Wednesday, January 14, 2015

World's Most Boring Post

I have a sore foot.
I may have mentioned that.

I don't mean to go on and on about it, but keep in mind that I have it.

Because it's central to this most boring post.


I live in the basement. And to get there, I got down an interior set of stairs. It's been my experience that I've never descended those stairs with empty hands. I'm always carryin' something. Laundry basket, purse, laptop, snack, camera, glass of water. In fact, I'm sure that 90% of the time both hands are full.

Such has been the case these past few weeks.
Both hands are taking something downstairs. Which, in the past,hasn't been an issue as I simply walk down the steps.

But now?
With that sore foot?
I need to use the railing.

So I've needed one hand to do the work of two. One carries EVERYTHING, while the other? Lessens the weight on my sore foot by using the railing as a cane or a walker or a support beam.

Today I analyzed why going to the basement has been an especially arduous chore.

Here I am at the top:

My left hand is holding my laptop, charger, note book, phone, mail, hand cream, and container of Advil (not all pictured), while my right hand is going to grip that hand rail. That hand rail on the right side of the stairs.

Five steps later, I arrive on the landing and turn to the left, prepared to go the rest of way, about 50 hundred steps. 

Oh but wait. What lunacy is this? THIS is why I struggle the rest of the way. Not because there are still some Christmas decorations at the bottom (let's all guess how long it'll be before I store those)... but because for this descent, the hand rail is on the left. Up until tonight, I just carried on down those steps, like I did before my foot hurt, forgetting that I needed the handrail. But not tonight. No. Tonight I stood on the landing and transferred everything over, dropping some bits and having to pick them up, and used the railing on the left. On the LEFT SIDE OF THE STAIRS.

Is that common? To switch railing sides half-way through a flight? Because I can tell you, its a hassle for the handicapped person who has planned her descent at the top.

I warned you.

The World's Most Boring Post.

As a bonus for reading this far, here' s a fun pic that I took half-way down this second set of stairs. (Do you remember the Clampets of the Beverly Hillbillies? Do you remember their dining room table?

This might make you chuckle.

(The cleaning lady was here today, and she tidied up the furniture.)


Dining room chairs around the pool table. 

And well, that's it. 

Thanks for popping in. 

Three things I'm thankful for:

1. Last night. A friend and I felt like we hadn't had a good visit in a long time, So we met at a gas station half-way between our homes and visited at the table next to the chocolate bars and chips aisle. Haha. We were somewhat overdressed for our environment. 

2. Tonight I met a friend at a movie theatre half way between our homes and saw The Imitation Game. Have you seen it? I hightly recommend it. I love a good story.And this was brilliantly done. So good.

3. Today at work we had an all staff meeting and I ended up at the same table as the President.  He asked, in general, everyone at the table, if anyone had made any New Year's resolutions. A few people mentioned eating healthier, throwing out the microwave, doing some weight training, and then I offered that I hadn't made any resolutions, per se, but I HAD made a list of 101 things that I'd like to do in the next 1001 days. 

He was taken aback,

I explained I was an overachiever who made lists in her sleep. 

We chatted for a few more minutes and then he went to the front to lead us in devotions. Before he got started on the Holy stuff he mentions, "I was just talking to Jane. She made 101 New Years resolutions..."


By the time I got back to my desk, I had been stopped a few times in the hall.
"Really? 101? How did you even come up with that many?"
"Seriously? 101? WOW."

And so on.

So I went to my list, and took off Get a Pap Smear and Mamogram" and well as "Buy non-lacy bra" and replaced those with silly items. Then sent out this email:

Hi, all -
Uh. It was mentioned this morning that I have 101 New Year’s Resolutions, which wow. Can you imagine resolving to change 101 things about yourself in a year? Talk about an overhaul. Who would you even be at the end of that? J
What I actually have, (seeing I’ve had people ask) is a List Of 101 Things To Do in 1,001 Days. (Jan 1, 2015 – Sept 28, 2017) I’m not really resolvinganything (I’m not, like, cutting back on sugar. Or exercising more. Or trying to be more Holy, for example.)  I’m just planning on DOING THINGS. Some noble. Some stretchy. Some spiritual. Some healthy. Some random. Some (OK, most) entertaining.
Terence had suggested that before 2016, maybe I should lead devo’s and share my thoughts on preparing for the upcoming year. I just checked … “Leading Devo’s” is not on my list of things to do in the next 30 months. J
Instead, I’ll share my list so you can be either inspired or horrified, depending on your attitude towards lists with check boxes.
Sigh. Now you all know way too much,


I am thankful for the offers of friendship that resulted in my sharing that list. Haha. And also the invitation to submit an article for publishing on PARENTING.


That was rich. 
Like I had a clue. Or have a clue how to parent. 

Anyway. A fun day. And I'm thankful for it. 


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