Currently. August 2013

These are the things that I am:

Obsessing over,
Working on,
Thinking about,
Anticipating,
Listening to,
Eating,
Praying for,
Reading,
Happy about,
Wishing.    

1. I am obsessing over:

• Summer ending. SUMMER. ENDING.

• That's the main thing. Summer ending. 

• But there's also my latest interest (which may be considered by some to be an obsessive interest) which is the upcoming TV production of Outlander. I'm following everyone there is to follow (so far) on twitter and am in awe of the whole casting/script-writing/costume-designing process. To make this less creepy, and more legit, I'm doing it all from a professional point of view. I'm wondering if they use a program like Basecamp to manage the whole production process - and what that person's job title would be. And how fun it would be to be that person. Surely the job details would be similar to managing the production of hundreds of creative pieces ...

2. I am working on:

• Well, right now, this minute? I am working on cleaning out the fridge(s) and washing all the bedding and towels at the lake while enjoying the final hours of summer by sitting on the deck in almost no (completely mis-matched and totally inappropriate) clothes, blogging. There is a soft breeze rustling the leaves on the trees behind me and causing the long, graceful branches of the weeping willow to sway. My hands smell like bleach (the unsexiest scent on earth) but the air around me smells like summer is leaving. I am working on being brave about the ending of this season.

• I am also working on a plan. A life-plan, if you will. Like, where the heck should I live? And why. Granted, I'm not working too hard on this plan. I've been enjoying the freedom that comes with living in one's mom's basement. But, surely this isn't a forever thing? I should take on some responsibility? Grow up (again)? Buy a house. Spend my spare hours cleaning and attending to a yard? Because that's what people my age do, of course. But. It's been awfully nice, this stress-free summer I've had. (My first selfie, taken from my ill-lit, north-facing bedroom in the basement. Yes. I am smiling. Mostly in my heart; it takes a long time for those emotions to reach my lips.)
• 

3. I am thinking about:

• How lucky I am. 
• How very lucky I am. 
• How, despite the odds against success, people are still getting married. (I was at another wedding this weekend. (Want to see my favorite pics? Yes? OKTHEN ...
• Laura, (the bride) dancing with her dad...

And then, Heather, (her mom), breaks in:

And they danced together:

And there was just So. Much. Love. 

• And I'm also thinking about my boy. The one in Africa. The one whose clothes and wallet have been stolen. The one whose laptop has fried. The one who was supposed to leave this week, but who's going to have to wait another week. The one who lives right next to a 'corner store' that was robbed a few days ago by masked men with guns who shot of a customer's leg and then sauntered into the bushes Like It Was No Big Deal. He's the one who loves adventure and 'experiences' for the sake of experiences, so he's not complaining much. But I miss him. And will not stop praying for his safety. And how, through him, my world is much bigger. ( I now know where Zanibar, Kampala, Rwanda, and Kathmandu are. Plus I know how to ship something to Africa. Quickly.)

• I am also thinking about that other son. The one in New West. The one who just moved out of that sweet (penthouse) suite to an old house on a beautifully landscaped lot in a great family neighbourhood with 3 - 4 other 22-year old-ish guys. And how that is home for him.  And how happy he is. And how proud I am of him. (I attended another NA meeting this weekend - another Two Year Cake. Somehow, these two year cakes are more special than the One Year Cakes - just because of the journeys these guys have been on. These past twelve months have been challenging for them all, yet they've worked through it, staying clean and sober, despite the challenges and drama. I am in awe of how they approach the issues that come with living ... those Twelve Steps are just good common sense, no?)  And how, through him, my world has expanded. (I started this week meeting/having supper with a mom whose son is in the grips of addiction and ended the week meeting/having supper with a mom who is celebrating multiple years of clean time.)

• And, of course, I'm thinking about that youngest son of mine, too. And how I'm loving watching him grow up, even though it's from a distance. I couldn't be more proud; he is turning into a self-disciplined, hard-working, responsible young man, and, frankly no one could be more surprised. Or happy. What a difference a year makes. I'm thinking about how lucky I am. That through him, I've got a new crafting buddy:

• I'm thinking about my facebook page. And this blog. What do they say about me? And why am I doing this? Is this a fake version of me? 

• I'm also thinking of summer ending. And how, even though this is the first summer of my life that I've had to work full-time with no days off, (but who's counting), and how's it's been a fine, fine, summer after all. 
• And I'm thinking about the comment directed at me the other day, "So, how are you doing? You're not feeling like a loser? Living in your mom's basement?" And surprisingly, no. I don't feel like a loser. At least not yet. That may come. So I'm thinking about this fall/winter. And wondering what God has in store for me.

4. I am anticipating:

• more good days
• maybe some surprises
• a concert or two
• laughter
• Clint's return to Canada
• and hopefully some travel.
• I am anticipating that Thanksgiving will arrive, followed by Christmas.
• And I will go see movies, watch BBC TV shows on DVD, and still have a soft spot for men with Irish accents.

5. I am listening to:

• Sandra popping popcorn in a hot air popper (this post is takin' fricken forever to write. A few hours have passed since I was blogging on the deck. We have since had supper, gone for a walk, and watched the first two hours of Tess of the d-Urbervilles).
• But as soon as she's done, I will hear the creek gurgling outside. I've got all the sliding doors open, because I can, and am loving the feeling of the breeze on my face. My legs are on fire though, because: laptops. Generate a stickin' amount of heat. 
• Also, once that popcorn is done, I will hear the dryer. I have washed a gazillion loads of laundry today. 
• And then I will hear the second half of Tess. I'm not anticipating a happily ever after. Which kinda sucks. Last days of summer deserve passionate kisses and promises of everlasting love. We probably should've watched North and South. Or Pride and Prejudice. Or Cinderella.

6. I am eating popcorn. 

7. What I am praying for:

• For grace, patience and wisdom
• For love

8. I am reading:

• Finished Love Does this month and I can't recommend it strongly enough. 

Just about finished I Was Told There Would Be Cake. Oh my goodness, so good. 

Still working my way through the Outlander series. Again. Finished Dragonfly in Amber a few days ago. Sigh. I love Diana Gabaldon.

I also started three other books but they weren't worth the trouble, so that was that. 

9. I am happy about:

• Possibilities
• Answered prayer
• Friendships in general, mine in particular
• Knowing that God has a plan. And it's a good one. 
• The script, setting and cast of characters that I am a part of. I'm loving the dialogue (conversations I find myself in the middle of); it catches me off-guard so often. How lucky I am to be a player in this big story? 
• My job. Still loving it. 

10. I am wishing:

• For peace about and for my dad
• For safety for Clint as he continues his adventure
• For strong marriages for my friends
• For peace in the middle East
• For joy in the living
• For a happy ending

Shalom,