Wednesday, March 28, 2012

So Very Thankful

Unless you've walked this road, you have no idea how grateful a mom can be. Watching Max get his 'One Year Clean' N.A. key fob at tonight's NA meeting was incredibly moving. Have you ever been to a meeting? Go. Seriously. Go to one in New West. Those meetings are raw, honest, energy-packed, positive, and encouraging. There were about 10 young adults being recognized for clean time (one day, 30 days, 60 days, 90 days, all the way to one year clean.) The place erupts in cheers as they went to the front to receive their hugs and fobs. Then each of them shared their stories in relation to one of these three topics (which are suggested at random from the audience): Step 9 (Making Amends), Higher Power, or Giving Back.

Powerful, emotional stuff. Straight from the heart, unsanitized and urgent. Each recovering addict is desperately concerned for the new guy in the room - they want him/her to be encouraged. Not to give up.

I fight back tears the entire hour. Wholey Moley.

So, tonight was his 'one year clean' night, and on Sunday it's his 'cake' night. And at that NA meeting, a portion of it will be all about him. Friends who he's helped with recovery, and friends who have helped him, will all be sharing their stories. I've attended a few cake nights this past year, and they are the happy, gratitude- filled events with lots of cheering and hugging.

So, yeah. I'm so very thankful.
This? Is a proud mom.


ALSO ...for those of you who are here to find out about my dad.
I didn't visit him today, (so not enough hours in a day. Today was all about Max.) but spent a good amount of time on the phone with my mom and Jule, so I feel qualified to post this report:

He's not dying. (Well, in a sense, I guess after you've gone through the trauma of getting borned in the first place, everyone is in the process of dying, so there's that.)
But he has rebounded in a way that has shocked his doctor. Again.

This is not the first time.
He's made this a habit.

My kids weren't even phased by the drama their mom was dealing with each day for the past 6 weeks.
"He's not dying," they assured me when I asked them if they had clean dress pants for a probable upcoming end-of-life event. "He's done this before."

Anyway, because he is swallowing just fine these days, the decisions we made last week have to be tossed out. And a whole set of new decisions need to be made. This will be the fourth time in 6 weeks. These decisions? Always gut-wrenching. The man just wants to go home. And that is not a possibility this time round.

He will need full-time nursing care that involves apparatus. He can swallow and whisper one or two words at a time, and he can move his hands and feet. But he can't roll over or sit up without assistance. He can't walk, nor do those bathroom things. He needs to be fed pureed food.

He smiles and recognizes us.
He loves us.
He still enjoys watching his DVD's.

And he does not want to die.

He's our ol' man, and we will continue to love him until God has got heaven ready for him.


Three things I'm thankful for:
1. A good day. Even if it rained.
2. Peace about my future even though I haven't got a clue what He has in store.
3. Friends.


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