Monday, September 2, 2019

Last Minute Instructions

Just me.
Telling y'all what to do.

And adding the pics that I took this evening at the Cutlus Lake Flower Fest.
It just seemed fitting that I spend a bit of time in that 5 acre garden as I say goodbye to August.

My first visit was the day after I had a surgical biopsy. I arrived with a maxi pad/dressing strapped to my chest. And the sunflowers hadn't started to bloom yet.

It was just a sea of green stalks and leaves.

My next visit was the night before I shared my diagnosis publicly, three weeks later.
I wandered around the fields, enjoyed the quiet, felt loved by the gentle breeze, had peace in my soul. The fields were in full bloom. And it was enchanting.

I went back, a week later with Dani and had so much fun doing a photo shoot.

And I went back, AGAIN, with my aunt, uncle and cousins a few days after that... and the late bloomers in the back were starting to shoot up, while the fields in the front were at their peak.

It was evident that it's the end of the season.
Hauntingly beautiful to walk through fields of flowers just past their prime.
And the late bloomers? Were standing tall (15 feet tall) in all their glory.
The air was fresh, the breeze was warm, the sun was setting, and it was the Perfect Place for me to say goodbye to August, The Most Memorable Month My Life.

If you're praying/thinking good thoughts/doing Yoga for me, here are some specifics:

1. Please keep Tessa in your prayers. It's been confirmed that she has cancer in her kidney, so they'll be removing one of them. She's waiting for a surgical date; could take up to three months. The mass on her liver is benign, so after she's recovered from her kidney surgery, she'll have that taken care of. Pray for a super quick surgery date, a prize-winning recovery time, and hope in a future filled with good health.

2. And please keep praying for the other August First Ladies. I've not met any of them, so I have no idea where they're at in their journeys. Hoping they feel peace, know they are loved, and are surrounded by an incredible support team of friends and family. Trusting that God is meeting their needs and wowing them too.

3. Pray that Dr. Cader will have steady hands, (and not drop the scalpel), that she scoops out any/all of the tissue that needs to be removed (without taking more than necessary :), that the lymph nodes will be glowing bright blue, so she can find them easily, and that she sews stitches like a couture seamstress.

4. Please pray for my kids and mom. Sept 3 might be harder on them than me?

5. While we're at it, let's pray for those families that were affected by the latest mass shooting in Texas, yeah? COME ON AMERICA - get your shit together.

6. And, uh, pray for me? That I'll be brave, come what may.

Things I'm Thankful For:

  • Spectacular sunny days expected ALL WEEK LONG. 
  • The team at Focus who're gonna keep the planes moving in my absence. 
  • Dani will come over tonight to braid my hair. 

  • Jesse and Sharalin's magical farm
  • I'm going to be very thankful for painkillers and ice packs and heating pads in about 24 hours
  • So very grateful for the nurses in my life and their offers to help me deal with the icky stuff

  • SO appreciative of writers who've published books; I plan to read my way through September
  • BUT equally grateful for the folks who make TV shows. I'll be binge-ing a whole year's worth of Netflix-watching next week. 
  • And so very very thankful for a God who is taking time out of His busy schedule of listening and answering millions of prayer requests to let me know He's heard mine too.

On Saturday morning (OK FINE, on Saturday, early afternoon) I was in bed, scrolling through Facebook Chat, responding to inquisitive, informative, fun, uplifting messages from friends, (which is a lovely thing to wake up to...) when I paused on the name of someone I've been praying for for a couple of years. We've never met, (which is true for quite a few folks I care about) but have had a friendly, though inconsistent online conversation going for three years. It'd been awhile since I'd heard from them, so I wondered,  "Is everything OK there? God? Could I get a message? Like now? Nevermind. This is dumb. You're busy with MUCH bigger, way more important world-peace things. Gonna trust that things are fineWHAT? a typing bubble? Is ... Huh? WHATTHEHECK? WHUUUT..."

I think that was the absolute fasted answer to prayer, EVER.
I wasn't even sure that I was actually praying. I was mostly just wondering/wishing/talking to myself. He listens in on everything

And if He can nudge someone to tap out a few words on their phone, He can surely make sure Dr. Cader finds everything she needs to in my armpit. 

That (miraculous? hahaha) chocolate-chat message wasn't a guarantee from God to me that I don't have more cancer lurking in hidden spots in my body. Or that recovery from this surgery is going to pain-free. Or that I'll be able to avoid chemo. OR THAT I WON'T BE BALD BY CHRISTMAS.

It was a profoundly personal response to a not-very-important (in the grand scheme of things)-but-sincere-heartfelt prayer/thought, where I heard Him say, "I know. I'm here. I'm listening. I love you."

Wishing you all a divine moment of knowing you are heard and loved.


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