her last words? Unbelievable.

There are so many times that I wish I could start parenting all over again.

There are so many 'last time' days that I wish I could relive. I would want to do them 'better'.

I just happened to see this link of on the wall of one of my facebook friends. (Hi Kay.) Seeing I had nothing better to do with my ears while my hands were stuffing envelopes and burning photo DVD's - I gave it a listen. It's the 'last time' this prof was lecturing... He knew he was dying, so this was his final class. (He passed away a few months later.) I loved it. So inspiring. So encouraging.

I have so much to learn.

Three things I'm thankful for:
1. The internet. Such a rich collection of inspiring articles on it.
2. The Bible. Such a rich collection... :)
3. My kids. They inspire me.


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