Wisdom: Marj

"Would you and your kids like to join us for lunch after church next Sunday?"

That's my first memory of Marj. I think it was 2003. My kids and I landed in Murrayville after a two-year best effort at living in Fraser Heights. The boys didn't want to change schools, so I was driving from Surrey to Langley (to three separate schools) twice a day. It just made sense to sell my new home and move into a family-oriented neighbourhood closer to their schools and friends. 

There was a church that met in one of the local elementary schools, so we decided to give it a try. It felt like home, so we stayed. 

And Marj invited us over; a single mom with her three boys. I'd heard about people doing this; inviting strangers to their homes, but had never experienced it before. Her generous hospitality and authentic offer of friendship scared the crap outa this introvert. 

Haha. An auspicious beginning. I'm so grateful she 'took a chance' on me. 

Marj is married to her high school sweetheart; forty years and still going strong. Together they have three kids, three kids-in-law, and 10,000 grandkids. (TEN grands.) They all live near each other, most of them on farms. They get together for bi-weekly family dinners/games nights, go camping every summer, race (dirt?) bikes as a 3-generation team and even appeared on Family Feud last year.  

Right?! Perfect life OR WHAT?!?

I think Marj was the first person who introduced me to the idea that it didn't matter what you did, God could use your conversations for His purposes. She often referred to her hair-stylist chair as a Holy Place, which 100% inspired me to be more aware of the passenger seat of my vehicles. 

Marj is a prayer warrior, a mom, a grandma, a hair stylist, a farmer's wife, a camper, a worshipper, a baker, a music-lover, a Christian, and a friend to many - including me. And she's got some wisdom to share:

I'd like to add, that so far, she's the only person who's said, "I've had fun answering your questions..." (haha, everyone else is overthinking/second-guessing/worried about their answers.) THIS SUMS UP MARJ PERFECTLY. She has fun doing life. Let's all be like Marj.

What would you tell your younger self:

Don't worry so much; God really has it down. 

I feel like my younger self should tell me that now. I think I worry more now than I did then. (I know too much now.) BUT, on the other hand, He truly has never let me down. 

What makes your life meaningful?

• Jesus. (Haha, such a Sunday School answer...) Honestly. He is the #1 reason my life has meaning. 
• Our family. We have such rich conversations, lots of fun and we love each other. Simple as that. 
• Friends. Again with the rich conversations and fun. It's so good having someone in your life who just gets you. Also? It's awesome having a variety of friends from all walks of life who bring new things to your life. 

Who has inspired you?

• Sue Priebe (friend) has inspired me by the way she lives intentionally. She puts her all into everything she does. She's an amazing teacher and loves all her students. Plus, she's the coolest Grandma ever. 
• Verna Reimer (client for 30 years) led a Bible study when I was in Greendale and has taught me so much about life. She's now in her 80's and she doesn't realize it but she's teaching me how to grow old well. 

What're you looking forward to?

Heaven. Seriously. No tears. No pain. No evil. No worry. 

But also summer and camping. 

(I don't have big dreams; I take life as it comes...)

What's the best thing about being your current age? 

I'm done parenting! (At least in the formal sense ...) I just love my adult kids and all my grands. Also I can do pretty much anything I want. 

Annnnd, there's some financial stability when you're 60. 

What's your greatest fear?

• Getting sick. Pain. Being in a hospital. Sitting in the ER with assorted sick people. (Oh, that might be more of a phobia?)
• But then... there's the Big Things that I avoid thinking about... like the kids or grands walking away from the Lord. 
• Or... one of our kids or grands being badly injured or sick (like brain damage or paralysis or cancer.)

Three major highlights:

• Having kids. Like, actually pushing them out. I can't believe I did that! And being a mom. There is nothing more rewarding than raising a family. 
• Living in Mexico. 
• Going to Bible School after I graduated from High School. Even though it was forever ago, I used to say it was the best time in my life. 
• Oooops. This is 4... but another highlight is getting to raise our kids on a farm. 

Have you experienced a life changing event and what did you learn from it?

Yes! Living in Mexico for a year when our kids were little.

I learned that Stuff means very little; relationships are everything.

Money does not make you happy.

I loved the absolute richness of experiencing God in every thing and every conversation. There were so many very obvious God moments and miracles...

Also, learned that you can't live like a Mexican in Canada. :)

Thoughts on beauty, got any?

No matter what your age, woman always want to be beautiful. Take pride in how you look; it doesn't matter what you weigh. If your hair is done (haha, spoken like a hair stylist...), you have a touch of make-up on, and you're wearing appropriate clothes, everyone can be beautiful. 

Also?

Spandex is a privilege not a right. 

How about some general wisdom thoughts? Got any?

You don't need a best friend. Each friend brings a different gift; some you can bare your soul to, some you just have good times with. Some friends you listen to, others you pray with. Don't put expectations on friendships; just enjoy them. 

Jesus. Seriously. Without Him, life is waaaaaay harder. 

Tithe. Be generous. It's good for the soul.

Favorites:

Book(s): Mark of the Lion Series, by Francine Rivers. What's So Amazing About Grace, by Philip Yancey. Another Gospel, by Alisa Childers. 

Movie(s): You've Got Mail. The Notebook.

Song(s): The Goodness of God (for worship and tears). Old time hymns like My Jesus I Love Thee and Great is Thy Faithfulness. 

The Best Make Out Song, EVER (back in the day): Every Woman in The World by Air Supply. (Oh, the memories... Hahaha.)

The Best Song to Dance To: Old Time Rock n Roll.

Anything by the Proclaimers brings back Mexico memories. 

Huey Lewis and The News: The Heart of Rock n Roll is Driving to Cultus Lake to go Skiing Music. 

City: 

The favorite place I've ever lived is Greendale. Can't beat a small country town. 

Verse: 

Proverbs 3:5 

Trust in the Lord with all your heart. DO NOT lean on your own understanding. In ALL your ways acknowledge him and HE WILL direct your paths. 

But, that said, my all time favorite passage is Psalm 139. Oh My Gosh. This amazing God of ours, who made me, knows absolutely everything about me and still loves me more than I could every comprehend. 

Activity that brings joy:

Camping

Surprising moment:

When DJ and Sheri told us they were pregnant with who we now know was Lincoln.

Flower:

Tulips

Snack:

Sweet Georgia Browns

Favorite Christmas Memory:

The one we had in Mexico. Coming home from somewhere, we saw there was a Christmas tree set up outside our trailer. We made paper chains and decorated it. I made a turkey dinner for 20 people who were missionaries we got to know. So fun. 

If you'd like to hear a from Marj herself, this is a talk she did at her church a couple years ago:

Thanks, Marj. 

xo

Women with Wisdom

So I had this idea during the summer of 2023. It was inspired by the project Katie had undertaken a few months prior regarding her Beauty over 40 Photoshoot. It was a fundraising initiative to celebrate aging and make money for the Surrey Women's Centre. (Katie is a professional photographer and the daughter of my friend, Marg.)

I responded to her Facebook post:

I am looking for 40 women, aged 40+ that want to CELEBRATE the beauty that comes with aging, AND help raise money for a great cause at the same time!

There is a Jamie Lee Curtis quote that I love. She says “The word ‘anti-aging’ has to be struck. I am PRO-aging. I want to age with intelligence, and grace, and dignity, and verve, and energy.”

At a time when mainstream media is obsessed with youth as the standard of beauty I would like to smash down that pre-conceived notion and celebrate the beauty of women in their 40s, 50s, 60s and beyond! For some of you, being the model in your own photo shoot might take a whole lot of bravery. I know I personally have struggled with allowing myself to be the one in front of the camera, but I can tell you, it really is an empowering thing to be photographed as “just me.”

I signed up for a portrait session, had my hair and face did up all fancy-like by hair and face professionals, answered some questions about beauty and decided I really like false eyelashes. 

 

SO THAT got me thinking ... not so much about BEAUTY but about wisdom. In particular, the collective smarts that people my age (and older) have accumuated due to our advanced years. We've lived through some things and learnt a bit along the way. And maybe some youngin's (women who haven't chalked up as many rotations around the sun) could benefit from our learnings? 

I'll be interviewing the friends in my life over the next year, asking them a series of questions, then posting their answers here. On Pixnprose. I'm excited about this series. 

Three things I'm thankful for:

1. Friends who are (going to be) enthused about answering my invasive, probing questions. :)

2. THIS WEEK'S WEATHER.

3. Hallmark's decision to film in my suite! They're beginning on Friday! Autumn's Gift ... watch for it this fall. 

4. Friend who did a 'bestie' photoshoot with me...

xo

Wisdom: Marg

Marg and I go WAY back; we met in the 1900's during that gracious era before cilantro and smart phones. 

We both attended a small neighbourhood church in Fraser Heights which met weekly in the local school gym; the perfect gathering space for a congregation of mostly young families. Her husband was on the leadership team, mine was one of the sound guys. I'm pretty sure it never rained, everyone was always happy and our kids were impeccably behaved. Foggy memories; all of them golden. 

And then. 

Her two sisters both died of cancer. Two of her husband's brothers died of heart issues. Then her husband got cancer. Then she got cancer. Then my husband left. And the church closed. 

As is usual, everyone scattered, like leaves in the wind, finding new churches to attend.

I eventually landed in Murrayville, Marg and her fam settled into North Langley. 

Friendships don't 'just happen'... if proximity is no longer a factor (and it wasn't. We didn't live in the same 'hood, nor did we attend the same church), an effort must be made. Without discussing it, I guess we decided our friendship was worth it, because for the past 20 years, at least once a month we get together with our third amigo (Patty) for dinner, lots of talking, sometimes a bit of crying, often a movie, and always a commitment to pray for each other. 

Marg has battled cancer like a fierce woman warrior as long as I've known her, slaying diagnosis's, scans, treatments, tests, dragons and The Waiting with her Princess Xena sword and prayer. She is one of the strongest, most resilient, most prayerful, most positive, most joy-filled women I know. She refers to her husband, Rudy, (high school sweetheart) as The Keeper of Her Heart. Theirs is a love story for the ages. 

I'm excited for you to 'meet' her and join me in being awed by the way she's lived her life so far:

What would you tell your younger self, if anything?

This is a hard one, as I love the life I've chosen. I have, though, wondered at times, who I am other than 'the wife of' and 'the mother of' ...I guess I lacked the confidence in believing in myself.

Maybe I would tell my younger self to go back to school and pursue a career? But maybe not. I'm a different person now than I was back then.

What brings your meaning to your life these days?

 The fact that I'm simply waking up brings meaning! I start my day by asking myself, what can I do today? Who can I encourage? Who can I help? How can I practice self-love/self healing? What is God saying to me? How can I show respect towards those who's views differ from mine? How can I show compassion with a gentle heart? 

Who has mentored or inspired you?

My dad. He was always kind, always gentle. He was wise and he showed me love. I've inherited his sense of humour and strong work ethic. 

What're you looking forward to?

Getting old. 

Falling even more in love with my husband. 

Having a closer relationship with my grown kids. 

Dancing at all my grandchildren's weddings. 

Going on vacations with friends. 

What's the best things about your current age?

Most of time - no peer pressure. Being confident in my own skin. 

Learning new things; what is God teaching me now? 

What's your greatest fear?

People pleasing... sometimes it consumes me. 

Three most important bits of wisdom you're learned so far?

1. Power of forgiveness, especially in terms of my childhood.

2. Knowing I am loved by The One who created me.

3. Understanding that worry does not change the outcome of my circumstances. 

Any life-changing events? What'd you learn from them?

I've had a LIFETIME of those! I'm a survivor by God's grace. He fills me with joy to accept every aspect of my journey so far. 

Thoughts on beauty?

Sure. Work at it. There is no magic wand; it takes effort. That said, if you can learn to accept the way you are and be satisfied by how uniquely the Creator made you, then I think one's beauty will be contagious and shine through for others to see. 

Favourites:

Book - Love Does by Bob Goff

TV Show - Law and Order

Song - All of Me by John Legend

City - Vancouver (born and raised)

Quote - "It's a kind word from a gentle person with an impossible prayer" B. Goff

Activity - Traveling

Surprising Moment - Ballroom dance class with my husband

Flower - Orchid

Snack - Good quality chocolate

Christmas Memory - The Christmas we tried to surprise our kids with a cruise, and we got surprised by the arrival of another grandchild instead. We didn't get to experience the cruise, but it was fun planning it. 

Lists

 

Lately I've been dropping rocks again. 

(Painted rocks.) 

Just leaving bits of colour in random places like restaurants and gas stations. 

I'm getting rid of old inventory, (rocks that I don't love), and rocks I haven't the enthusiasm to finish. I've lightened the weight of my condo by 10 pounds I reckon. Downsizing/decluttering is a way-of-life if you're a condo-dweller. 

After scrolling through Pinterest I've been inspired to try something not mandela-like, (which is so 2020), and challenge myself to make an effort at fully embracing 2024. Teensy bit excited to get started. Which is a lovely feeling as not much has sparked excitement in me since last fall. (Marriages ending, cancer diagnosis's, work issues, wonky hip ... ugh. It's been a tough slog.) 

But, painted rocks for the win? Again? Haha. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Had the first of three marathon dental appointments this morning. 

Dr. Lee comes to get me from the waiting room. He directs me to the business side of the office, with slight pressure on my elbow. 

"In here?" I guess.

"Oh. Yeah. How'd you know?" he asked.

"This has been my chair since I was 16. Pretty sure my bum has worn a groove in it."

"Fair enough. Any aches or pains I should know about?"

"Yeah, my hip is not working like it should."

"Ahhh. Sorry. I only work from the neck up."

He apologized a few minutes later, "Sorry, sweetheart, I'm going to give you some freezing..."

Him, frustrated 10 seconds later: "Let's sit you up for this. That tongue of yours is extra strong..."

"Oh," I said, "Is this the part where we talk about my tongue? It's size and strength?"

Him: "Yes."

Me: "Oh good. I've missed these conversations."

It takes three people to work on my lower left molar: One to press his pointy, spinning, buzzy, sharp tool onto the tooth that needs attention. Another one to spray water into, then suction the water out of, my mouth. And a third person (assumingly less skilled) to use the retractor to hold my tongue out of the way. 

At one point I was tempted to ask everyone to stop for a sec so I could take an ussie. 

(Ussie = a selfie + extra people)

(I think I learned this from Ted Lasso)

Does anyone else find 2-hour long dental appointments exhausting? Well, the dentist and his assistants probably do, but as a patient? Do you just feel like you need a nap afterwards? I mean, all I've done is lie there with my mouth open, breathe through my nose, think happy thoughts/pray for everyone in my life who needs me to pray for them, fight the urge to yawn or cough and remind myself to unclench all the clenched parts. How is that tiring? 

As he helps me up off the reclining leather chair I've been lazing on, he asks, "So what are your plans for the rest of the day?" 

Me: "Picking up some somasas for lunch with a friend. Then a pedicure. And then over to see a lawyer about updating my will. How about you? What've you got planned after this?"

Him: "Oh, you know. I'll probably stick around here and ...

Me: "...freeze, drill, poke and peer into open mouths all afternoon?"

Him: "Yeah."

My dentist, by the way, is about 80, maybe 100 years old. He's retired. But he comes in on Tuesdays and Fridays to make sure his favorite people have pretty smiles. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So yeah, I've updated my will. And my Power of Attorney. And that other thing to do with medical wishes. It wasn't on my Master List of  101 Things to do in the next 1001 days, but it should've been. 

Let's insert it in the #83 spot. Because, come on. Let's be real. That Elvis thing in Vegas is not likely going to happen til 2028. 

Also not on the list was this whole "Have a Hallmark Movie Filmed in Your Bedroom" experience. I should've left a few spots empty so I could slide fun To-Do's like this in. Let's squeeze it into the 24th spot. With a hip that is violently protesting any movement, going on walks is just a lovely memory, so let's use that as an excuse as to why I gained the 5 pounds I planned on losing. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Books I've read: 

(To be completely honest, I'm finishing up Atomic Habits and just starting When the Body Says No.)

So here's my list. And my progress thus far:

1	Paint 50 rocks 10 done so far
2	Paint 50 watercolour cards Made 20 Valentine's Cards
3	Empty last 3 moving boxes
4	See dentist about crowns FIRST of THREE appointments done
5	Buy three more trees for deck
6	Get eyes checked Done. Prescription glasses (progressives!) purchased. I am officially old.
7	Learn how to make ham and pea soup with Kim
8	Learn how to make goulash soup with Val
9	Blog: Klassen family trek from UK to CAN
10	Plan 2 craft nights this Winter Did a painting afternoon with Donna. Another one with Kim. That counts.
11	Plan 3 craft nights in the Spring Two DONE. (Painted with KimNav. Painted with Donna P.)
12	Plan 3 craft nights in the summer
13	Download wall Pilates or indoor walking app (See rant above re: hip)
14	Buy a headboard/frame for my bed DONE. Thanks, Donna E.
15	Buy a rug for my living room
16	Plan a trip with kids for 2025
17	If I haven’t used outdoor gas fireplace in the next year; sell it
18	Sign up for three free months of Apple TV DONE
19	Discontinue Shaw cable DONE
20	Get curtains hemmed DONE
21	Physio? For hip. Deal with it Turns out it's arthritis; might need to be replaced. :(
22	Keep blood sugar at 6.5 through 2024 So far so good.
23	Keep cholesterol at 2.5 through 2024 Ooops.
24	Lose 5 pounds Gained 5 in January
25	Lose another 5 pounds Gained another 5 in February
26	Lose a different 5 pounds Annnnd, gained 5 in March
27	Read 25 novels this year Read 10 so far
28	Read 6 Business/Management/Self-help books in 2024 Part way through 2 ...
29	Buy 100 more ducks. Print messages on bottom. Hide/place DONE
30	Eat a green thing everyday Broccoli. Peas. Cucumber. So far, so good.
31	Window blinds to be cleaned at condo Three windows done. Two to go.
32	Buy new screens for lake house
33	Blog highlights of Italy 2023
34	Blog highlights of Portugal 2023
35	Blog first 6 posts re: 60+ Wisdom
36	Get Britbox subscription
37	Read through the Bible in one year Plodding along
38	Go to six local/BC scenic spots I’ve never been
39	Learn to make Veggie Beef (barley) soup with Wendy
40	Buy a new bra if goal of losing 15 pounds is met Pffft.
41	Meet with a counsellor as many times as it takes Five sessions isn't enough. Apparently.
42	Splurge on feet; monthly pedicures/foot massages Jan, Feb, Mar, Apr
43	Research hot beverages. Find one I enjoy for social situations I really don't like hot drinks. Not going to do this one.
44	Make borscht with Clint
45	Make buttazup with Julie
46	Learn iPhone 15 Pro photography tips from Terry
47	Give Yoga a try
48	Get moles removed
49	Write an article (?)
50	Reorganize hall closet at condo
51	Reorganize spare bedroom closet. Get rid of stuff I haven’t used/touched since I moved in
52	Repot indoor plants DONE
53	Buy a case of Coppertone 8 Just checked Amazon. They don't carry anything less than SPF 30.
54	Celebrate being cancer-free on Aug 1 (Five years since diagnosis.)
55	Finalize project with Sandra
56	Learn how to bake a pie with Shelly
57	Make a batch of stew with Maxine
58	Join Andrea on a sunrise photoshoot Did one on my own. From my deck. Breathtaking. Then I went back to bed.
59	Write letters to Compassion kids; two letters for each child
60	Become acquainted with the businesses in my village Visited the other coffee shop and the optometrist. And the little grocer who sells chocolate bars, milk and butter.
61	Get together with Vern. MB or BC
62	Visit 5 new-to-me parks
63	Join Northview
64	Plan a reading weekend for winter 2024 Done
65	Plan a crafting weekend for fall 2024
66	Clean out storage locker DONE
67	Hang 2 more pics in condo
68	Wear earrings Remembering to do this once a week ...
69	Attend Hymn Sing 4 times in 2024 Feb, March, April
70	Use up Audibles points then cancel subscription DONE
71	Listen to one book per month Sigh. Haven't listened to anything so far...
72	Replace filter in closet. Ask M to help. Again. Clean closet first DONE
73	Transfer from Telus to Koodo DONE. Saving $55 per month
74	20,000 steps per week Feb NOPE
75	20,000 steps per week March NOPE
76	25,000 steps per week April Another big pile of NOPE
77	25,000 steps per week May
78	30,000 steps per week June
79	30,000 steps per week July
80	30,000 steps per week August
81	Sign up for iCloud DONE
82	Learn how to do something with hair besides putting it in a pony tail
83	Get married in Vegas with an Elvis impersonator providing the background music wearing a light green linen dress and tan coloured flip flops
84	Attend a concert of a new-to-me band Tix purchased
85	Get Mitzi detailed and replace windshield.
86	Download new game on phone Pikmin Bloom
87	BayDays. Apparently these need to be a part of my life MEH. Checked out BayDay today. Didn't buy nothing.
88	Drive a scooter through the hills of Tuscany at sunset
89	Go to another Formula One Grand Prix
90	Visit relatives in Germany
91	Do a cooking day with Heather
92	Make up next year’s To Do list while slathered in Coppertone on a pool deck in Hawaii
93	Go back to posting Three Things I’m Thankful For at least 3 times a week Argh. THIS should be easy...
94	Discover something healthy to become addicted to Not sure if it's healthy: Sunumono Salad
95	Stick my toes into a body of water that is not the Pacific Ocean or Cultus Lake
96	Write to the Altoids people and thank them for the new strawberry flavor DONE
97	Start using an electronic/phone calendar I've started ...
98	Finish sending Christmas 2023 cards DONE
99	Get excited about something new. Not pickleball. Or beets. Maybe birdwatching? Or piano bar sing a longs?
	Get rid of Delta Ceramcoat paints that are ugly colours DONE Three things I'm thankful for:  1. Pretty toes, soft feet, massaged soles. I love pedicures.  2. Appliances. Having the washing machine, dryer, and dishwasher all running at the same time, is just the loveliest background soundtrack to my life.  3. Sitting at a picnic table on Friday night at the local Food Truck Extravaganza, listening to the Dueling Piano Guys with Sandra and Sue, who exclaims, "It like we're living in a real Hallmark Movie! Here we are, at a community event on a warm Spring evening, under pretty trees, singing Sweet Caroline, eating yummy food, watching our neighbours walk by!" 4. Thankful for this son who had a birthday this week. Remembering his early days when we were first getting to know each other. Being a mom. What a wild ride. So much love.  Thanks for reading.  Be nice in traffic, don't litter, feel your boobs. xo