I Yam

1.  I am ... disappointed in myself. Almost TWO months since my last blog post. What the heck. Also, I am a mom who identifies as a woman, and prefers the pronoun 'she' in the gender fluid world. (The last medical forms I filled out asked me those questions.)
2. I love ... driving past my new condo. And I love my kids. And I love pasta. And I love God. 
3. I have ... alot of crap I need to get rid of in 2021; my new place is teensy.
4. I think ... I wasted my money buying that Keto membership. Haha. I haven't even downloaded the app. 
5. I know ... less and less the older I get. My brain is leaking information. Or I have Alzheimer's. (Please God, no.) (I just watched Season 4 of This Is Us and my heart ACHES for Rebecca and her kids.)
6. I wish ... I had a bigger mouth, wider lips and a smaller, flatter stomach. Also I wish I could see my kids more than once every 8 weeks. WHINE WHINE WHINE.
7. I hate ... oysters (I've never had one, I've just made up my mind that I hate them.) Also getting needles. And selfish people. (OK. FINE. I don't 'hate' anyone.)
8. I like ... sleeping in a cold room, painting rocks, buying greeting cards, walking beside rivers/lakes/oceans and sitting in Danica's stylist chair.
9. I fear ... dementia. And poverty. And being unloved. 
10. I search ... for my keys. And opportunities to make a difference.
11. I am not ... looking forward to my next birthday. Also? I am not prepared for retirement. 
12. I never ... drink beer, offer to cook dinner, wear blue eye shadow, or turn down the chance to have a good conversation.
13. I always ... offer to drive. And I always pray if I say I'm going to. 
14. I need ... time alone. 
15. I am scared ... of mice. (Or maybe I just hate them?) And spiders. And snakes. And the 'end times'...
16. I smell ... Yup. Tamoxifen and killer hot flashes. But only my right pit. My left underarm was zapped with radiation, so it doesn't sweat. 
17. I believe ... I was created for a purpose. By a creator who loves me. And has a plan. 
18. I can ... apply dots of paint to rocks. (Actually EVERYONE can. I'm not so special.) 
19. I ache ... when people I love are hurting. Also my left knee and right hip are sore. 
20. I eat ... all the livelong day. With joy and enthusiasm. 
21. I crave ... fresh air/a gentle breeze while I work. 
22. I miss ... holding hands, Creationfest summers, having thick hair on the top of my head, lying on the tramp with my kids looking for shooting stars, road trips, my Murrayville house, and the joy my dad brought to family gatherings.
23. I regret ... not making an effort on my appearance for Drew and Dani's wedding. 
24. I win ... rarely. 
25. I lose ... my mind when someone turns left in front of me at the corner of 112 and 160.
26. I listen ... and then talk. It's called a conversation. I love them. 
27. I confuse ... names. All the time. I think I might have Alzheimer's. 
28. I dance ... rarely and poorly. 
29. I am happy ... yes. 
30. I work ... at checking things off To Do lists all day long. 
31. I write ... quickest with a fine ball point pen. 
32. I prefer ... having my camera off during Zoom meetings.
33. I hope ... my cousins can find a place for my Aunt Mary to live. I hope my kids won't be scrambling to find me a place to live when I'm 90. I hope some of the Covid protocols will be lifted so friends can visit their parents in care homes. I hope Donna, Lea, and Joanne's cancer treatments will be easier in the days ahead. I hope my cancer doesn't come back. I hope my mom loves her new condo. I hope this house will sell easily. I hope those that are out of work will be employed soon. I hope I can collect a ridiculous amount of cans and bottles for that guy who is out of work. I hope my twitter friend and her sister get some medical help and some relief. I hope there isn't a 'second wave'. I hope we have a sunny October. I hope those with broken hearts will experience love again. I hope I can travel to Europe again someday.
34. I'm thankful ... that Rock-star Julie taught me how to paint mandalas onto rocks. I'm thankful that SO MANY PEOPLE bought those rocks, enabling me to raise money for Twitter friend. I'm thankful for Maxine and Sister-Julie and their enthusiasm to help me feed the hungry and homeless. (Maxine wants to serve a turkey dinner in October. Julie wants to serve a ham dinner in November. I was thinking tuna casseroles would be an option. Haha.) I'm thankful for full moons and meteor showers and thunder and slippers and good books and actors/directors/producers/screenwriters ... And I'm mostly thankful for answered prayers and the God who answers them. 

 

Thanks for reading. 

Take care, be safe, wash your hands, 

xo