Thursday, January 15, 2015

It DOES work!

Remember, a few days ago, I blogged about THE LOVE GAME? And how, if you and (someone who is interested in exploring the possibility of falling in love) answer the 36 questions honestly, then stare into each other's eyes for 4 minutes, you will fall in love?

Haha. Well.
It totally works.

Mandi Len Catron tried it:

Last summer, I applied it in my own life, which is how I found myself standing on a bridge at midnight, staring into a man's eyes for exactly four minutes.

Let me explain. Earlier in the evening, that man had said: "I suspect, given a few commonalities, you could fall in love with anyone. If so, how do you choose someone?"

He was a university acquaintance I occasionally ran into at the climbing gym and had thought, "what if?" I had gotten a glimpse into his days on Instagram. But this was the first time we had hung out one-on-one.

Read the whole article here. I LOVE it. And if you're not going to click the link, these are my fav parts:

  •  one neither suggests nor agrees to try an experiment designed to create romantic love if one isn’t open to this happening.
  • I Googled Dr. Aron’s questions; there are 36. We spent the next two hours passing my iPhone across the table, alternately posing each question. (HAHA. Just like us standing in line ups at Disneyland. 'cept the phone is not on your forehead. Or beside your forehead. And you're not "playing" with your mom and brother.)
  • The questions reminded me of the infamous boiling frog experiment in which the frog doesn’t feel the water getting hotter until it’s too late. With us, because the level of vulnerability increased gradually, I didn’t notice we had entered intimate territory until we were already there, a process that can typically take weeks or months.
  • I liked learning about myself through my answers, but I liked learning things about him even more.
  • It’s astounding, really, to hear what someone admires in you. I don’t know why we don’t go around thoughtfully complimenting one another all the time.
  •  ...staring into someone’s eyes for four silent minutes was one of the more thrilling and terrifying experiences of my life.
  • ... love is an action. 

Then there was a follow up article (with the complete listing of 36 questions) here.
  • mutual vulnerability fosters closeness.
  • Re: 4 minutes of eye gazing: “Two minutes is just enough to be terrified,” she told me. “Four really goes somewhere.”

That's all. 
Just thought, with Valentine's Day looming on the horizon, a love story would not be amiss. 


Three things I'm thankful for:

1. Urban Dictionary

2. Instagram. (William and Kate have an account!)

3. Visit with my dad tonight:
He: I am happy.
Me: How come?
He: I have no pain. And I get to wake up in the morning.

4. Anne Lamott's Facebook posts. Today's:

Let's settle this God thing once and for all.
God, or no God?
Who on earth knows?
Any proof, either way?
None, except for Bach, foxes, forgiveness, elephants, bulbs and my dog Lily, may she rest in peace. Also, the fact that someone like me could have 28 years without alcohol or the non-habit-forming marijuana I smoked on a daily basis for 15 years. Also, ripe peaches, books, and Mr. Rogers.
There is Infinite good and beauty and heroism and artistic genius everywhere we look. Is this proof of God?
No, because there is also infinite evil and madness. I am not going to name names.
What do we even mean when we use the word "God?"
For the sake of argument, let's say we mean a Higher Power--a power greater than our thinky thoughts, good ideas, grudges, positions and opinions: a divine Mind, a benevolent intelligence of some sort, some kind of bankable Love energy. Something that hears us and cares, when we cry out in our pain and mortification. I also like the Deteriorata's definition of God as the Cosmic Muffin.
But what if the most illustrious atheists and agnostics hear that we actually believe this?
It's none of your business what they think. To plagiarize from my book, it is like worrying about some guy wandering around the Mojave in a wet suit, reciting the poetry of Edgar A. Guest. People get to think and believe what they think and believe. You will never change them, or they us. Surrender: lay your weapons down. Let me make you a nice cup of tea.
What if they say you are ignorant, and a danger, in public?
It would have nothing to do with you. Maybe they are having trouble at work, or a spastic colon.
So do you actually believe that the soul is eternal? That death is just the end of dying, not of life?
Yes. Also, that there is a dessert section in heaven, and that it in fact makes up most of heaven, except for the ponds, and gift shop.
But we still die, correct?
Of course, and the question we ask ourselves, is, How do we live in the face of that? How alive are we willing to be? Why do we keep hitting the snooze button? What will it take for us to stop squandering our time?
Well? What's the answer? What does it take to get serious about this life we've been given, even if we don't know if God gave it to us, or chance?
Usually either a terminal illness or a DUI.
Is it legal to believe in evolution and all aspects of modern physics, yet also believe in a personal god, a Beloved, a sacred dimension to our lives?
Yes, in some states.

Peace, friends.

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