Wedding Thoughts

In no particular order, (because thoughts aren't orderly by nature. At least blonde thoughts aren't. They jump; hither and yon,) these are my thoughts regarding weddings.

• I have a daughter. Exclamation points x 1 million.

• Although, the wedding was anti-climatic in that regard. I felt like she was 'my' daughter long before Drew even asked her to marry him. I've loved her for years, but she really felt like family the day after my dad died. She came down to my basement bedroom, hopped on the end of my bed, grabbed a pillow, a blanket and lay there, talking to me, about life (and death) and love and family and boyfriends for hours. Whether Drew married her or not, this precious girl was now part of my life.

• Weddings are stressful. Count on it. Don't assume because you're a master List Maker that you'll be exempt.

• Have friends with pick up trucks. If you don't have any, make some. Now. 

• Try your dress on more than once. Don't rely on the opinion of your mom in a dark kitchen at 11 pm at night after an evening of making pies. She loves you and thinks you're beautiful regardless. And let's be honest, ANYTHING is going to look decent at that hour. Your second try on should not be 45 minutes before the wedding when you're alone in the house, after the bride, her family and her attendants all leave and it's been your key job all morning to fiddle in the tanks of the two non-functioning toilets on the top floor of the house after each person pees. NOTHING is going to look good at that point. 

• Yes, you should lose weight. Definitely. I can't emphasize this enough. Nothing worse than being the fattest person in the room. So not a cool claim to fame. Just stop being a cow already. 

• Take photos of everything along the way. Everything. This engagement time is special - celebrate each milestone; consulting with the florist, having a test meal with the caterers, making invitations. Don't waste opportunities to capture memories.

• Pray every single day for God's blessing and presence as the Bridal Team (including families and friends) makes decisions and gather together. And pray for The Day. The Wedding Day. That God's will be done. That those who should be at the wedding will be. And those that shouldn't, won't. 

• Your deodorant will probably stop working after about two hours. Have a back up plan.

• If you can only choose one because of time restraints, and your options are; a) go to an appointment to get make up professionally applied to your baggy wrinkled face or b) hang out in your mom's bedroom with the bride and her girls, CHOOSE THE BRIDE. You will not regret it. Even when it's time to dance with your son, the groom, and you have no makeup on, because emotions, you will not regret how you spent that hour that morning.

• Anticipate that hormones as well as emotions are going to rage the week before the wedding. So don't go looking at houses to buy. OR IF YOU DO, have an understanding realtor who hugs you when you start crying on the sidewalk in front of another house that Just. Won't. Do.

• It's going to cost more than you anticipate. 

• It's going to be worth it.

• Feelings will bubble up out of nowhere. Acknowledge them but don't let them ruin the day. Process them later with a friend or six, then make changes according to the things you have control over. The rest? Just let it go. 

• Have friends on standby so that you have someone to talk to after the Wedding Weekend is over. There will be so much to talk about. Like, so much. 

• Save more than two vacation days (one before the wedding and one after the wedding isn't really enough) to use during Wedding Week. 

• Yes, definitely yes, get your face threaded the day before. That way, even if everything goes to sh*t, you at least have a hairless face. 

• Ask the venues you'll be using what happens in the event of a power outage due to the possibility of the tail end of a typhoon sweeping into your region on the day of the wedding. 

• If you are looking for a church facility; I can't say enough good things about the folks at Blue Mountain Baptist.

• If you want a florist who can make your pinterest dreams come true, talk to Alice at Florista. Seriously. That green chandelier? Was amazing and breathtaking. 

• If you have a woodsy theme in mind and stumps are the pillars of choice, give Chad a call. ($200 rental for 10 perfect stumps for the weekend.) 

• Dutchman Catering for the win.

• And our DJ? (Mark from Absolute Entertainment) Kept the dance floor hopping. One danceable song after another. I wasn't convinced we'd need a DJ. I was wrong. 

• It's a little bit lonely being a single at a wedding. If you were thinking about hiring an escort/actor to accompany and adore you all evening, I'd say go for it. 

• Don't underestimate the power of good seating arrangements. Planning in advance as to who'll sit where, has an immediate impact on everyone's enjoyment. Take the time to consider all the possible options. This applies to both the reception and the ceremony. 

• Wedding planners. Who knew? I now have a deep appreciation for what they do. Cheryl was ours. And she rocked the role. Grateful for her wisdom and tireless work. If you have a vision, a wedding planner will see that it's obtained. Thank you Cheryl for making Danica's wedding dreams come true. 

• People are watching. Guests notice things. So behave. Your character is being assessed, so be the best version of yourself. 

• Unless your name is Max O or you have years of experience public speaking spontaneously with success, write some notes/pre-think your speech. And if you're not sure what to say, you can't go wrong being generous with your thanks and your love. 

• Have kleenex on hand. You never know when a kind word or a meaningful song will undo you.

• If the visor on the driver's side of your vehicle breaks and all it does is hang down and obstruct your vision, get it fixed. 

• Start praying for your child's spouse as soon as your kid is born. Pray that God would be at work in your child's and your family's lives, preparing everyone for the one who'll marry in. And pray that God would prepare that girl (and her family) for you all. 

• If you don't particularly like the way the guy who's never done your hair before does it during the practice run through three weeks before the main event, you're likely not going to like it any better on the day of the wedding. And if he says washing your hair on the day of the wedding is not helpful, be insistent that your hair is two days dirty and you will feel better about your head when the curls and bounce inevitably fall out, that at least, AT LEAST, your hair is clean.  

• I can't emphasize enough the importance of having your own support people in place. Maxine. Shelly - thanks for letting me help you make 9 apple pies for the rehearsal dinner. Karm, Sandra and Maxine, thanks for totally managing that rehearsal dinner that was almost needed to be heated up on the BBQ and served by candlelight. Thank you for preparing, serving and cleaning up afterwards. Thank you Adam, Jesse, Rick, John and Brian for moving everything from the ceremony to the reception and setting it all up again. Thank you Rick and Sandra for taking home a load of 'things' after the reception. Thank you Chad for the stumps, candle holders and table numbers. Your help in getting everything to and then from the venues was a Godsend. Your woodsy pieces were perfect. Thank you mom for letting us invade your house; the celebrations were fun because we had a great place to gather, and those Morning of the Wedding pics were magical because your bedroom is a place of beauty. Thank you Heather for talking me off the edge on Friday when the power was out everywhere in my world and for taking Monday off work so I could process the whole thing in detail by talking, crying, laughing. remembering with a friend. Thank you to Ali and Amy who enthusiastically managed the Photo Booth/Guest Book. I love you both. (Thanks, Claire, for lending us the camera.) Thanks to Clint for remaining calm, organized and helpful not only on the day the storms hit, but the following day as well, right til the very end. And lastly, thank you to Max for getting his brother and bride to the airport. Feeling blessed to have y'all in my life. xo