Monday, September 9, 2013

Please, Let Him Not Be in Jail ...

I was just packing up at work, on my way over to see my doctor (because it's what I do before I go on a vacation. I get a bladder infection. Doesn't matter if I plan the trip months in advance, or like this trip, be all spontaneous and buy an airline ticket 13 days before departure date...) when my cell phone rang.

Me, noticing the call was from BLOCKED, and assuming it was Sandra, answered by saying: Hey there!

Male voice, very much not Sandra: Hey! Is this Jane?

Me: Yup, sure is.

Male voice: Hi, it's Constable Something from the Lanley RCMP -er other ...
Me, thinking this is about my break-in last year and the letter the RCMP sent me to come in and pick up my  broken jewellery box lid that they dusted for fingerprints but didn't find anything: Oh, hey.

Constable Something: Do you have a son named Drew?

Me, to myself, "please let him not be in jail..." : Yes.

Constable Something: Does he drive a blue SUV?

Me, to myself, "shit, please let him not be dead ..." Yes.

Constable Something, who really has a lovely phone voice: Is it a, a, lemme see here... a Blazer?"

Me, wishing he'd get to the point because I needed to get to the doctor. And if Drew was in jail or dead, I was going to have to change my plans; instead of peeing in a cup at the doctor's office, I would use the bathroom at work: Yup, a blue blazer.

Constable Not-To-The-Point: I don't think he's done anything wrong, I'm just following up on some complaints.

Me: to myself, "dumb kid. What's he been doing in that truck?" : Okaaaay?

Constable Cute Voice: It's just there's been some suspicious activity involving his truck in an area in South Langley. The neighbours are concerned as this has been going on for awhile. Can you think of a reason why he would be parking on the side of a road in an area down near...

Me: Down near (and I give him Mark's address), (which, yes I have memorized. Because trivia sticks to my brain like bubble gum on hot pavement.)  

Constable Very Friendly: Haha. Exactly! That's the address your son's truck has been seen at. The neighbours are concerned that something 'not-quite-right' has been going on.

Me: Well. Drew's dad lives at that address. And last year Drew decided to move in with his dad.

Constable  Laughs-a-Lot: Well, that explains it, doesn't it? So. Nothing suspicious. I'm so glad I called you. I can write up my report and let the neighbours know. This was easy. It's always best to call the mom first. She'll know what's going on.

Me: to myself, "well, as far as conversations with police officers about one's son goes- this was an easy one. My boy parks his trucks at night at his dad's house EXACTLY LIKE HE'S SUPPOSED TO" : thanks for calling ...

Three things I'm thankful for:
1. I'm going on a holiday. I leave on Saturday.
2. My doctor waited for me at the office til 6 pm. He's the best.
3. It's going to be SUNNY ALL WEEK LONG.
4. None of my children are in jail. Today.


No comments: