I was out for coffee with a friend the other night, and we chatted about this book. She mentioned that her younger self would be in awe of how 'chill/laid back' she's become.
Which made me wonder -
What would my 29 year old self think about who I've become today?
I imagine if I had the opportunity to meet her, I'd invite her out for coffee. And she'd turn me down, because the 29 year old version of me didn't do coffee.
(Technically the current version doesn't either, but that doesn't stop me from hanging out at Starbucks a few times a month...)
I'd be pushy though, and tell her it would be OK. We would have things to talk about and it wouldn't be awkward or weird.
I imagine that after I bring her up to date (via photo albums and many words) she would be full of questions:
WHAT? We're divorced? OH NO! Extreme sadness. Wha ...Why? How'd we screw that up? What happened? (Pauses to look closely) Is it because we got fat? Do we hate each other? Things were OK in my day. When... what...how....
What happened to Billie's? We loved that place. I thought we were going to pass that store along to our granddaughter? The one named Kate. Has she been born yet?
We had THREE kids? What? But they're ALL boys? YES! Perfect.
I'm still reeling from the divorce thing - are we OK?
WHO ARE ALL THESE PEOPLE IN OUR LIFE? Where did the come from?
We do 'girl's nights'? Really? When did this start?
What the heck? We go on vacations with these people? Why? WHO ARE WE?
We still don't drink? I wondered about that. Just never developed a taste for it, eh?
Tell me about Cream Eggs.
Why, exactly, are we living in the basement at mom's house? Wait. Are we pathetic? Are we a loser?
And where's dad?
WHAT HAVE WE BEEN DOING?
Oh. Someone hired us? And we can do it? Really? Well, that's good.
WE KNOW HOW TO USE A COMPUTER? Are we, like, super smart?
Sorry if this freaks me out, but let me get this straight. I'm 29. AND I HAVE THREE SONS - ALL IN THEIR 20'S? Give me a sec to process that. What did we name the other two? Are they named after bad-ass movie stars like Clint was? Speaking of Clint, is he still adorable? He was so cute. And smart. Tell me what he's like. And tell me about the other two. What are their names again?
WE DON'T GET OUR HAIR PERMED ANYMORE? I can't even. What does our head even look like with straight hair. It's awful, isn't it?\
WHAT THE HELL IS A BLOG?
So, no film? Unlimited picture taking? Are we in heaven? Explain to me digitial photography. I applaud this invention. I think I love our camera. Can I take it back with me?
And really? We don't even want a house? Who are we? We loved our home. With all it's country blue and soft peach accents. We've been collecting things since we were little for our homes. All that Tiffany glass. Collector's plates. Ruffled place mats. Cross stitched pictures. (We still do cross stitch, right?) NO? What do we do then, in the evenings when we watch TV? WE DON'T WATCH TV?
Oh. Right. Coffee. With friends.
Are YOU SERIOUS? A cabin? At Cultus? REally? Do we like being there? Oh. OK. I can't imagine, but OK.
SHUT UP. Europe? England? Puerto Vallarta? Florida? Prince Edward Island? New York? Montreal? ALASKA? WHAAAAT?
So. Facebook. Tell me again why we need this?
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If my 29 year old self actually did have a chance to visit me today, would she live differently when she went back? Would she be excited for her future, or would she be dreading it? Does she see me as a train wreck or someone she can hardly wait to become?
What would she do to ensure a different outcome, if in fact she's not thrilled by the idea of being a middle aged single women working for a non-profit and living in her mom's basement?
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Three things I'm thankful for:
1. That the future is revealed to us one day at a time.
2. Coffee with friends.
3. That I got to play with my camera at work today. Some folks needed head shots done:
I work with the most photogenic people ever.
Shalom,
xo
2 comments:
I read What Alice Forgot, last year. Loved the book, but when applied to myself, like you have done, it's pretty depressing. Other than being, fat, broke, and no longer owning a home...not much has changed; I have felt stuck for a long, long, tie.
Those gals you work with? So beautiful and photogenic!
See you next week!
Thought-provoking post ... as usual, my Janey. I haven't read this one yet but I have a friend who is struggling with it. I'll have my own look-see. Also, the headshots? Look great. Maybe I could hire you?
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