Friday, April 20, 2012


At work on Wednesday, while we who are left, were sitting around having our weekly prayer time and crying session, Steve put  two questions 'on the table' that had been posed to him the night before:

1. In light of all that's going on, how is God trying to love you? (Because, you know, God is always seeking to demonstrate His love for you.)

2. In light of all that's going on, how is God trying to transform you? What's He doing inside you?

God is active in the midst of all that's going on. It's time to refocus, from the circumstances we find ourselves in, to the REAL work of God through all this.

I will ponder this questions while I sleep and will respond this weekend.
How about you? What circumstances are you currently in? Job loss? Sick dad? Time to move? Marriage crumbling? Hurt feelings? Church closing? Finances dwindling? Health deteriorating? Children rebelling? Increased hair loss? Age spots multiplying like freckles? Eyesight fading?

In light of all that, how is God loving and transforming you - remembering that His desire is to make you holier not happier.


Three things I'm thankful for:
1. I work at a place where questions like this are posed.
2. God loves me.
3. God is transforming me.


This is a link to Jessica's page on facebook:
Hoping that even if you aren't "on" facebook, you'll still be able to access the page so you can read the updates and prayers.

Re: my dad - When I saw him on Sunday afternoon, he was resting and very peaceful. My mom was in the room beside him and he seemed very content, dozing off as her and I chatted.

On Tuesday night, I brought him a new portable DVD player (the old one stopped working) and set it up with American Graffiti, which I thought we'd watch together. He didn't even look at the screen. Or at me. He just stared straight ahead and did not engage at all. It's hard to guess what's going on in his head. I went down to the cafeteria and bought him some yogurt which I fed him before I left. It was a sad visit for me.

Tonight, on my way to the hospital I stopped at Tim Hortons and bought some Cream of Broccoli soup and a frozen raspberry lemonade slushy. I paid with a $20 and asked for $5 of my change to be in coin. Drew had my Visa card so I needed coin to pay for parking. My favorite parking spot was available (#177) and I juggled the exact change ($4.50) for one hour of parking, the freezing cold drink, the hot soup, and my big red purse as I walked to the only working parking meter.

I put in a quarter. Then another quarter. Then a loonie. Then another loonie. Then a brand new toonie. Which is didn't accept and spit back at me. Seriously. I pushed it right back in through that slot. It came right back out. I repeated this a number of times BECAUSE I DID NOT HAVE ANY OTHER CHANGE ON ME. Finally I put down the drink and the soup on the curb, and opened up that beast of a purse and rooted around in the mess of black fabric for any loose coin at the bottom. I found some dimes. And a few quarters. I checked the little cell phone pocket and found some nickels. Seriously. I KNEW I didn't have much coin - which is why I specifically IN ADVANCE got some from Tim Hortons. It's not like I wasn't prepared. I WAS. I AM A FIRST BORN MENNONITE DAUGHTER. I DON'T LEAVE THESE THINGS TO CHANCE.

In the end? I was short 10 cents.

And yes, just then a dark brown lady came up behind me and didn't even need an explanation. She simply said, "Here, I've got a dime."

I fed dad the soup. And the slushy. And when his tray was delivered, I fed him pureed peaches. And vanilla pudding. And his chocolate Ensure. It took me the entire hour. I babbled about my kids. My day. The Canucks. Days on the farm. Our camping trips. I talked about the friends who had dropped in to visit him on Wednesday. I washed all the food caught up in his mustache. I cleaned his hands. I changed his movie selection from Ben Hur to Shane. And he only looked at me twice. (Once was when I told him that we found out the results of the head scan they had done. "Dad? Your brain is still in there," I said. He looked me in the eye and nodded.) (And the second time was when I told him that one of Clint's friends got engaged under the Weeping Willow Tree last weekend at the lake. He found that interesting. Well, interesting enough to look at me.)

He is very wide awake when I visit, always watching what's going on in the room. He definitely has not been sleepy or relaxed. He's ripped his catheter and IV out so many times, they aren't bothering to put them back in.


He's my dad. I wonder ... In light of all that's going on, how is God trying to love him?

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